Help with my hemostat!

[Ikonoklast]

I was picking the hair out of my nose with it, and I accidentally clamped the damn thing down on my right nostril, and now my eyes are watering so badly I can't see what I'm doing in order to loosen it.

Can one of you doofuses get this damn thing off without tearing half my nose off my face?

[siligut]

1. Looks like you are going to have to call the whambulance

Just be prepared for shame and humiliation.

[Ikonoklast]

5. Note to self: siligut gets coal next year.

[siligut]

6. So what did you get me this year?

Hmmmm? Oh, that's right, a big fat nothing.

[Ikonoklast]

12. I got you a fruitcake.

If you keep it up, next year I'll get you two fruitcakes.

[siligut]

28. Nope, you're doin' it wrong

See here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018264585#post18

TYIA

[siligut]

29. Or this would be good too

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018264436#post8

See? These include happy wishes and kisses. Maybe more of those and you wouldn't be trying to pull nose hairs with a hemostat.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Hey, I'm a nurse, and I'm used to hemostats!

Hold still while I get a good grip on it...

Ah.

There! It's open, and you're free. Have a kleenex while you're at it.

Next time, leave the damn hair!

[Ikonoklast]

7. Oh, sure, like that makes up for the dozen or so you 'misplaced' over the years.

Bunch of people on this Earth wondering why they can't get through a metal detector without the damn thing beeping.

[pinboy3niner]

3. Count your blessings

It could be worse.

&feature=player_embedded

[Ikonoklast]

9. I suppose I could set myself on fire. That would be worse, too.

AND THIS HELPS ME HOW, EXACTLY?????







I bet you're the kind of guy that when his buddy falls and breaks his arm, you go over and instead of helping him ypu show him your scars and tell him how lucky he is, that bone sticking out of his forearm isn't so bad, it was a clean break, not like mine, see, look here at this.....

[pinboy3niner]

19. Nah, I saw that Peggy had fixed it

Otherwise, my helpful reply would have been, "I HATE it when that happens!"

[Ikonoklast]

20. You forgot the rest of your post.

Otherwise, my helpful reply would have been, "I HATE it when that happens!", because when it does I end up laughing so hard I get a stitch in my side.


And those really hurt.


Owwie.

[Iterate]

4. Cut the zipper below the area zipped and the teeth just separate.

You're welcome.

I just learned that. I wish people wouldn't keep this shit secret.

[Ikonoklast]

10. You are helping the wrong person with this advice.

My junk isn't caught in anything, what do think, I'm some sort of idiot?

I have a hemostat stuck on my nose!


Wait.


Uh.

[cbrer]

8. Sorry, this is going to require surgery

And our budget got cut last year.

But we still have pocket knives and cotton balls!

[Ikonoklast]

11. Pocket knives always come in handy.

Sorry to hear about your balls, though.

Is it a congenital condition, or a tragic childhood accident?

[cbrer]

13. Neither! They're a spare set

That make less noise when they're slapping up against... uh, what is the content rating for this site?

[Ikonoklast]

18. In your case, it's rated in Deniers.

So soft and smooth.

[cbrer]

21. YOU OWE ME A KEYBOARD! nt

[Turbineguy]

14. What was it doing up there? Hmmm??

You know what those things are for. They are for pulling yourself up with your bootstraps (if you are an old white guy) or for getting that last toke off a joint. That's why all you liberals want Obamacare. So you can do stupid shit and have the government pick up the tab. So go ahead and rip half your nose off. It will send a message to others.

[Ikonoklast]

16. Well, before the tragic Propane Torch Incident of 1978, I used another method to remove nasal hair.

And scolding those in need of assistance is so remindful of, hmmm, let me think here for a moment Ebeneezer, it will come to me....

[JoeyT]

15. A metabo should get that right off.

If you try it, make sure you record it.

[Ikonoklast]

17. Just how many hands do you think I have, anyway?

You must think that I'm some sort of carnival side-show attraction or something.

[JoeyT]

22. Good point.

An acetylene torch will take it off, and rid you of nose hair at the same time.

[Ikonoklast]

23. See Post #16.

I still have flashbacks...


But, I'm willing to give it a try again.

I'm a little older now, and with the medication the palsy only bothers me when I try to concentrate on fine motor movements with my hands.


Hey, can I can practice on you first until I get the hang of it?

Because that would be really helpful.

[JoeyT]

24. Sure, why not.

I'm almost used to it by now. First time I ever used one I stood under a carbon pipe full of rust and cut straight up into it. People that think I can't dance would've been surprised by the moves I busted that day.

[Ikonoklast]

25. The 'no eyebrow' look is all the rage these days. The kids are all doing it.

Doesn't look good on you, though.

You just look really surprised all the time.

[Bake]

26. That's not what they're for, dammit!!

They're actually used for holding certain burning items so you don't singe your fingers. Or so I'm told!



Oh, and good luck with the nose thing.

Merry Christmas!

Bake

[Ikonoklast]

27. Look here, last time I took advice from some random stoner (not you, of course), I ended up

driving a carload of dumbasses twenty-five miles in one of the worst blizzards to ever hit NE Ohio at three in the morning in order to watch a telethon live from the auditorium it was being broadcast from, because watching it on tv from a nice, warm house wasn't 'good enough'.











Actually, it was kinda cool, since we were the only audience there they kept panning us with the camera when we applauded the lousy live acts they had for entertainment like madmen.

I think we were making them laugh pretty hard.

My one buddy kept mooning the phone bankers on stage from our seats in the balcony.

The cops that were there doing security and other cops that came in hiding out from the howling storm outside didn't even care.

I think half of them were drinking anyway, they were laughing every time he did it.


Ah, the good old days....