my wife passed away yesterday morning

[onethatcares]

after 14 years of fighting the cancer monster.

I hurt

[Irish_Dem]

1. I am so sorry to hear this.

My thoughts are with you right now.

[piddyprints]

2. So sorry for your loss.

Of course you hurt.

[Scrivener7]

3. Ohhhhhh. I'm so sorry.

[underpants]

4. I'm very sorry for your loss. ❤️

[Chellee]

5. I'm so sorry.

[ms liberty]

6. I am so sorry for your loss

Cancer sucks.

[NNadir]

7. Condolences. I wish I had the words to express my sympathy.

Congratulations on having known love. May you remember the joyous times, when she was cancer free.

[Hope22]

8. My heart is with you.

💗💗🙏🏼💐

[onethatcares]

9. 53 years of marriage

and I stoked her hair as she left. Now I wonder what to do

[niyad]

24. Tears here for that moment, for your loss. Please remember to be kind

and gentle with yourself. You do not have to figure things out right this minute. We are here for you.

[markie]

26. my heart goes out to you

I kept this up after my husband died... it took me a couple of months to even think about what to do.... take care of yourself

[COL Mustard]

33. There are no words. I am so sorry for your loss.

[49jim]

122. My condolences

I lost my wife of 51 years ( 54 together) three years ago this month 15th November to cancer.
I can understand what you might be going through right now.
Prayers you can find a path forward.

[PJMcK]

10. Peace

I’m sorry to hear of your loss.

[KS Toronado]

11. So sorry for your loss.

[Diamond_Dog]

12. Oh no. I'm so sorry.

Wishing you strength to cope in the days ahead.

[GentryDixon]

13. I am very sorry for the loss of your beloved wife. 💔

[HeartsCanHope]

14. I am so sorry. My deepest condolences to you, and I will keep you in my thoughts.

[sinkingfeeling]

15. My deepest condolences.

[lindalou65]

16. I am so sorry

Please accept my condolences.

[marked50]

17. So Sorry for your loss-Best wishes to you and your family

[cachukis]

18. She will be with you.

[Fla Dem]

19. I am so sorry for your loss. She is at peace now.

[lark]

20. So sorry to hear of your loss. 14 years is a near miracle, same happened with my dad's prostate cancer.

[niyad]

21. I am so very sorry for the loss of your wife. Know that your DU family

is here for you. Lean as hard as you need. Feel our strength and love holding you.

[Trueblue Texan]

22. I am so, so sorry...

I know there is nothing anyone can say or do to take away the pain of your loss, but I am sending you a hug with healing light and love. Peace and healing.

[58Sunliner]

23. I am so sorry for your loss. 💗

[kozar]

25. Thats

The worst day, Mrs K. Fought that fight as well, my thoughts to you

Koz

[Nululu]

27. So very sorry for your loss

[Botany]

28. I wish you well.

[Dr. Shepper]

29. I am so sorry.

[area51]

30. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[AllyCat]

31. Oh goodness I'm so sorry.

[Grumpy Old Guy]

32. My consolences.

[JMCKUSICK]

34. I am so very sorry Onethatcares,

I can't imagine the roller coaster that must have been like.
I pray your love kept you dear to each other throughout this ordeal and made you both stronger.
Please treasure your most intimate moments like gold, and that this journey continues, and continues together in spirit.
I hope the love felt for and with you helps sustain you in this time of loss and grief.
God Speed Onethatcares.

[Lonestarblue]

35. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Cancer is indeed a monster, and I’m sorry your wife had to suffer through so many years. Take care. I hope you have family and/or friends to lean on just now.

[Lifeafter70]

36. My heart is with you

Cancer is devastating for both the patient and their loved ones. I hope you have family and friends to support you durring this time. Sixteen years is a long battle. My son is in his tenth year battle and has just entered hospice.
Please know there are many of us here to help support you.

[niyad]

65. I am so sorry to hear about your son. Know that your DU family is

here for you as well.

