Very short joke..about...hell.. #14

[Stuart G]

A young lady came home from a date rather sad. She told her mother,
"He proposed to me an hour ago."

"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.

"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there is a hell..


Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.

[Renew Deal]

1. .

[AlecBGreen]

2. A very long joke ... about... the Pope! (**cussing**)

The Pope decides to visist a small monastary in Romania. Three monks are put in charge of the welcoming party.

Monk 1 says, "We gotta cook him a great meal! Ill go fishing cuz I heard he likes fresh fish."

Monk 1 goes out on the river with a local fisherman and lands a huge fish. The local says "Wow! Look at the size of that sonofabitch!"

Monk 1 "Whoa! Im a man of God! Dont use that language around me!"

Local: "No no no, thats the name of the fish! Its a Sunnavuhbitch!" Monk 1 says "Ahhh! OK!"

Monk 1 returns and says to Monk 2: "Hey! Look at this big ol Sunnavuhbitch I caught! Clean it, will ya?"

Monk 2 says "Brother whats gotten into you!? Ive never heard you curse before!"

Monk 1 says ""No no no, thats the name of the fish! Its a Sunnavuhbitch!"

Monk 2 says "Ahhh!" and proceeds to gut & scale the Sunnavuhbitch.

After he finishes it, he takes it to Monk 3 and says "Hey, look at this nice, fresh Sunnavuhbitch! Cook it up!"

Monk 3 is shocked "Whoa whoa whoa! Whats with the potty mouth!?"

Monk 2 says ""No no no, thats the name of the fish! Its a Sunnavuhbitch!" Monk 3 nods and cooks the fish.

That night the Pope arrives and enjoys the wonderful meal. He thanks the monks profusely for their kindness and hospitality.

Pope: "My, that sure was a tasty meal!"

Monk 1: "Well I caught the Sunnavuhbitch"
Monk 2: "And I cleaned the Sunnavuhbitch!"
Monk 3: "And I cooked the Sunnavuhbitch!"

The Popes jaw drops in astonishment. Then he slowly smiles, puts his feet up on the table and says "Ya know what? You mothafucka's is ALL RIGHT!"

[LeftishBrit]

3. In the early 90s...

Britain had an awful Education Secretary, John Patten, who, among much else, once attributed juvenile delinquency and school indiscipline to the fact that *people don't believe in Hell any more*. I remember that my comment on that was: 'Get John Patten as your Education Secretary - and you too can believe in Hell!'

[LeftishBrit]

4. Maggie Thatcher (or substitute individual of your choice) died and knocked at the gate of Heaven

St Peter, after finding out who it was, said, 'I'm sorry; wrong floor; please go downstairs!'

About half an hour later, there was an absolutely frantic knocking at the gate, and St Peter was most surprised to see Satan himself, complete with horns and tail, and looking most distraught.

'I demand political asylum!' he exclaimed.