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Sadly, you just have to accept the fact that that will never happen.
You did nothing wrong. Your family are toxic people and they aren't going to change, which isn't your fault, and you will remain miserable as long as you keep hoping that they will. Counseling might help you accept the situation, but the only way you're ever going to escape the misery they've inflicted on you is by realizing that they will never change and shutting them out of your life. Your husband is your family, not these other terrible people.