The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsWell....my brother died today.
Quite a character. It was just Mom him and me when I was 4 and he was 6. Lots of adventures. We moved a lot so we are both quite minimalists. My mom was a librarian so we had very intense quiet communication. Full conversations by a couple looks.
All the people who met him remember him by first name and when they met him.
Up and down the East Coast. Hampton RFK Philly Charlotte Raleigh Roanoke. Deadhead. 250 shows at least. Trust me anyone who ever met Jake remembers meeting him.
Funny smart really smart (Tolkien chapter and verse) loved food worked in lots of restaurants. We used to work in a pizza place where he tossed dough and I ran the ovens and the cash register. I wasnt aware that we were the show. Families sat in the booths up front to watch us go at it about music pop culture history sports etc.
Scarlet Begonias
marble falls
(71,638 posts)underpants
(196,068 posts)He loved that song.
BlueKota
(5,258 posts)AltairIV
(1,026 posts)mahatmakanejeeves
(69,262 posts)Im not a big fan of the Grateful Dead, but GD Radio is on my playlist.
https://www.gdradio.net/
LuckyCharms
(22,484 posts)He sounds like a great guy.
May he Rest in Peace.
babylonsister
(172,716 posts)Sincerest condolences.
Irish_Dem
(80,831 posts)What wonderful memories you have of Jake.
What character and neat guy.
surfered
(13,008 posts)Grim Chieftain
(1,597 posts)You are in my thoughts.
democrank
(12,513 posts)Take care of yourself~
yellow dahlia
(5,586 posts)He lived a life worth remembering.
sheshe2
(97,133 posts)RIP, Jake.
58Sunliner
(6,303 posts)bamagal62
(4,471 posts)For your loss. ❤️
dickthegrouch
(4,470 posts)sinkingfeeling
(57,712 posts)JMCKUSICK
(5,852 posts)You shared a treasure with us today.
SheltieLover
(79,666 posts)Healing vibes on the way to you.
2naSalit
(102,082 posts)My condolences.
MIButterfly
(2,567 posts)I extend to you and your family my condolences. May your memories of your brother eventually bring you peace.
With love and deep sympathy,
MIButterfly
mountain grammy
(28,942 posts)marked50
(1,576 posts)ancianita
(43,256 posts)and may your heart find peace, underpants.
hibbing
(10,578 posts)murielm99
(32,920 posts)It is hard to lose a sibling.
BumRushDaShow
(168,646 posts)Your happy memories will help to sustain you.
True Dough
(26,408 posts)I'll think of you and Jake. Wish I could have a slice with you both and listen to you debate.
My condolences on your loss, underpants.
Sailingdiver
(361 posts)Sounds like you have a lot of memories. Keep those alive.
Great tune. Love the Dead!
FalloutShelter
(14,386 posts)herding cats
(20,046 posts)My heart to you.
spooky3
(38,533 posts)orangecrush
(29,934 posts)Picaro
(2,377 posts)Diamond_Dog
(40,349 posts)The way you described him, he sounds like someone I wish Id met. Peace to all of you.
tavernier
(14,421 posts)My heart felt sympathy as you grieve for your loss, but at the same time you have something that cant be taken away from you.
Cherish the memories my friend.
PatrickforB
(15,409 posts)montanacowboy
(6,702 posts)Karadeniz
(24,738 posts)Chemical Bill
(3,159 posts)I only went to 3 Dead shows, so I didn't meet him, but I'm sure we had mutual friends.
mahina
(20,595 posts)The music never stops
Wishing you comfort and peace of mind.
Marthe48
(23,033 posts)I hope that your conversations will resume someday. I had a brother like that, miss him a lot.
Be nice to yourself.
Alice Kramden
(2,930 posts)May your heart be comforted by the love surrounding you
CousinIT
(12,470 posts)I know you will cherish your memories of him for the rest of your days. He sounds like a great guy and your memories are heartwarming. Wishing you and your family lots of peace and strength at this heartbreaking time.
brer cat
(27,531 posts)Ilsa
(64,243 posts)grieve this loss. Big hugs, underpants.
Sogo
(7,160 posts)It sounds like you'll always have wonderful memories of him.
greatauntoftriplets
(178,868 posts)Your brother sounds like quite a character who followed his own path. If you and your mother moved around a lot when you were kids, you probably were close friends throughout childhood. The double act in the pizza place has to have been hilarious.
Cherish your memories of him.
Duncanpup
(15,651 posts)paleotn
(22,069 posts)Sounds like we lost a great one.