[Lifeafter70]

121. Thank you

Long term cancer sucks. You want your loved one to fight in hopes of remission. Every extra day you have with them is a blessing. The downside is seeing them in so much pain and there is nothing you can do for them.
My heart is sad for care's loss of his wife.

[electric_blue68]

209. Strength to you as well.

[OldBaldy1701E]

37. I wish I could do more than say things.

I am sending as much good vibes as I can in your direction.

[PittBlue]

38. So very sorry..

Sending you peace and comfort.

[hlthe2b]

39. Your pain comes through your words and I could not hope more for all of us to absorb some of it....

Many here do have some sense of what you are going through, as pain and grief are transcendent.

My thoughts are with you. My only hope is that you take it one day at a time and let yourself grieve. Time outside in nature can be healing as well as affording you a chance to experience your feelings without others around.

Best wishes to you.

[KitFox]

40. Oh, dear onethatcares, please know, as you inch your way through this, your DU family cares mightily for you. Sending

gentle hugs to you and your loved ones. I am so sorry. Get through the day. Get through the night. Peace and love🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[richdj25]

41. Of course you have my utmost condolences

for the loss of your loved one. I can personally feel your pain, because I lost my wife back in 2003 to a sudden illness, and it hurt something awful. Please try to stay engaged as you're doing on this site, for it can be beneficial to your well being and good health.

Make sure you eat something

Take care

[UpInArms]

42. I am so sorry

(((((HUGS)))))

[edhopper]

43. So sorry for your loss

I lost my Brother in Law to cancer about a week ago.

[niyad]

67. So sorry for your loss.

[Tetrachloride]

87. Very sorry, Ed. My sincerest condolences.

[edhopper]

94. Thanks

it is appreciated

[murielm99]

115. I am sorry, ed.

[edhopper]

158. Thanks

[electric_blue68]

210. The scourge that is still too much with us! Condolences.

[twodogsbarking]

44. Take care of yourself. We are all cheering for you. Stay strong.

[snowybirdie]

45. My condolences

May she be remembered with love.

[LovelyStuff]

46. Condolences

Love, light and healing energy to you and your family. Most sorry for your loss. Glad you had the time with her.

[Gore1FL]

47. I'm sorry for your loss. nt

[Ocelot II]

48. I'm so sorry!

[badhair77]

49. I am so sorry, onethatcares.

I wish you peace and comfort.

[70sEraVet]

50. Oh, SO sorry!

Glad that you found the strength to post this. Please keep reaching out, and don't let yourself become isolated.

[dem4decades]

51. I'm sorry

[QueerDuck]

52. 🫂❤️😢🕯️

[masmdu]

53. I am sorry for your loss.

[tavernier]

54. I know your heart is hurting.

I can feel it all the way here. I pray you find peace and comfort. Make time for yourself now.

[redwitch]

55. I'm so sorry!

Cancer sucks.

[True Dough]

56. We care about you,

onethatcares. A tidal wave of emotions will likely wash over you for the coming weeks and months. Reach out for help if you need it. Take care of yourself.

[Clouds Passing]

57. Sending comfort to you, onethatcares 💖

I’m sorry for your loss. The bittersweet moment of touching your wife’s hair as she crossed over

[Tetrachloride]

58. My sincerest condolences.

My regards from Wisconsin.

[Hey Joe]

59. My deepest condolences to you and yours

Just know that she will be with you in spirit and memory always.
Take care

[bluescribbler]

60. You have my sympathy.

I lost my wife of 24 years to malignant melanoma in 2009. The hurt never really goes away. I am sorry for your loss.

[ratchiweenie]

61. I am so sorry. I can't even imagine 14 years. Please take care of yourself and come here and talk to us.

[highplainsdem]

62. I'm so sorry.

DU is here for you.

[Attilatheblond]

63. Know that those who have walked this trail are with you and here for you

Strength, understanding, and love coming from DUers you never met, but who you can lean on.

