The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsWell....my brother died today.
Quite a character. It was just Mom him and me when I was 4 and he was 6. Lots of adventures. We moved a lot so we are both quite minimalists. My mom was a librarian so we had very intense quiet communication. Full conversations by a couple looks.
All the people who met him remember him by first name and when they met him.
Up and down the East Coast. Hampton RFK Philly Charlotte Raleigh Roanoke. Deadhead. 250 shows at least. Trust me anyone who ever met Jake remembers meeting him.
Funny smart really smart (Tolkien chapter and verse) loved food worked in lots of restaurants. We used to work in a pizza place where he tossed dough and I ran the ovens and the cash register. I wasnt aware that we were the show. Families sat in the booths up front to watch us go at it about music pop culture history sports etc.
Scarlet Begonias
marble falls
(72,951 posts)underpants
(197,531 posts)He loved that song.
BlueKota
(5,578 posts)AltairIV
(1,070 posts)mahatmakanejeeves
(71,254 posts)Im not a big fan of the Grateful Dead, but GD Radio is on my playlist.
https://www.gdradio.net/
LuckyCharms
(23,318 posts)He sounds like a great guy.
May he Rest in Peace.
babylonsister
(172,814 posts)Sincerest condolences.
Irish_Dem
(82,769 posts)What wonderful memories you have of Jake.
What character and neat guy.
surfered
(14,708 posts)Grim Chieftain
(2,186 posts)You are in my thoughts.
democrank
(12,700 posts)Take care of yourself~
yellow dahlia
(6,699 posts)He lived a life worth remembering.
sheshe2
(98,774 posts)RIP, Jake.
58Sunliner
(6,437 posts)bamagal62
(4,596 posts)For your loss. ❤️
dickthegrouch
(4,712 posts)sinkingfeeling
(58,157 posts)JMCKUSICK
(6,743 posts)You shared a treasure with us today.
SheltieLover
(82,166 posts)Healing vibes on the way to you.
2naSalit
(104,264 posts)My condolences.
MIButterfly
(3,334 posts)I extend to you and your family my condolences. May your memories of your brother eventually bring you peace.
With love and deep sympathy,
MIButterfly
mountain grammy
(29,288 posts)marked50
(1,594 posts)ancianita
(43,403 posts)and may your heart find peace, underpants.
hibbing
(10,626 posts)murielm99
(33,118 posts)It is hard to lose a sibling.
BumRushDaShow
(172,844 posts)Your happy memories will help to sustain you.
True Dough
(27,508 posts)I'll think of you and Jake. Wish I could have a slice with you both and listen to you debate.
My condolences on your loss, underpants.
Sailingdiver
(374 posts)Sounds like you have a lot of memories. Keep those alive.
Great tune. Love the Dead!
FalloutShelter
(14,695 posts)herding cats
(20,056 posts)My heart to you.
spooky3
(38,932 posts)orangecrush
(31,560 posts)Picaro
(2,444 posts)Diamond_Dog
(41,330 posts)The way you described him, he sounds like someone I wish Id met. Peace to all of you.
tavernier
(14,548 posts)My heart felt sympathy as you grieve for your loss, but at the same time you have something that cant be taken away from you.
Cherish the memories my friend.
PatrickforB
(15,549 posts)montanacowboy
(6,738 posts)Karadeniz
(24,773 posts)Chemical Bill
(3,232 posts)I only went to 3 Dead shows, so I didn't meet him, but I'm sure we had mutual friends.
mahina
(20,798 posts)The music never stops
Wishing you comfort and peace of mind.
Marthe48
(23,627 posts)I hope that your conversations will resume someday. I had a brother like that, miss him a lot.
Be nice to yourself.
Alice Kramden
(2,976 posts)May your heart be comforted by the love surrounding you
CousinIT
(12,821 posts)I know you will cherish your memories of him for the rest of your days. He sounds like a great guy and your memories are heartwarming. Wishing you and your family lots of peace and strength at this heartbreaking time.
brer cat
(27,730 posts)Ilsa
(64,681 posts)grieve this loss. Big hugs, underpants.
Sogo
(7,338 posts)It sounds like you'll always have wonderful memories of him.
greatauntoftriplets
(179,481 posts)Your brother sounds like quite a character who followed his own path. If you and your mother moved around a lot when you were kids, you probably were close friends throughout childhood. The double act in the pizza place has to have been hilarious.
Cherish your memories of him.
Duncanpup
(15,651 posts)paleotn
(22,931 posts)Sounds like we lost a great one.
