What would your text message to Jesus be?

[True Dough]

Something like, "Hey Jesus. You're a carpenter. Could you build me a new new deck? I'll even supply the materials."

[sop]

1. AI Jesus

[Chasstev365]

2. And you thought the money lenders in the Temple were bad..

[underpants]

6. That's it

[bottomofthehill]

3. WWYD?

[Haggard Celine]

4. Are we seeing the beginning of an AI church?

Creepy!

[Duncanpup]

5. Where have you been It's been like 2000 years.

[doc03]

7. Stay the fuck out of government. nr

[Lovie777]

8. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........................

no more prayers?

[Marthe48]

9. Same results with a Magic 8 Ball

Yes, no, and wait awhile.

[OldBaldy1701E]

10. Are you okay with what these assholes are doing in your name? (n/t)

[chicoescuela]

11. Jesus, you got one job to do.

Please hurry for the sake of the entire planet.

[PJMcK]

12. Hey, Jesus!

Prove your existence.

Why would you appear to sheep herders in an obscure corner of the world in a time without mass media? Show up today and use all the media— TV, radio, internet, social media, etc.— to broadcast your messages of peace and love. You would reach billions of people and expand Christianity.

In addition, you could clarify your messages that so many charlatans have bastardized.

But without evidence of your existence, I can’t be bothered.

By the way, you do know that your, the Bible, is chock full of contradictions and falsehoods, right?

[True Dough]

13. You know

that you might end up with texting charges from your carrier if you send all that, right?

[PJMcK]

16. Good snark!

My phone plan allows for unlimited text and data!

Of course, I won’t expect a response.

Enjoy your weekend!

[True Dough]

18. You too, PJMcK!

[Aristus]

14. Hey, Yehoshua; you want to come down here and bitch-slap

the people commit atrocities in your name? Kthxby.

[GreenWave]

15. Is Herc ok with the usurpation of his 4 titles?

Son of Man?
Prince of Peace?
Good Shepherd?
Soter, er, Savior?

[Norrrm]

17. Jesus is not omnipotent enough to communicate himself?

Pat Robertson, Franklin Graham and their ilk are CBR - Cash Based Religion.

Judas was an early, modern-day, conservative disciple.

Judas got 30 pieces of silver, but just once, for selling Christ.

Franklin Graham, Jim Bakker, Pat Robertson, and their ilk get millions of dollars repeatedly for selling Christ.

Judas was a fool for doing a one-time sale.

[Solly Mack]

19. How's it hanging?

[True Dough]

21. I'm sensing

some double-entendre!

[Solly Mack]

22. Well, it ain't a parable.

[Iggo]

20. "Whoa! You're real? No fucking way!'

[LudwigPastorius]

23. What does the "H." stand for?

[Rizen]

24. I like your Christ.

I do not like your Christians, they are so unlike your Christ.

[JoseBalow]

25. "What's the best mulch for my rose beds in the fall?"

[Ocelot II]

26. Where have you been? Weren't you supposed to come back years ago?

Or was hanging out with your dad and the cherubim and seraphim too cushy a gig to give up? Can't blame you, though, considering what the same sort of assholes we've got now did to you last time.

[JBTaurus83]

27. This is ridiculous and creepy.

EOM

[JoseBalow]

29. For sure, yet millions of people actually believe in it

[jls4561]

28. Could you ask your dad to smite this program and everyone associated with it?