[Emile]

64. I'm sorry you are going through this heartache.

[Mr. Mustard 2023]

66. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[TNNurse]

68. I am so very sorry

[appleannie1]

69. So sorry.

[JustAnotherGen]

70. I'm so sorry

[Karadeniz]

71. So sorry...you both gave it a good fight...

[OddMom20]

72. We are with you

I am so sorry you are hurting. Having walked the loss journey, I know the path but can only imagine your pain. Please know that I am thinking of you, your wife and your family.

[essaynnc]

73. So sorry for your loss

I'm sure you're feeling tons of emotions- Not good. Not bad. They are

[mwmisses4289]

74. 🫂

[Sanity Claws]

75. My sincere condolences

[LetMyPeopleVote]

76. I am sorry for your loss

[DownriverDem]

77. So sorry

May the good memories help you through the painful future days.

[Texin]

78. I'm very sorry for your loss.

[Doodley]

79. Sorry Onethatcares. You need some hugs.

[SuzyandPuffpuff]

80. My brother on Feb 15

Lost his beautiful lady after five years of that hideous reprehensible disease. I'm so sorry . Cancer is hateful

[electric_blue68]

211. Hugs to your brother and you

[justaprogressive]

81. Don't try and do this alone

there are some things we all need help with...

[SocialDemocrat61]

82. So sorry

[Grim Chieftain]

83. I am so very sorry, onethatcares

I hope your memories will be a comfort at this difficult time. Please know I hold you in my thoughts and in my heart.

[debm55]

84. I am so sorry, one that cares. May the memories of your dear wife be a blessing to you.

[TygrBright]

85. Holding you in my heart... thank you for letting us know. n/t

[CaliforniaPeggy]

86. Of course you hurt, my dear onethatcares . . .

My deepest condolences to you as you deal with this terrible loss. Please be gentle with yourself and reach out to us as you can.



May she rest in peace.

[Aristus]

88. ...

[IndyPepper]

89. Heartbreaking

I am so sorry for your loss. Know that everyone here has your back during this difficult time.

[paxmoki]

90. So sorry

Dear Onethatcares
So sorry for your loss

[Mz Pip]

91. So sorry to here this

My condolences to you and your family.

[AllaN01Bear]

92. aw heck

[in2herbs]

93. I join with others and send my sympathy. nt

[Richluu]

95. I know this feeling 🌠

My husband passed just before Christmas three years ago. Grieve then rebuild.

"Heaviness was may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning."

Blessings.

[democrank]

96. We're surrounding you with love.

So sorry ~

[Chi67]

97. Aww!

So sorry to hear. Take care!

[Tree Lady]

98. So sorry for your loss

Hugs

[1WorldHope]

99. I bet you hurt. That was a good long fight.

I hope you were with her when she passed and were able to tell her that you will see her in a blink of an eye. Time must be nothing on the other side. I hope that you have support to help you survive the loss of your life partner. 💙💙💙

[littlemissmartypants]

100. So sorry, onethatcares. We love you. ❤️

[yardwork]

101. I'm so sorry for your loss!

[flashman13]

102. Maybe additional cancer research could avoid such horrors. But of course tax cuts are more important.

My deepest condolences sir. May your wife find peace.

[CaptainTruth]

103. I'm so sorry...

[lostnfound]

104. Our hearts are with you along with our condolences

Along with the grief that comes from loss is a depth of gratitude, for having had someone in our lives who was that special.

[onethatcares]

105. two songs saving me today

Turn around look at me by the vogues (Her favorite oldie and

goes to show you never can tell by Springsteen

Thank you so much for all the kind words my DU friends

[jmbar2]

106. Words never suffice in a time like this

She was blessed with 53 years of being loved deeply and cared for in her greatest times of need. That is a life well-lived.

Your DU family is here for you through these tough times. [[[hugs]]]

[SorellaLaBefana]

107. You must, I think, feel eversomuch alone

May you stay well. May you, after a time, find peace.

