Lawyer claims lover tried to kill him with her 38DD breasts.

[ohiosmith]

Tim Schmidt, 30, claims 33-year-old Franziska Hansen wanted to kill him out of jealousy at his successful career.

The lawyer alleges his ex tried to smother him with her breasts while ‘pretending it was a sex game’.

Hansen has denied the charge of ‘attempted manslaughter with a weapon’.

Mr Schmidt is quoted by the Daily Mail as telling the German court: ‘The incident happened in May – we were having sex.


Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/918786-lawyers-former-lover-tried-to-kill-him-with-38dd-breasts#ixzz2DG4HlZXn

[hobbit709]

1. for gawd's sake don't let HH see this.

Or there'll be another shitload of complaints in Meta.

[ohiosmith]

2. Oh shit!

[HopeHoops]

4. Hell there will be anyway. I still prefer B cups.

[4th law of robotics]

8. Sexist objectification!

[HopeHoops]

10. What? I don't like hooters the size of watermelons? I like real ones.

Shit, I know women who've had breast REDUCTIONS because the things were causing them back pain. An A cup is sufficient to feed a baby and should be sufficient to satisfy a man. While we're at it, what's the use of a 9 inch penis when a vagina is built to handle a 6" one? Some things just confuse me.

[4th law of robotics]

12. Expressing a preference, as a male, is de facto objectification

While we're at it, what's the use of a 9 inch penis when a vagina is built to handle a 6" one?

Oversized male genitalia (OMG) is a legitimate medical condition not to be mocked.

http://www.amazon.com/Live-Huge-Penis-Richard-Jacob/dp/1594743061/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353868834&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+live+with+a+giant+penis

[HopeHoops]

13. I know. It sounds like it would be painful. Huge breasts sound painful too.

Still, I'm a "more than a handful's a waste" guy.

[jmowreader]

15. How many men are within an inch and a half of nine?

A woman I used to work with liked to brag about her husband's ten-inch dick. There are two great things about having a guy with a ten-inch dick, she said...

The most important thing is that you DON'T have a husband with a ten-inch dick. Women are apparently quite jealous of someone who can snag her modern-day Priapus.

The only-less-slightly important thing about having a husband so equipped is that it won't all go in and if he doesn't hold himself up during sex he's going to injure his dick; the woman therefore can always be assured of not being squished during lovemaking. Being able to breathe is Good.

[HopeHoops]

18. Well, I'm not even close. But my wife's quite happy with it.

I'm totally happy with her too. I'd think a 9" or larger one would be painful. I don't have personal experience in that department, mind you, but it just sounds painful. A sixer can nail the back wall. What's the use of something larger?

[blue neen]

22. After all, that is what is most important...

"sufficient to satisfy a man."

Right.

[HopeHoops]

23. Don't forget "sufficient to satisfy a woman". That's more important.

[blue neen]

24. Here's what seems really important to some people:

Crossing the line.

[HopeHoops]

28. And just how is feeling that satisfying a woman is more important than yourself crossing the line?

[blue neen]

31. Crossing the line.

You know what it means. You don't need anyone here to explain it.

[HopeHoops]

3. Well, those DO look lethal. I prefer B cups.

[progressoid]

5. "...33-year-old Franziska Hansen (not pictured)..."

[4th law of robotics]

6. Good thing they provided a picture

otherwise we'd have been unaware of what large breasts looked like.

[Aristus]

7. Wait, what?

This is the basis of a legal complaint?

What do I need to do to get her angry with me?

[rug]

9. I want to be on this jury.

[lastlib]

20. I'd want to have the weapon tested...

[Baitball Blogger]

11. Sounds like this could have made it into the thread I posted yesterday,

[mythology]

14. Yet one more reason to prefer smaller breasts in my opinion

In addition to the back pain to women that can be caused by large breasts, the fact that they are often just in the way etc.

For me the principle reason is the lower back as I suffer a great deal of back pain myself.

I wonder if that's why my present crush has bad knees like I do?

[nolabear]

16. Oh c'mon. Give us well endowed ladies some love. It takes all kinds and all kinds are fine.

If we'd all get over the "better or worse" thing we'd all get a lot more...well, we'd get a lot more.

[MiddleFingerMom]

17. No human being should be entrusted with that much power.

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[struggle4progress]

19. I bet he'll listen next time somebody says "She has killer breasts"

Some people just seem to be slow learners

[NewJeffCT]

21. While it sounds like a fun way to go out...

I just don't think it's really possible to be smothered to the point of fatal asphyxiation with big boobies.

[Yavin4]

26. "don't think it's really possible to be smothered to the point of fatal asphyxiation with big boobs"

Be kinda fun trying.

[nadine_mn]

25. really? DDs aren't even that big

DD's are not THAT big... once you start getting into the J's and Ks then maybe I will believe this crap.

BTW - I have DDs and if they were lethal my poor husband would have been dead years ago.

[NewJeffCT]

30. well, depends on the rest of the woman

way back in my single days, I dated two women back to back. One was barely 5 feet tall and 100 pounds and she was a 34D. The next woman was almost 6 feet tall and I have no idea what she weighed, but was not as slender as the 5 foot tall woman. But, she was also a 34D. On the short woman, her chest looked huge. On the taller, curvier woman, they looked kind of average unless she wore something really low cut.

[NV Whino]

27. Sounds like a script for Law and Order: SVU

[Dr. Strange]

29. If the bra doesn't fit...

you must acquit.

[edbermac]

32. If breasts are outlawed, then only outlaws will have breasts.

Or something like that.

[Taverner]

33. At least he kept abreast of what was going on...

And I guess those two will never end up as bosom buddies...

[NewJeffCT]

35. They must have been

quite a pair before this incident, though.

[Arugula Latte]

37. I feel they should have nipped this case in the bud.

[Warren DeMontague]

34. It could happen.

They don't call em dirty pillows for nothin'.

[kwassa]

36. This image came to mind.

[TeamPooka]

38. Apparently, Congress has been trying to register and control the wrong set of ladyparts.

[NewJeffCT]

39. Boobies don't kill people

people kill people.

[nolabear]

40. Another senseless motorboat death.

Why do I keep adding to these threads? Why?