Gore1FL
(22,928 posts)As the very youngest of four, I fear I will bury at least one of my siblings.
I got all the cardio-vascular genes and the anger issues, so maybe the three of them will bury me, after all.
BootinUp
(51,160 posts)Lemon Lyman
(1,585 posts)no_hypocrisy
(54,748 posts)I hope your memories give you comfort.
fierywoman
(8,560 posts)mokeyz
(108 posts)for your loss - sending hugs💙💛
Ellipsis
(9,451 posts)Last edited Fri Oct 10, 2025, 10:28 PM - Edit history (2)
I'm very sorry for the loss of your brother and wish you and yours the best.
Hey Joe
(559 posts)Its damn hard losing the most precious people in your life.
Wishing you the best.
AZJonnie
(3,582 posts)Sounds you have wonderful memories full of love & great times together. Can't hope for too much more than that in life
May Jake pass gently and be remembered fondly by all
AllyCat
(18,755 posts)Im so sorry.
KitFox
(539 posts)life well lived and a bond that will forever be with you. Take special care of yourself; grief can feel so physical, too. Peace and gentle hugs to you. 🧡🧡🧡
Dyedinthewoolliberal
(16,200 posts)Eom
MLAA
(19,715 posts)highplainsdem
(61,535 posts)sounds like someone who made friends everywhere he went.
I've been very open here about believing in an afterlife (though I'm not religious and I don't believe one's religion matters at all), and believing as well that our loved ones on the other side can sometimes find ways of comforting us when we're grieving, reassuring us that they're fine. I hope that will happen for you and Jake's other loved ones.
pdxflyboy
(924 posts)Healing vibes to you, underpants.
SleeplessinSoCal
(10,405 posts)❤️
mercuryblues
(16,355 posts)quaint
(4,945 posts)Morbius
(972 posts)There isn't. I think it helps at times like this to remember you are not alone, and it's sometimes okay to lean on other people. Or let them lean on you. That doesn't make it easier but I think it should help you cope.
Best wishes and sincere condolences; Morbius.
sdfernando
(6,062 posts)Sounds like you two had an amazing relationship and life. Remember all of those good times!
chowder66
(12,149 posts)MuseRider
(35,176 posts)I became the last living member of my family about 6 months ago. It hurts and will for a while. Hold those good memories close. I am so so sorry. I never had a sister but my brothers were the best, all gone before I cross 71yo.
Be well. If you ever feel like dumping you can always send a mail. I have known you so long here that it feels like family and I am so sorry you are going through this.
Eko
(9,955 posts)So sorry, thanks for coming on here and sharing about him and you.
When that happens in my life I like to watch this, and thanks for including the Dead, I gotta re-learn that diminished run Jerry did on Help on the way/Slipknot.
Keep on keeponing.
Eko.
underpants
(196,068 posts)❤️
Solly Mack
(96,817 posts)My heartfelt condolences to you.
Alice B.
(727 posts)IcyPeas
(25,349 posts)JohnnyLib2
(11,327 posts)Very sorry to hear this. My condolences'.
BComplex
(9,862 posts)Close sibling relationships are primally important to who we become/are. I'm glad that you had him in your life all these years.
When someone you love dies, the love doesn't. The love lives on in you. Sending you a big hug.
irisblue
(37,330 posts)LoisB
(12,817 posts)debm55
(59,581 posts)Uncle Joe
(64,898 posts)Last edited Sat Oct 11, 2025, 12:00 AM - Edit history (1)
Peace, strength and healing to you and your family.
EllieBC
(3,639 posts)for sharing stories about him. I think youd both have made a fabulous show at a pizza joint.
Skittles
(171,080 posts)I've lost two, it hurts
yardwork
(69,263 posts)Your brother sounds like an amazing person. I wish I had known him.
CaptainTruth
(8,165 posts)Cherish those memories, they will be with you forever.
Phoenix61
(18,811 posts)essaynnc
(985 posts)But so glad that you have so great memories of the two of you together !!!! May you Be at peace
JBTaurus83
(1,193 posts)Ive lost a couple of uncles who were Deadheads. Nice song choice.
Bayard
(29,390 posts)He sounds like a great brother and friend.
Maybe this will help some. When I lost my big brother, I started writing down everything I remembered about him, every story, every hug. Its something to hang onto. If he had kids, they'd probably appeciate it too.
Take care of yourself, and we're here for you.
LA Blue Bengal
(52 posts)for your loss. He sounds like a great person.