Gore1FL
(22,996 posts)As the very youngest of four, I fear I will bury at least one of my siblings.
I got all the cardio-vascular genes and the anger issues, so maybe the three of them will bury me, after all.
BootinUp
(51,718 posts)Lemon Lyman
(1,637 posts)no_hypocrisy
(55,579 posts)I hope your memories give you comfort.
fierywoman
(8,648 posts)mokeyz
(118 posts)for your loss - sending hugs💙💛
Ellipsis
(9,487 posts)Last edited Fri Oct 10, 2025, 10:28 PM - Edit history (2)
I'm very sorry for the loss of your brother and wish you and yours the best.
Hey Joe
(862 posts)Its damn hard losing the most precious people in your life.
Wishing you the best.
AZJonnie
(4,134 posts)Sounds you have wonderful memories full of love & great times together. Can't hope for too much more than that in life
May Jake pass gently and be remembered fondly by all
AllyCat
(19,026 posts)Im so sorry.
KitFox
(607 posts)life well lived and a bond that will forever be with you. Take special care of yourself; grief can feel so physical, too. Peace and gentle hugs to you. 🧡🧡🧡
Dyedinthewoolliberal
(16,238 posts)Eom
MLAA
(19,824 posts)highplainsdem
(63,437 posts)sounds like someone who made friends everywhere he went.
I've been very open here about believing in an afterlife (though I'm not religious and I don't believe one's religion matters at all), and believing as well that our loved ones on the other side can sometimes find ways of comforting us when we're grieving, reassuring us that they're fine. I hope that will happen for you and Jake's other loved ones.
pdxflyboy
(960 posts)Healing vibes to you, underpants.
SleeplessinSoCal
(10,443 posts)❤️
mercuryblues
(16,536 posts)quaint
(5,112 posts)Morbius
(1,181 posts)There isn't. I think it helps at times like this to remember you are not alone, and it's sometimes okay to lean on other people. Or let them lean on you. That doesn't make it easier but I think it should help you cope.
Best wishes and sincere condolences; Morbius.
sdfernando
(6,127 posts)Sounds like you two had an amazing relationship and life. Remember all of those good times!
chowder66
(12,590 posts)MuseRider
(35,176 posts)I became the last living member of my family about 6 months ago. It hurts and will for a while. Hold those good memories close. I am so so sorry. I never had a sister but my brothers were the best, all gone before I cross 71yo.
Be well. If you ever feel like dumping you can always send a mail. I have known you so long here that it feels like family and I am so sorry you are going through this.
Eko
(10,175 posts)So sorry, thanks for coming on here and sharing about him and you.
When that happens in my life I like to watch this, and thanks for including the Dead, I gotta re-learn that diminished run Jerry did on Help on the way/Slipknot.
Keep on keeponing.
Eko.
underpants
(197,531 posts)❤️
Solly Mack
(97,338 posts)My heartfelt condolences to you.
Alice B.
(748 posts)IcyPeas
(25,939 posts)JohnnyLib2
(11,341 posts)Very sorry to hear this. My condolences'.
BComplex
(9,995 posts)Close sibling relationships are primally important to who we become/are. I'm glad that you had him in your life all these years.
When someone you love dies, the love doesn't. The love lives on in you. Sending you a big hug.
irisblue
(38,062 posts)LoisB
(13,663 posts)debm55
(62,277 posts)Uncle Joe
(65,826 posts)Last edited Sat Oct 11, 2025, 12:00 AM - Edit history (1)
Peace, strength and healing to you and your family.
EllieBC
(3,639 posts)for sharing stories about him. I think youd both have made a fabulous show at a pizza joint.
Skittles
(173,379 posts)I've lost two, it hurts
yardwork
(69,812 posts)Your brother sounds like an amazing person. I wish I had known him.
CaptainTruth
(8,285 posts)Cherish those memories, they will be with you forever.
Phoenix61
(18,907 posts)essaynnc
(997 posts)But so glad that you have so great memories of the two of you together !!!! May you Be at peace
JBTaurus83
(1,732 posts)Ive lost a couple of uncles who were Deadheads. Nice song choice.
Bayard
(30,505 posts)He sounds like a great brother and friend.
Maybe this will help some. When I lost my big brother, I started writing down everything I remembered about him, every story, every hug. Its something to hang onto. If he had kids, they'd probably appeciate it too.
Take care of yourself, and we're here for you.
LA Blue Bengal
(70 posts)for your loss. He sounds like a great person.