[Niagara]

108. My condolences to you and your family, onethatcares

[Solly Mack]

109. I am so sorry for your loss.

[AltairIV]

110. I am terribly sorry for your loss.

[kimbutgar]

111. My condolences to you and your family

Take heart in knowing she will always be with you in your heart and her spirit.

[hamsterjill]

112. I am so sorry to read this.

Please accept my condolences on your loss.

[stollen]

113. How fortunate your wife had you

to be by her side all these years during her fight, and she by you.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[murielm99]

114. I am so sorry.

Cancer sucks.

[awesomerwb1]

116. I'm so sorry for your loss

[MayReasonRule]

117. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

[WestMichRad]

118. I am so sorry for your loss.

[orleans]

119. my heart goes out to you

just remember you are still loved, so much
love never dies
your love for her
and her love for you
it's the thread that will keep you connected until you meet again

for now, go slow -- move slow
grief can come in waves
knock you off balance,
so move more slowly
as you navigate these days ahead

[byronius]

120. So very sorry for your loss.

[JoseBalow]

123. I'm very sorry

[barbtries]

124. I am so sorry!

Please know many people are holding in their virtual arms to comfort you at this time.

[popsdenver]

125. My Heart

aches for you.........................

It was brutal on your wife......but also, extremely brutal on you all these years........

[Wicked Blue]

126. Dear onethatcares...we care

Sending you peace and healing

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[angrychair]

127. I'm so very sorry for your lose

I hope for comfort and love for you and your family.

[Duncanpup]

128. Hugs

[pandr32]

129. How awful!

You must feel so lost. I am so sorry.

[people]

130. We are all thinking of you

So sad to hear this.

[LoisB]

131. I am so sorry. May you know peace.

[SheltieLover]

132. Deepest condolences to you

Please be very gentle with yourself & contact your local hospice for bereavement counseling to help you resolve your grief.

[maveric]

133. I'm so sorry.

I lost Mrs. Mav last year to the same.

[electric_blue68]

212. A Hug to you.

[maveric]

219. Thank you

[electric_blue68]

222. YW. I hope you have support. It's relatively new on a long journey to a different life.

[greatauntoftriplets]

134. My condolences for your loss.

[Ninga]

135. Heartfelt condolences on the loss of your wife. 14 years is a long time, may she rest in peace and may you find

comfort in her memory……

[IbogaProject]

136. So sorry for your loss

Please slow down and take care of yourself you have to be mindful and build a new routine for yourself. You are at an increased risk yourself for the next six months. And try and take solice that she isn't the one left with out you.

[Picaro]

137. So sorry for your loss

[Alliepoo]

138. I'm so sorry.

Please accept my condolences.

[FoxNewsSucks]

139. I'm really sorry,

I never know what else to say about things so terrible

[Dorothy V]

140. Love Never Ends

Take condolence in the knowledge that your wife's gentle presence will be with you so long as you remember her.

We are here for you. Reach out as often as you need to.

[KT2000]

141. On no, I am so sorry

There are no words I can say except know that you are in our thoughts.

[quakerboy]

142. Im sorry

Loss sucks.

[sellitman]

143. The saddest part is

They could of cured this horrific disease if they wanted too.

They make too much money treating it to cure it.

[S/V Loner]

144. Very sorry.

[gademocrat7]

145. Sincere Condolences

On the loss of your beloved wife. Take care.

[ironman99]

146. I am sorry to here this.

Having been through this myself, all I can say is take care of yourself. Remember the good times with your wife.

As a fiend who had also lost his wife told me once, this grief is going to be like you are floating in the ocean. A big wave of grief will hit you and push you down but you will swim to the surface a little closer to shore. Smaller wavies will hit and just push you to shore. Eventually you will reach a point where you will get hit by a big wave but you can stand on the sea bed and roll with it, and you will be able to walk to shore.

Stay strong.

[Deep State Witch]

147. So Sorry For Your Loss!

Hail the Traveler! May she go forth shining!