DaBronx
(764 posts)It is difficult to lose a sibling, one who shared the uniqueness of growing up together.
May you have strength and good memories to carry you forward.
Peace to you.
Docreed2003
(18,714 posts)hamsterjill
(17,479 posts)Peace and comfort to you and to his other family and friends.
choie
(6,879 posts)BaronChocula
(4,435 posts)and sugar magnolias.
underpants
(196,068 posts)marmar
(79,589 posts)area51
(12,642 posts)mzmolly
(52,766 posts)My condolences to you and yours.
InAbLuEsTaTe
(25,517 posts)🤗 🤗 🤗
KT2000
(22,103 posts)I am sorry. Losing a close sibling is like losing part of yourself. Peace to you.
Grumpy Old Guy
(4,289 posts)😥
UTUSN
(77,551 posts)lonely bird
(2,886 posts)May his memory be a comfort.
summer_in_TX
(4,122 posts)So sorry for your loss. May your memories of the good times bring you comfort.
HeartsCanHope
(1,635 posts)Hekate
(100,133 posts)May Jake cross gently and meet you on the other side.
Figarosmom
(11,428 posts)Sorry you lost him. Glad you have such good memories to hold.🕯
BlueWaveNeverEnd
(13,906 posts)JoseBalow
(9,421 posts)blm
(114,564 posts)peacebuzzard
(5,858 posts)BigmanPigman
(55,023 posts)I don't handle death well at all. Even though I am an atheist I know that our energies never end but continue in another form.
That helps me a tiny bit but not enough to console me. The passage of time doesn't seem to lessen the loss I feel either. That's just me I guess.
I hope you handle it better than I would.
NNadir
(37,846 posts)gademocrat7
(11,887 posts)On the loss of your beloved brother.
mwmisses4289
(3,860 posts)Sorry to hear about your loss.
OldBaldy1701E
(10,957 posts)I hope you two had a great relationship and the memories will be forever.
Donkees
(33,627 posts)
❤ ''For we put the thought of all that we love into all that we make.''
- JRR Tolkien
TommieMommy
(2,825 posts)Danmel
(5,761 posts)May sweet memories of your beloved brother bring you comfort and peace.
barbtries
(31,286 posts)If you'd been on the West Coast, he and my brother John would have definitely been friends. Love your memories here, may they and many more comfort you profoundly.
70sEraVet
(5,430 posts)Wicked Blue
(8,824 posts)Blessings of peace, heaing and wonderful memories for you.
Clouds Passing
(7,829 posts)You are so lucky to have had a good relationship with a very cool brother.
Jake
Emile
(41,934 posts)I lost my brother in April, and I miss him.
MayReasonRule
(4,093 posts)malaise
(295,264 posts)Fla Dem
(27,561 posts)
peggysue2
(12,499 posts)Losing a sibling is really hard, a punch to the head and heart.
Be kind to yourself. Sending hugs.
flashman13
(2,312 posts)LetMyPeopleVote
(178,604 posts)Mad_Dem_X
(10,173 posts)GoneOffShore
(18,014 posts)pandr32
(14,173 posts)You shared so much. It must be hard.
Faux pas
(16,286 posts)and to all who knew and loved him.
Deuxcents
(26,503 posts)swimboy
(7,329 posts)kentuck
(115,370 posts)These are some difficult times.
turbinetree
(27,414 posts)cate94
(3,087 posts)IbogaProject
(5,800 posts)And also sorry to have lost a fellow east coast dead head with over 150 shows seen while Jerry was alive.
littlemissmartypants
(32,809 posts)red dog 1
(32,892 posts)250 Grateful Dead shows?
Wow!
Celerity
(54,198 posts)luvallpeeps
(1,282 posts)So sorry for your loss. Sounds like a great brother. I feel for you.💔
cliffside
(1,675 posts)electric_blue68
(26,727 posts)Ocelot II
(130,221 posts)OAITW r.2.0
(32,000 posts)He was certainly a brother in the musical dimension.
That sucks, but the reality of mortality appears inescapable. Best thoughts my friend.
Niagara
(11,681 posts)OAITW r.2.0
(32,000 posts)While the back story doesn't quite fit, this song always evokes all the folks I have lost.
BobTheSubgenius
(12,205 posts)My sister died a few years ago (7 years younger than me) and I have always regretted not knowing her better. You and your brother were both much the better for your relationship.
SB is one of my favourite songs, btw. It seldom turns out the way it does in the song.