Invalid?

[Not Heidi]

If a person stays in bed until 3:00 - 4:00 in the afternoon, is the person an invalid? And doesn't eat regular meals, but gets all his/her calories from sugar, is the person an invalid? The person eats three or four bites of dinner and no more - invalid? The only exercise the person gets is to use his/her rolling walker around the house.

This person spends every waking moment on his/her tablet: doing crosswords, playing solitaire and other games; watching YouTube and new videos, watching reels (and getting indignant at AI, but so do I; can't judge on that score). S/he doesn't read books. That's distressing to me. Reading books is one of the things that keeps me alive.

The person doesn't leave the house but for appointments: doctors, therapist, etc. I've asked this person to take a walk with me outside - but that prospect scares me because I fall. But I'll still go outside for a walk with this person, because I fear he/she will become fully bedridden, and I'm just plain terrified that s/he will give up. Just give up. He/she can't. He/she's elderly, and has eleven years on me.

Do have someone in your life who is an invalid? Is s/he, is the situation, hard to deal with?

How do you manage? Do you ever get angry? In my case that would be disastrous. He/she doesn't take well to expressions of anger. I feel I can't win.

If you're in this situation, will you tell me, please tell me how you cope. I need help.

Thanks.

PS Before you get the wrong idea: I do love this person, deeply. We've known each other for decades.

[Skittles]

1. question

has this person always been like this or have they changed recently or over some time?

[Not Heidi]

3. Hi, Skittles

Dropping the subterfuge of "s/he". It was silly.

It's been gradual. It's come to this point during the space of about a year. She'll be 74 next Monday.

I'm at my wits' end. I'm not the most active person, so I honestly don't know if I could walk with her regularly (and as I said, I fall), but dammit, I'll try.

She sees a therapist once each two weeks. I'm going to ask if I can go to her next appointment and bring this up to him. Maybe he can give me some wisdom, or ideas.

[Skittles]

5. good idea to bring it up with the therapist

definitely may be a mental health issue

[LuckyCharms]

2. Hi, Not Heidi

Is it possible that this person may be suffering from depression?

Depression sometimes presents itself like this.

Or, are there any other underlying medical problems?

[Not Heidi]

4. Hi, Charms

Yes. She is clinically depressed and has been for years. She sees a therapist regularly, and has a psychiatrist who gives her a cocktail of psych meds. When I say cocktail, I mean only a safe collection of three meds that complement each other and are safe together. She does well on these. But hell, if she's still so damned depressed, she's not really doing that well, is she?

Underlying? Yes. She has chronic pain from her neck to her tailbone, and in her hands. She has a pain specialist who relies solely on oxycodone, then on Tylenol. I want her to find a new pain specialist, she won't consider it. She feels this doctor does right by her.

Thanks for your interest and your questions, Charms.