The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsWell....my brother died today.
Quite a character. It was just Mom him and me when I was 4 and he was 6. Lots of adventures. We moved a lot so we are both quite minimalists. My mom was a librarian so we had very intense quiet communication. Full conversations by a couple looks.
All the people who met him remember him by first name and when they met him.
Up and down the East Coast. Hampton RFK Philly Charlotte Raleigh Roanoke. Deadhead. 250 shows at least. Trust me anyone who ever met Jake remembers meeting him.
Funny smart really smart (Tolkien chapter and verse) loved food worked in lots of restaurants. We used to work in a pizza place where he tossed dough and I ran the ovens and the cash register. I wasnt aware that we were the show. Families sat in the booths up front to watch us go at it about music pop culture history sports etc.
Scarlet Begonias
marble falls
(70,074 posts)underpants
(194,311 posts)He loved that song.
BlueKota
(4,989 posts)AltairIV
(999 posts)mahatmakanejeeves
(67,850 posts)Im not a big fan of the Grateful Dead, but GD Radio is on my playlist.
https://www.gdradio.net/
LuckyCharms
(21,244 posts)He sounds like a great guy.
May he Rest in Peace.
babylonsister
(172,521 posts)Sincerest condolences.
Irish_Dem
(78,720 posts)What wonderful memories you have of Jake.
What character and neat guy.
surfered
(10,717 posts)Grim Chieftain
(1,051 posts)You are in my thoughts.
democrank
(12,030 posts)Take care of yourself~
yellow dahlia
(4,126 posts)He lived a life worth remembering.
sheshe2
(95,249 posts)RIP, Jake.
58Sunliner
(6,273 posts)bamagal62
(4,308 posts)For your loss. ❤️
dickthegrouch
(4,224 posts)sinkingfeeling
(56,961 posts)JMCKUSICK
(4,812 posts)You shared a treasure with us today.
SheltieLover
(75,595 posts)Healing vibes on the way to you.
2naSalit
(99,385 posts)My condolences.
MIButterfly
(1,784 posts)I extend to you and your family my condolences. May your memories of your brother eventually bring you peace.
With love and deep sympathy,
MIButterfly
mountain grammy
(28,539 posts)marked50
(1,542 posts)ancianita
(42,724 posts)and may your heart find peace, underpants.
hibbing
(10,504 posts)murielm99
(32,570 posts)It is hard to lose a sibling.
BumRushDaShow
(164,467 posts)Your happy memories will help to sustain you.
True Dough
(25,462 posts)I'll think of you and Jake. Wish I could have a slice with you both and listen to you debate.
My condolences on your loss, underpants.
Sailingdiver
(331 posts)Sounds like you have a lot of memories. Keep those alive.
Great tune. Love the Dead!
FalloutShelter
(14,083 posts)herding cats
(19,962 posts)My heart to you.
spooky3
(38,186 posts)orangecrush
(27,826 posts)Picaro
(2,313 posts)Diamond_Dog
(39,500 posts)The way you described him, he sounds like someone I wish Id met. Peace to all of you.
tavernier
(14,147 posts)My heart felt sympathy as you grieve for your loss, but at the same time you have something that cant be taken away from you.
Cherish the memories my friend.
PatrickforB
(15,316 posts)montanacowboy
(6,646 posts)Karadeniz
(24,713 posts)Chemical Bill
(3,012 posts)I only went to 3 Dead shows, so I didn't meet him, but I'm sure we had mutual friends.
mahina
(20,253 posts)The music never stops
Wishing you comfort and peace of mind.
Marthe48
(22,529 posts)I hope that your conversations will resume someday. I had a brother like that, miss him a lot.
Be nice to yourself.
Alice Kramden
(2,858 posts)May your heart be comforted by the love surrounding you
CousinIT
(12,111 posts)I know you will cherish your memories of him for the rest of your days. He sounds like a great guy and your memories are heartwarming. Wishing you and your family lots of peace and strength at this heartbreaking time.
brer cat
(27,285 posts)Ilsa
(63,702 posts)grieve this loss. Big hugs, underpants.
Sogo
(6,905 posts)It sounds like you'll always have wonderful memories of him.
greatauntoftriplets
(178,570 posts)Your brother sounds like quite a character who followed his own path. If you and your mother moved around a lot when you were kids, you probably were close friends throughout childhood. The double act in the pizza place has to have been hilarious.
Cherish your memories of him.
Duncanpup
(15,468 posts)paleotn
(21,328 posts)Sounds like we lost a great one.