[jackcrow2001]

148. Very sorry for your loss

I can't know how it feels for you, my wife passed away from cancer April 2022 , less than a year from diagnosis to dying.
I've never considered any form of therapy as useful to me and by that I really mean just for me, as I feel kind of emotionally balanced and healthy for the most part, I did attend a survivors group recommended and organized by the Hospice that my wife spent her final few days in, and it really did me far more good than I would have imagined. My family and friends could not have been more supportive and loving......but it just felt wrong to me to express my feelings like I would burden family and friends with how colorless I felt at the time. Also as a male of my age even though I don't think there is anything wrong with a man crying, it feels wrong, I still can't break that programming. I was able to say things, express myself, and openly cry in front of other people in the survivors group that I could not have done anywhere else, it helped me to heal emotionally far quicker than if I had not gone there. I can't possibly know if a similar forum would be of use to you, but thought I would share how much it helped me. Whenever asked how I'm doing now after time has passed, I can honestly say that my feelings, thoughts and emotions are based on the 25 wonderful years we had together, it was truly an awesome relationship, and that is the center of my mindset, I would take the time we had together and cherish it again and again forever.
Healing and hope to you
jackcrow2001

[electric_blue68]

214. Because of cultural conditioning I'm glad you found a group to process, unburden yourself, and heal

faster expected.

[cilla4progress]

149. We embrace you, onethatcares,

In our loving arms!

Peace to you.

[creeksneakers2]

150. Prayers for both of you.

[DarthDem]

151. Oh, I'm So Very Sorry

She sounds like quite a wonderful fighter. May her memory be a blessing, and my very, very best wishes to you in this time.

[oldtime dfl_er]

152. Very sorry

Condolences.

[Mad_Dem_X]

153. My deepest sympathies.

[BootinUp]

154. So sorry.

[debsy]

155. I am so sorry for your loss

.

[FakeNoose]

156. Onethatcares, I'm so sorry that you lost your dear wife

Thank you for sharing your pain and sorrow with us on DU. Believe me DU cares about the problems we face, it's not just about politics. Did you know that we have an entire section of Support Forums, where you can connect with others who have recently lost their loved ones? If you're feeling alone you can connect with others in the same situation and dealing with the complicated emotions.

It's called the Bereavement Forum, and it's here: https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1315

Also there is the Cancer Support Forum, and another one called End of Life Issues.

May your dear wife rest in peace and may her memory be a blessing.

[Buddyzbuddy]

157. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure each of us feel a little pain on your behalf in the hope that it might alleviate some

of what you feel.

Always remember her smile and the way you made her laugh, the last time you embraced her, the first time you embraced her. The "look" when you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together.
Feel sadness at your loss and then remember the joy you shared for so long.

Please be well.

[Tikki]

159. Strong hugs around the onethatcares family and friends...

Tikki

[cate94]

160. I'm so sorry!

[TommieMommy]

161. I'm so so sorry. I understand the hurt. I'm still grieving the loss of my wonderful husband 🙏

[electric_blue68]

215. A Hug to you

[vishnura]

162. Condolences

So sorry to hear this. May she rest in peace.

[BaronChocula]

163. May her memory be a blessing

[vanessa_ca]

164. I am so sorry! I pray memories of the wonderful times you shared

alleviate the sorrow in your heart soon. May she rest in peace.

[Queso Delicioso]

165. May she rest in peace.

[choie]

166. Oh Onethatcares

I’m so very sorry.

[mahina]

167. (((Onethatcares)))

Sending you a prayer for peace.

Thank you for letting us know.

Will be thinking of you ✨✨✨

[live love laugh]

168. I'm so sorry for your loss. 💔

[EuterpeThelo]

169. I am so, so sorry.

Sending love and light. I lost my soulmate five and a half years ago and understand how much you are hurting right now.

