What does it mean to be a "Man"?

[Taverner]

Obviously testicles and the y chromosome....

But in a more analogical sense...

What, to you, makes a man...a man?

[onehandle]

1. Forgetting to compliment your wife's new haircut. nt

[HarveyDarkey]

10. That is, only if you noticed your wife's new haircut

[hay rick]

20. A man never notices.

[kwassa]

23. I used to cut my wife's hair. Can't beat that for manliness.

[FBaggins]

2. A common misunderstanding

It's often used in relation to being a child/boy... but is taken to be a comment on man vs. woman.

Then of course... you need to ask what it means to be a real man.

[Taverner]

4. OK...what does it take to be a real man?

[Gidney N Cloyd]

3. Go ask your godfather...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. a couple of YouTubes for your edification

as far as possible without surrender

[dr.strangelove]

6. Other than the anatomical

It means you have to drink alcohol, while killing animals with large firearms, while at a strip club, while getting a sexual service performed on you by a woman, that you just evaluated solely on her boobs, while making fun of the less athletic guys ...

Really, I think it means something different to everyone. But to me, being a man is something one must earn. It is being something that can be strong when needed, and soft when needed. For example, when a child is scared, you must do what you can to make the child feel safe, but when that same child has a "boo boo" you have to be a hugging machine that can clean a cut and get on a band-aid without breaking stride and while wiping tears. It is being someone who stands in the face of unjust adversity and never waivers, even if its far easier to give up. I think the problem is that it is a mistake to use a sexual identifier to describe these attributes, because I also think these describe being a woman. Or at least, a "real man" and a "real woman." Anyway, my attempt at a joke above is true. some think being a man is about tough hollywood engineered gender roles, and the same for being a woman. But in the "real" world, a "real" man and a "real" woman are almost exactly the same.

[Wait Wut]

7. No clue.

After 48 years, I'm still fuzzy on what it takes to be a woman.

[Bucky]

14. The criteria are much easier to assess. Here, take this simple test:

Are you a woman?

1. Can you bring home the bacon?
{ } Yes
{ } No


2. Fry it up in a pan?
{ } Yes
{ } No


3. And never, never, never let me forget I'm a man?
{ } Yes
{ } No


4. Can you put the wash on the line?
{ } Yes
{ } No


5. Can you feed the kids, get dressed, pass out the kisses, and get to work by five to nine?
{ } Yes
{ } No


==========

If you answered yes to 4 or more of those questions, then you are a wooooooman! [font face="arial narrow" size="3" color="#cacaca"](Enjoli!)[/font]

[Wait Wut]

19. Damn. I failed.

I only answered 'yes' to the first two. #5 was borderline.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

30. Get a clothes dryer, lady!!!

[Initech]

8. Drinking a less manly light beer, apparently.

Although in every other country in the world you'd get laughed out of the bar for requesting a light beer.

[Denninmi]

9. Actually, a good question.

IMHO, a "real man" has little to do with machismo, and a lot to do with treating others, especially their partners and children, with respect and dignity, being a leader who sets a good example, doing the right thing, and making life as good as possible and happy for himself and others.

My father berated me as a teen for his perception of me that I wasn't sufficiently masculine in his eyes. It hurt. I turned out a lot more of a real man than he ever was. He was extremely cruel and abusive to my mother and me, and sexually deviant as well (sorry, TMI). I had a great example of how not to act, and I am happy to say I have achieved my goal of being as opposite as possible from him.

[mythology]

25. Does that then differ from just being a good human being regardless of gender?

I've become dissatisfied with our language in that there isn't a good genderless term for being that sort of person that would also differentiate that there are many people who are of adult age who don't meet that standard.

[Denninmi]

29. Nope, I would say its the same for both genders.

English just doesn't have a neuter gender as some languages do.

[Tobin S.]

11. Knowing that you are strong

but inhibiting the desire to demonstrate it.

[MiddleFingerMom]

12. Not being ashamed to have people see you cry during the first three Rambo movies.

.
.
.
It's OK, man. Let it out.
.
.
.

[Bucky]

13. To not want to dissect our relationship dynamics every time I show up five minutes late.

Oops, another unintentionally autobiographical post. I need to start being more discreet.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

17. So you finally posted. Why do I feel you're not working as hard on this thread as the rest of us?

[littlemissmartypants]

27. He has been like this

since he found out he is not getting the pony.

[trof]

15. I dunno. I was taught to be a 'gentleman'.

A gentleman opened doors for ladies and lights their cigarettes.
And mixed and served their drinks.

A gentleman always assisted her with her wrap and walked on the street side of the sidewalk.
I believe this was to shield her from possible mud spray from passing carriages.


A gentleman always let the lady order first in a restaurant.
A TRUE gentleman asked the lady what she will have and then HE gave the order to the waiter.
"The lady will have the Dover sole and I will have the sirloin."

A gentleman tasted the wine to make sure that it is acceptable.

A gentleman tipped his hat to ladies on the street, took his hat off if a lady was sharing the elevator, and would NEVER EVER eat a meal with his hat on.

A gentleman greeted another man (gentle or otherwise) with eye contact, a firm handshake, and would introduce himself with his FULL NAME.
If his counterpart was a stranger, met at a cocktail party, who offered no name in the exchange of greetings, a gentleman would gently inquire "And your name is...?"

A gentleman always offered his seat to a lady on any crowded public conveyance.
He carried her shopping bags or luggage.

When calling for a lady, a gentleman always walked up to her door and knocked.
Sitting in his auto and honking was verboten.

A gentleman 'watched his language' with a lady.
He did not curse or offend her with lewd jokes.

Oh yes...when a lady said "STOP", he stopped.
Because he was a gentleman.
And she was a lady.

You may have noticed that this post is written in the past tense.
Yes, but that's the way I was raised a long long time ago.

[Xipe Totec]

16. If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

[petronius]

33. It's not nearly as detailed, but I always liked the way Housman put it:

The troubles of our proud and angry dust
Are from eternity, and shall not fail.
Bear them we can, and if we can we must.
Shoulder the sky, my lad, and drink your ale.

[Dash87]

18. Not being a machismo tool or cardboard cut-out personality is a good start.

99% of the population fails terribly at it (the female equivalent of machismo would be an insistence on doing stereotypically female things, and looking down on anyone else who doesn't do them).

[Throd]

21. Changing your car's oil by yourself.

Even if you can afford to pay others to do it for you.

[handmade34]

22. no analogies

purely testicles, et al

continuing to divide people by artificial criteria is crazy... to me, man is the term to describe us of the human race... some of us have just have more testosterone than others

continuing the division only keeps women from not being equal

[caraher]

24. We think it's getting better but nobody's really sure...

[2theleft]

26. the willingness to kill all the creepy crawlies that get in the house

(or remove them to outside, either way is fine).

[littlemissmartypants]

28. I would really like to know.

If I got some really excellent coaching and a well fitted wardrobe I think I could pull it off. So I am a little curvy. Try to overlook my weaknesses and give me a chance. I know it is a man's world and there is a lot of stuff I believe I could get done faster if I was just a man. . . Don't laugh. I'm serious.

[Dr. Strange]

31. I think what makes a man is...

the power in your hands; your quest for glory. You know, giving it all you've got, to fight to the top, so everyone can know your story.

[DryHump]

32. I regard a man

as someone who is humble and direct; not afraid of the truth. A fucking funny, honest, compassionate man (woman) is the Buddha.