Gore1FL
(22,793 posts)As the very youngest of four, I fear I will bury at least one of my siblings.
I got all the cardio-vascular genes and the anger issues, so maybe the three of them will bury me, after all.
BootinUp
(50,712 posts)Lemon Lyman
(1,552 posts)no_hypocrisy
(53,981 posts)I hope your memories give you comfort.
fierywoman
(8,490 posts)mokeyz
(96 posts)for your loss - sending hugs💙💛
Ellipsis
(9,408 posts)Last edited Fri Oct 10, 2025, 09:28 PM - Edit history (2)
I'm very sorry for the loss of your brother and wish you and yours the best.
Hey Joe
(345 posts)Its damn hard losing the most precious people in your life.
Wishing you the best.
AZJonnie
(2,511 posts)Sounds you have wonderful memories full of love & great times together. Can't hope for too much more than that in life
May Jake pass gently and be remembered fondly by all
AllyCat
(18,428 posts)Im so sorry.
KitFox
(488 posts)life well lived and a bond that will forever be with you. Take special care of yourself; grief can feel so physical, too. Peace and gentle hugs to you. 🧡🧡🧡
Dyedinthewoolliberal
(16,177 posts)Eom
MLAA
(19,642 posts)highplainsdem
(59,320 posts)sounds like someone who made friends everywhere he went.
I've been very open here about believing in an afterlife (though I'm not religious and I don't believe one's religion matters at all), and believing as well that our loved ones on the other side can sometimes find ways of comforting us when we're grieving, reassuring us that they're fine. I hope that will happen for you and Jake's other loved ones.
pdxflyboy
(904 posts)Healing vibes to you, underpants.
SleeplessinSoCal
(10,359 posts)❤️
mercuryblues
(16,095 posts)quaint
(4,516 posts)Morbius
(832 posts)There isn't. I think it helps at times like this to remember you are not alone, and it's sometimes okay to lean on other people. Or let them lean on you. That doesn't make it easier but I think it should help you cope.
Best wishes and sincere condolences; Morbius.
sdfernando
(5,986 posts)Sounds like you two had an amazing relationship and life. Remember all of those good times!
chowder66
(11,676 posts)MuseRider
(35,071 posts)I became the last living member of my family about 6 months ago. It hurts and will for a while. Hold those good memories close. I am so so sorry. I never had a sister but my brothers were the best, all gone before I cross 71yo.
Be well. If you ever feel like dumping you can always send a mail. I have known you so long here that it feels like family and I am so sorry you are going through this.
Eko
(9,806 posts)So sorry, thanks for coming on here and sharing about him and you.
When that happens in my life I like to watch this, and thanks for including the Dead, I gotta re-learn that diminished run Jerry did on Help on the way/Slipknot.
Keep on keeponing.
Eko.
underpants
(194,311 posts)❤️
Solly Mack
(96,220 posts)My heartfelt condolences to you.
Alice B.
(671 posts)IcyPeas
(24,703 posts)JohnnyLib2
(11,303 posts)Very sorry to hear this. My condolences'.
BComplex
(9,698 posts)Close sibling relationships are primally important to who we become/are. I'm glad that you had him in your life all these years.
When someone you love dies, the love doesn't. The love lives on in you. Sending you a big hug.
irisblue
(36,587 posts)LoisB
(12,163 posts)debm55
(54,114 posts)Uncle Joe
(63,925 posts)Last edited Fri Oct 10, 2025, 11:00 PM - Edit history (1)
Peace, strength and healing to you and your family.
EllieBC
(3,592 posts)for sharing stories about him. I think youd both have made a fabulous show at a pizza joint.
Skittles
(168,942 posts)I've lost two, it hurts
yardwork
(68,774 posts)Your brother sounds like an amazing person. I wish I had known him.
CaptainTruth
(8,016 posts)Cherish those memories, they will be with you forever.
Phoenix61
(18,662 posts)essaynnc
(957 posts)But so glad that you have so great memories of the two of you together !!!! May you Be at peace
JBTaurus83
(806 posts)Ive lost a couple of uncles who were Deadheads. Nice song choice.
Bayard
(28,180 posts)He sounds like a great brother and friend.
Maybe this will help some. When I lost my big brother, I started writing down everything I remembered about him, every story, every hug. Its something to hang onto. If he had kids, they'd probably appeciate it too.
Take care of yourself, and we're here for you.