[thomhartmann]

170. Sending love and good vibes...

I just can’t imagine…. I remember when Louise was diagnosed with breast cancer and how frightened I was. She’s good now, but ouch…

[Marie Marie]

171. Oh how awful for you. Stay close - we care.

[rustysgurl]

172. I am so sorry ...

... thinking of you during this time. I hope you have family and friends surrounding you with love and support.

[Vinca]

173. Condolences. She must have put up a heck of a fight. 14 years. So sad for you.

[skylucy]

174. I'm so sorry onethatcares.

[BumRushDaShow]

175. (((HUGS)))

and my sympathies to you.

[FadedMullet]

176. I'm really sorry for you and your loss. Sometimes I think that us men really should "go" first because we don't.....

.......do well with the loss. I hope that in your case you can bounce back and thrive, have a new and different life in the near future.

[spooky3]

177. Condolences to you.

[TBF]

178. So sorry for your loss - nt.

[Roy Rolling]

179. Love, just love

And with love, you may be able to survive the passage of time.

Time will heal, but it doesn’t take away the pain now. God bless, know we all have taken a moment of our time to share with you in your pain.

[mercuryblues]

180. May you, your family and friends

Find your way through these sad times.

[Cha]

181. I'm So Sorry, onethatcares 💙

💙

[ProfessorGAC]

182. Deepest Condolences

Very sad to hear.
Keep your chin up. You'll get through this.

[FM123]

183. I am so very sorry.

Please know that we are here for you on DU.

[Skittles]

184. so very sorry

so sick of cancer, we should have had a cure by now

someone is always here on DU, we care

[TexLaProgressive]

185. As a recent widower my heart goes out to you.

[4Sitka]

186. So sorry to hear

about you losing your beloved wife.

[riverbendviewgal]

187. So sorry for the passing 0f your wife.

I lost mine in 2001 because of Cancer. Our son died in1999 from Cancer. My husband already had his cancer then. It's not easy. Get all the help you can get. I am seeking a grieving group again. As I have no family but only a mentally ill son in England who needs my help that I can't give. I have a few friends who try to help me.

My thoughts are with you.

[electric_blue68]

217. That's way too close shocks. A hug to you.

[Joinfortmill]

188. My deepest sympathy.

[Tumbulu]

189. Sending my deepest condolences

[Ksout]

190. Caring

Everyone grieves in their own way and time. However, I hope all the loving thoughts, experiences, and empathy have helped today in your journey. I am so glad you reached out.

[cliffside]

191. I'm so sorry onethatcares ....

and hope you can find some solace in knowing you were there for your wife.

You always had kind words for me when times were difficult.

Be kind to yourself.

[BigmanPigman]

192. I hope she visits you

She may already have visited you. Be sure to keep your senses keen and alert for any sort of sign that she is OK, loves you and will be there waiting for you at "home".

This happened, and still happens to me after my dad and my 2 dogs died (they were my babies).

If you are able to relax at all (it is very difficult when you are still in a state of shock) you may want to notice any sounds, smells, voices, dreams, etc. That is usually when I have been visited by my dad and dogs after they died. It's comforting and I welcome it and keep track of the visits in a journal. I get many at 11 AM (the time my dog died here at our home). A lot of people don't believe in this stuff since it can't be explained by science but once they experience something personal they realize that this is real and just not understood at this time.

[AKwannabe]

193. ((Hugs))

We’re here for ya

[Phentex]

194. So very sorry. That's a long time

I’ll be thinking of you.

[blm]

195. ((one))

🕯️

[Morbius]

196. I am so sorry.

[blogslug]

197. I'm so sorry.

My heart goes out to you. ❤️

[some_of_us_are_sane]

198. Just feel our love wrapping around you

tight and soft. Like a bunting blanket. So sad, onethatcares.

[Jay25]

199. I am so sorry for your loss.

[Exp]

200. I feel so very sorry for you. I'm married, too, to a wonderful woman. 14 years is a hell of a battle. She was very

strong, now you must be strong as well, please, grieve but be good to yourself.

