Jokes & riddles thread..

[red dog 1]

Last edited Sun Apr 12, 2026, 11:17 PM - Edit history (1)

What is it that a man does standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does on three legs? (answered)

[Marthe48]

1. I know should I post my answer?

n/t

[red dog 1]

2. Sure!

[Marthe48]

3. Shake hands

[red dog 1]

5. That's it!

[rsdsharp]

4. Pee.

[red dog 1]

6. A dog pees on three legs?

[rsdsharp]

9. A male dog does.

[red dog 1]

11. Yeah, you're right about that.

[Morbius]

7. How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The answer is two, of course; the tricky bit is getting them inside the light bulb.

[underpants]

12. Approved.

[red dog 1]

8. A blonde joke

A blonde's boyfriend gives her a cell phone for her birthday
The next day, she's out shopping and the phone rings
It's her boyfriend, and he asks, "How do you like your new cell phone?"
She tells him, "Oh, I love it. It fits right in my purse, and your voice is so clear, but how did you know I was at Walmart?"

[JoseBalow]

10. Did you hear about the rabbi who didn't charge for circumcisions?

He only took tips.

[underpants]

13. Oooh ooh. A table.

[Wounded Bear]

14. A magician walked down the street and turned into a bar...

[some_of_us_are_sane]

15. What do you call 100 MAGAs ...

at the bottom of the ocean?





-"A start. "

[LogDog75]

16. Three men walk into a bar....

The fourth man ducks.

[Morbius]

17. A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender asks, "What is this, a joke?"

[red dog 1]

18. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised.

[Morbius]

19. Oh yeah?

My wife asked for her lipstick and I gave her a glue stick by mistake.

She still isn't talking to me.

[JoseBalow]

20. A pirate walks into a bar

Limping badly, due to a big car steering wheel and column coming out from the fly of his pants.

The bartender shakes his head and says "wow, that looks very uncomfortable!"

"Arrr," replies the pirate. "It's driving me nuts."

[red dog 1]

21. A rich man & a poor man have the same wedding anniversary, so every year they meet for lunch

Last edited Thu May 21, 2026, 05:25 PM - Edit history (1)

after buying their wives' anniversary presents.
The poor man says to the rich man: "So, what did you get your wife this year?"
The rich man replies: "I got her a Mercedes Benz and a diamond necklace."
The poor man asks: "Why did you get her a Mercedes Benz AND a diamond necklace?"
The rich man replies: "Because if she doesn't like the necklace, she can return it in the Mercedes Benz, and still be happy."
The rich man asks: "So what did you get your wife this year?"
The poor man replies: "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
The rich man asks: "Why did you get her a pair of slippers and a dildo?"
The poor man replies: "Because if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fu*k herself."

[red dog 1]

22. A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

The bus driver says, "My God, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man seated next to her, "The bus driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "You go up there and tell him off...Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."