DaBronx
(787 posts)It is difficult to lose a sibling, one who shared the uniqueness of growing up together.
May you have strength and good memories to carry you forward.
Peace to you.
Docreed2003
(18,714 posts)hamsterjill
(17,886 posts)Peace and comfort to you and to his other family and friends.
choie
(7,080 posts)BaronChocula
(4,888 posts)and sugar magnolias.
underpants
(197,531 posts)marmar
(80,246 posts)area51
(12,768 posts)mzmolly
(52,873 posts)My condolences to you and yours.
InAbLuEsTaTe
(25,518 posts)🤗 🤗 🤗
KT2000
(22,248 posts)I am sorry. Losing a close sibling is like losing part of yourself. Peace to you.
Grumpy Old Guy
(4,408 posts)😥
UTUSN
(77,795 posts)lonely bird
(3,083 posts)May his memory be a comfort.
summer_in_TX
(4,341 posts)So sorry for your loss. May your memories of the good times bring you comfort.
HeartsCanHope
(1,770 posts)Hekate
(100,133 posts)May Jake cross gently and meet you on the other side.
Figarosmom
(14,137 posts)Sorry you lost him. Glad you have such good memories to hold.🕯
BlueWaveNeverEnd
(15,250 posts)JoseBalow
(9,813 posts)blm
(114,803 posts)peacebuzzard
(5,891 posts)BigmanPigman
(55,690 posts)I don't handle death well at all. Even though I am an atheist I know that our energies never end but continue in another form.
That helps me a tiny bit but not enough to console me. The passage of time doesn't seem to lessen the loss I feel either. That's just me I guess.
I hope you handle it better than I would.
NNadir
(38,718 posts)gademocrat7
(12,054 posts)On the loss of your beloved brother.
mwmisses4289
(4,930 posts)Sorry to hear about your loss.
OldBaldy1701E
(11,695 posts)I hope you two had a great relationship and the memories will be forever.
Donkees
(33,749 posts)
❤ ''For we put the thought of all that we love into all that we make.''
- JRR Tolkien
TommieMommy
(3,159 posts)Danmel
(5,816 posts)May sweet memories of your beloved brother bring you comfort and peace.
barbtries
(31,375 posts)If you'd been on the West Coast, he and my brother John would have definitely been friends. Love your memories here, may they and many more comfort you profoundly.
70sEraVet
(5,694 posts)Wicked Blue
(9,065 posts)Blessings of peace, heaing and wonderful memories for you.
Clouds Passing
(8,228 posts)You are so lucky to have had a good relationship with a very cool brother.
Jake
Emile
(43,807 posts)I lost my brother in April, and I miss him.
MayReasonRule
(4,143 posts)malaise
(298,746 posts)Fla Dem
(27,831 posts)
peggysue2
(12,632 posts)Losing a sibling is really hard, a punch to the head and heart.
Be kind to yourself. Sending hugs.
flashman13
(2,602 posts)LetMyPeopleVote
(183,165 posts)Mad_Dem_X
(10,248 posts)GoneOffShore
(18,036 posts)pandr32
(14,307 posts)You shared so much. It must be hard.
Faux pas
(16,563 posts)and to all who knew and loved him.
Deuxcents
(27,948 posts)swimboy
(7,331 posts)kentuck
(115,805 posts)These are some difficult times.
turbinetree
(27,774 posts)cate94
(3,129 posts)IbogaProject
(6,120 posts)And also sorry to have lost a fellow east coast dead head with over 150 shows seen while Jerry was alive.
littlemissmartypants
(35,000 posts)red dog 1
(33,614 posts)250 Grateful Dead shows?
Wow!
Celerity
(55,148 posts)luvallpeeps
(1,289 posts)So sorry for your loss. Sounds like a great brother. I feel for you.💔
cliffside
(1,824 posts)electric_blue68
(27,621 posts)Ocelot II
(131,543 posts)OAITW r.2.0
(32,851 posts)He was certainly a brother in the musical dimension.
That sucks, but the reality of mortality appears inescapable. Best thoughts my friend.
Niagara
(12,326 posts)OAITW r.2.0
(32,851 posts)While the back story doesn't quite fit, this song always evokes all the folks I have lost.
BobTheSubgenius
(12,255 posts)My sister died a few years ago (7 years younger than me) and I have always regretted not knowing her better. You and your brother were both much the better for your relationship.
SB is one of my favourite songs, btw. It seldom turns out the way it does in the song.