[MLAA]

201. Dear onethatcares, I understand. My dear husband of 38 years passed 26 days ago. I'm finding comfort in talking

to him. I reassure him that he is exactly where he is supposed to be to be and that one day, just not today, that I will be okay. I can sometimes feel his presence when I talk to him especially when it’s quiet and I meditate first for a few minutes (basically just close my eyes and clear my head of thoughts). I’ve found some comfort and freedom in solitude the first couple of weeks and then in seeing friends one at a time after that. But mostly talking to him, though I’ve also done my share of screaming in the empty house and having meltdowns. I just give into my emotions then go back to talking to him. ❤️. Sending kind thoughts to you.

[electric_blue68]

216. Not long ago at all! A hug to you.

[MLAA]

233. Thank you for your kindness. 🩷

[Niagara]

240. I'm so sorry, MLAA

I was on vacation that week and so if you posted about your dear husband I missed it.

Here's kind thoughts to you as well. ❤️

[MLAA]

245. Thank you for your kindness. 💕

I didn’t feel up to posting it.

[debm55]

243. I am so sorry for your loss, MLAA

[MLAA]

244. Thank you for the hugs, Deb. I need them.

[BlueKota]

202. I am so sorry for your loss.

[bronxiteforever]

203. I am so sorry. Thinking of you.

[applegrove]

204. So sorry for your loss onethatcares. Vibes to you and yours.

Last edited Sun Nov 9, 2025, 11:05 PM - Edit history (1)

[Permanut]

205. It's good that she had you..

and now you have memories, some not so good, but I'm bettin' you have some good ones too.

[herding cats]

206. My deepest condolences. ❤️

My heart is with you. Cancer is such a cruel disease.

[Festivito]

207. Time well spent. May you spend your new life well.

I know. You can feel a little lost at this time. Little conciliations I no longer need to take. They slowly disappear. Everything will be alright. You'll be alright.

[Mz.LadyRe22]

208. My heart breaks for you

Thank you for letting us know…and sharing with us……II’m so so so sorry for your loss…………I feel your pain and loss…..Blessings my friend❤️

[babylonsister]

213. I hurt for you.

And FUCK CANCER!!!

[Beacool]

218. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I hope that you have family and friends supporting you in this difficult time. May your dear wife rest in peace.

[Bluepinky]

220. I'm sorry. 😢

[electric_blue68]

221. Dang! So sorry. Just seeing this. Strength to you as you navigate both the practical things, and the roils of emotions..

or holes of emptiness.
Everyone grieves in their own way. Remember that. And all the love you had for each other.

I hope you have friends, and other family to help support you. And glad at least a previous poster mentioned the DU Support groups if/when you're up for hose.

[JohnnyLib2]

223. I'm very sorry for your tough, painful loss.

[Jack Valentino]

224. The only consolation I can offer is 'she only left you against her will'

I am very sorry for your loss.... I can't imagine having to endure such a loss....

(I had a wife once--- but she left me because of my own personal failures..)

I am sure that your wife would want you to
try to pick up the pieces and carry on, after an understandable period of mourning
--- and not surrender to despair!

(My father did that after my mother died,
devoted himself to looking after his children,
with such assistance as they needed--- and he was amazing in that---

particularly, as a child, I always assumed that he would die before my mother,
because he was a smoker--- but he quit that habit more than 20 years before he died...)

My heart goes out to you!

[Xipe Totec]

225. May you fondly remember to good moments spent with her

and honor her memory is this way.

[Basso8vb]

226. My most sincere condolences to you and your family.

[summer_in_TX]

227. I'm so sorry for your loss, OTC.

Sending hugs.

May all the wonderful memories be a blessing and a comfort to you.

[irisblue]

228. I cannot find the words...I grieve by your side

[Shellback Squid]

229. that pain will always have place in your heart

[Dystopian]

230. My heartfelt condolences

May you find peace in your loving memories.

[Prairie_Seagull]

231. Today we are manythatcare.

So sorry and damn just,,,damn.