LA Blue Bengal
(47 posts)for your loss. He sounds like a great person.
DaBronx
(750 posts)It is difficult to lose a sibling, one who shared the uniqueness of growing up together.
May you have strength and good memories to carry you forward.
Peace to you.
Docreed2003
(18,705 posts)hamsterjill
(16,885 posts)Peace and comfort to you and to his other family and friends.
choie
(6,497 posts)BaronChocula
(3,889 posts)and sugar magnolias.
underpants
(194,311 posts)marmar
(79,081 posts)area51
(12,544 posts)mzmolly
(52,559 posts)My condolences to you and yours.
InAbLuEsTaTe
(25,488 posts)🤗 🤗 🤗
KT2000
(21,871 posts)I am sorry. Losing a close sibling is like losing part of yourself. Peace to you.
Grumpy Old Guy
(4,147 posts)😥
lonely bird
(2,665 posts)May his memory be a comfort.
summer_in_TX
(3,973 posts)So sorry for your loss. May your memories of the good times bring you comfort.
HeartsCanHope
(1,451 posts)Hekate
(100,130 posts)May Jake cross gently and meet you on the other side.
Figarosmom
(9,387 posts)Sorry you lost him. Glad you have such good memories to hold.🕯
BlueWaveNeverEnd
(12,406 posts)JoseBalow
(9,046 posts)blm
(114,395 posts)peacebuzzard
(5,789 posts)BigmanPigman
(54,452 posts)I don't handle death well at all. Even though I am an atheist I know that our energies never end but continue in another form.
That helps me a tiny bit but not enough to console me. The passage of time doesn't seem to lessen the loss I feel either. That's just me I guess.
I hope you handle it better than I would.
NNadir
(37,048 posts)gademocrat7
(11,766 posts)On the loss of your beloved brother.
mwmisses4289
(2,953 posts)Sorry to hear about your loss.
OldBaldy1701E
(9,794 posts)I hope you two had a great relationship and the memories will be forever.
Donkees
(33,322 posts)
❤ ''For we put the thought of all that we love into all that we make.''
- JRR Tolkien
TommieMommy
(2,570 posts)Danmel
(5,664 posts)May sweet memories of your beloved brother bring you comfort and peace.
barbtries
(31,044 posts)If you'd been on the West Coast, he and my brother John would have definitely been friends. Love your memories here, may they and many more comfort you profoundly.
70sEraVet
(5,190 posts)Wicked Blue
(8,398 posts)Blessings of peace, heaing and wonderful memories for you.
Clouds Passing
(6,738 posts)You are so lucky to have had a good relationship with a very cool brother.
Jake
Emile
(39,889 posts)I lost my brother in April, and I miss him.
MayReasonRule
(3,994 posts)malaise
(291,746 posts)Fla Dem
(27,393 posts)
peggysue2
(12,346 posts)Losing a sibling is really hard, a punch to the head and heart.
Be kind to yourself. Sending hugs.
flashman13
(1,870 posts)LetMyPeopleVote
(173,707 posts)Mad_Dem_X
(10,096 posts)GoneOffShore
(17,952 posts)pandr32
(13,702 posts)You shared so much. It must be hard.
Faux pas
(16,012 posts)and to all who knew and loved him.
Deuxcents
(25,141 posts)swimboy
(7,322 posts)kentuck
(115,017 posts)These are some difficult times.
turbinetree
(26,852 posts)cate94
(3,033 posts)IbogaProject
(5,505 posts)And also sorry to have lost a fellow east coast dead head with over 150 shows seen while Jerry was alive.
littlemissmartypants
(31,102 posts)red dog 1
(32,260 posts)250 Grateful Dead shows?
Wow!
Celerity
(53,340 posts)luvallpeeps
(1,264 posts)So sorry for your loss. Sounds like a great brother. I feel for you.💔
cliffside
(1,562 posts)electric_blue68
(25,355 posts)Ocelot II
(128,630 posts)OAITW r.2.0
(31,188 posts)He was certainly a brother in the musical dimension.
That sucks, but the reality of mortality appears inescapable. Best thoughts my friend.
Niagara
(11,278 posts)OAITW r.2.0
(31,188 posts)While the back story doesn't quite fit, this song always evokes all the folks I have lost.
BobTheSubgenius
(12,163 posts)My sister died a few years ago (7 years younger than me) and I have always regretted not knowing her better. You and your brother were both much the better for your relationship.
SB is one of my favourite songs, btw. It seldom turns out the way it does in the song.