What should my wife and I do?

[diabeticman]

as some of you are aware of the Drama Wife and I are having: The apartment we have lived in for 10 years has been condemned and while most are celebrating this holiday season my wife and I had to cancel most of our plans and present buying to locate and move into a new place by the end of the month (though the city is giving us a little extra time at the beginning of the year) to get out of the apartment.


My wife isn't even fully cleaning things that might have been forgotten in closets she is just putting them in boxes so we can get up to the new place especially since the furnance isn't working right and our apartment is now at a temp of 64 degrees. (We used our last few bucks to buy a space heater so we don't freeze when we sleep.) OUr money and time is basically tied up between moving and working (BUT we did take some time to spend time with some friends)

NOW here is the debate:

I want to take everything we want and just leaving the old place a mess --not getting a dumpster to dump out broken stuff we aren't taking with us. I don't care about cleaning the place or anything.

My wife feels a duty (Crazy sense of duty) to try and make this place as neat as possible even if no one is going to live here after us. She was shocked when her mother even said "Don't bother cleaning the place leave whatever you aren't taking for him to deal with."

I think my wife is concerned that he will give us a bad name over town.

I personally want to take our cat litter boxes not empty them for a few days and dump the contents on the floor and grined my foot into a few piles so that they ruin the carpet and floor.

Wife is worried about Karma.

What would you do?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. I'd take my own stuff out, throw away the worst garbage,

but not bother to clean the kitchen, floors, etc., if nobody is going to live there. Don't worry about being neat but don't make an unnecessary mess (that's the karma part).

[In_The_Wind]

2. Take what you want and forget the rest.

You've lost enough.
Don't compound the pain by returning to clean the place out.
Think about how much it's going cost in gas running back to empty a place that will be bulldozed.

Walk away. Don't look back.

[TeamPooka]

3. Karma rules but you don't need to leave it that clean. It's condemned.

But I wouldn't trash it more.

[LoveMyCali]

4. I wouldn't worry about the landlord ruining your reputation

Afterall wouldnn't he have to admit that basically he's a slum lord and that's why you had to move in the first place? Hiring trucks to haul stuff away or getting a dumpster is expensive. I say take what you need and leave the rest.

[TwilightGardener]

5. I would never leave a mess behind. Too much pride.

As others have said, you don't need to vacuum or scrub. But I'd definitely move my stuff out--it's not that hard.

[Frosty1]

8. Time & energy trumps pride.

Pride goeth before a fall!

[OriginalGeek]

11. I'd agree IF the building wasn't condemned.

But those bulldozers don't care one bit what's inside.


I wrote my other response first but after thinking a bit there is ONE case where I would bother at all to take anything - and that is only if there were anything that could be useful if donated to homeless shelter or some other charity type place.


If there is anything that OP and his wife don;t want but might still be useful to someone, grab those and that will even up the karma score for all the cat poop left behind.

[TwilightGardener]

12. That's a good idea--Goodwill, etc. could take some stuff

if it's in good condition. I don't know if condemned = to be torn down, or is just currently uninhabitable for whatever reason and needs to be overhauled.

[Kennah]

6. Take what you want, leave the rest.

The place is condemned. They are already going to have to bring in dumpsters before it's bulldozed. However, I would not intentionally trash anything, even though it's condemned. That's where karma will get ya.

[harmonicon]

7. Just take what you want for your new place.

That is all.

I will add that I wished it was a more open question; I mean, simply, "what should my wife and I do?" with no further explanation. In that case, I was going to suggest you get a pet duck.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

9. what part of condemned does your wife not understand? get out and get out fast and don't look back

you are staying in unsafe conditions. Start the New Year making a New Home.

[OriginalGeek]

10. If it's condemned, isn't it just getting torn down anyway?

There is no way I would spend even a second cleaning a place I'm being forced to move from. The only bad name in town should be on the owner who let his property deteriorate to the point of condemnation.

There is a time and place for strong (and admirable) sense of duty. This time and place is not it.

[politicat]

13. I got condemned out of a place once. GTHO ASAP.

Condemning ain't easy. If the building isn't safe for habitation, then every minute you're there increases your chance that the reason for the condemnation will bite your butt. Your health and safety trump everything else.

You get out of the way of a wild fire or a flood. A hazardous building is no different.

When I was condemned out, there was no discussion about security deposits -- it would have taken suing to get money from the turnip known as my former landlord's heart. Even if there's a chance you'll get yours, really, weigh the cost of an ER visit against whatever your deposit is.

[Orrex]

16. Terrific post

Well stated from start to finish.

[patricia92243]

14. She is the one wanting to do the cleaning. Stay out of it.

[Orrex]

15. If I were being forced out of a condemned building in a few days...

The first thing I'd do is stop using my garbage can.

Your wife's sense of duty is laudable in a way but is sorely misplaced in this instance. At the same time, it's understandable; it sounds as though she wants to maintain control over one small aspect of this unfortunate and stressful situation.

If it's not harming anything (i.e., not getting in the way of other necessary tasks) then I'd say that there's no harm in her tidying up a bit. But if it prevents more vital work from being done, then she should focus her efforts on helping to get you two into the new place.

Good luck in your time of upheaval. Moving is stressful under the best of circumstances; you have my every sympathy.

[Major Nikon]

17. There's really only one thing you can do

[Joe Shlabotnik]

20. my advice is to start drinking heavily.

[we can do it]

18. Just take what you want and need. Save your time and energy.

Enjoy the holiday the best you can!

[WCGreen]

19. Have a party and trash the place....