[Magoo48]

232. Peace

[DFW]

234. I whish I had words of wisdom for you. I am not so foolish as to think I do.

My wife had cancer. Twice. She beat it twice. So far. Both my parents and all of their siblings had cancer. With me, it's not "if," but "when." We have been losing family and friends to cancer for over 40 years now. It's a club no one should be made to join. How does one console that?

If some superbillionaire makes a typo in his will and leaves me ten billion by mistake, I'm donating 95% of it to the battle against cancer, because it's just time, dammit. It's time to defeat the monster.

[onethatcares]

236. it's been "remission after remission"

since 2010 and each time it changed form , name and shape. She just got tired of being a human pin cushion test pilot.

The morning of the day before she passed we discussed the end. I'm sadly glad we did because even with a living will and a dnr ittt was
so hard to tell the doctors to stop everything.

Thank you all for the kind words and virtual hand holding and hugs.

You people are the best..

[DFW]

237. A cruel cycle of, "I think we've beaten it--oh, sorry, no we didn't." And you put up with that for fourteen years?

I think the two of you should have been able to stop a charging rhino in the early years.

With us, the first time, it was breast cancer. She got the standard cycle: operation, chemo, radiation, month-long stay at a cancer rehab spa.
The second time, it was a rare kind known here as "the murderer." It was discovered as a chance bit of luck, and the oncologist said it was extremelybad news, but that it was a silent killer that no one evercaught this early. Brutal operation, no chemo (onc said no point--either we got it all and you're good, or we didn't and you're not), but all 84 biopsies taken came back negative, which they said they had never seen. And then the month-long stay at the cancer rehab spa again. It has not been a smooth ride, but any cancer ride that leaves the patient still standing is smoother than the alternative. It sounds like you two stood longer than most. It's not much of a consolation now, is it?

[onethatcares]

238. cholangial carcenoma was her first

Doctors took out part of her intestines, and a few other parts and after 7 days in hospital was discharged and went back to work with the "we'll keep an eye on you".pep talk.
Two years later she tested positive for pancreatic cancer, another stint in hospital with a Whipple surgery and a partial removal or her liver and more chemo, three days at home and she went back to work so as not to piss off the company she worked for. She arranged her schedule so she could get chemo and work afterwards. That kept her in insurance. She went into remission for almost 8 yrs then one morning she had sharp pain in her side and off to the hospital she went. ONC said he had super chemo that worked 99% of the time, She was in the 1% that it didn't so off to chemo/radiation which kinda worked but she developed 3 brain tumors the day before fathers day this year and underwent removal of the largest and radiation on the two small ones. ONC tells us he has a wonder drug that works 99.5% of the time so off we went last week for testing and to get her scheduled for wonder drug infusion. That's set for Nov 20. Next week. On Nov 8 we had fed our dog and she went to set her on the floor and then she fell out of the chair seat and banged her head.

I call 911 and they were johnny on the spot taking her to the emergency room. i followed and stayed with her. She was talking to me and the triage nurses and then stopped. Nurse tried to get responses from her to no avail and they moved her out of triqge to q private room where she passed about 6 hours later.

I had the privlege to be with her that entire time and as hard as it was I wouldn't trade that time for anything

I'm sorry I got so wordy but my fingers wouldn't stop typing.

Thank you for your kind words.......I feel them in my heart

[Niagara]

239. onethatcares....

I wanted to address something that you wrote.

I'm sorry I got so wordy but my fingers wouldn't stop typing.

Don't ever apologize for getting wordy. You talk about it all you want to. And you keep talking about it all you want to.


DU is here to listen. I might not have any other sound advice for you except keep talking about it. It's only a small fraction of the grieving process. Again, don't apologize.

Sending good thoughts your way during this difficult time.

[Nittersing]

235. Thinking of you this morning OTC.

I know your world is upside down right now.

Hugging is all I know how to do.

[lapucelle]

241. I'm so sorry.

[malaise]

242. You have the right to hurt

In time you will be filled with lovely memories.
Deepest sympathy