Sigh. Just got word that my only aunt has passed away

[LiberalEsto]

Sorry if I'm maundering on .. I'm still trying to process this all. I got a letter today from my cousin Anne in Estonia saying that her mother, dear Aunt Aino, passed away on January 27. She was a retired high school physics teacher, wonderfully intelligent and cheerful to be around, though we only enjoyed three visits in her lifetime. She was 84.

The first time I saw her was when my father and Uncle Tip bought plane tickets to fly her to the US back in the late 1970s, when Estonia was still occupied by the Russians. She was dark haired and blue-eyed like my father and uncle, and full of energy. She was absolutely astonished at all the merchandise in American stores and supermarkets, and she bought all kinds of things, jeans, bottles of vanilla flavoring, anything she could think of, to bring home for family and friends. When she left, she was wearing several layers of clothes in case the Soviet customs inspectors decided to confiscate her suitcase for themselves.

Back in Estonia during the Soviet years, the stores were nearly empty, and people lined up for hours to buy basic necessities. I used to ship baby formula and nursing bottles to my cousin when she was unable to nurse her youngest child, because formula, bottles and rubber nipples were unavailable there. My cousin mailed me pencil outlines of her children's feet so I could send them shoes.

In 2003 I managed to scrape together enough money to visit them in Estonia. It was so great hearing stories from her about my grandparents, whom I'd never seen, and about my own father before he became soured by war, refugee camp and his struggles as an immigrant in the U.S. My father and I never got along, and I knew almost nothing of his family history -- all I know I learned from my aunt. We pored over old pictures, and she told me about her father, my grandfather, who was a surgeon for a major railroad connecting Estonia and Latvia, and my grandmother, who was a nurse.

When I went back to Estonia in 2010, I brought my brother, because he would never have had the money to go there on his own. Aunt Aino was very happy to see him and regaled both of us with more family stories. We visited the cemetery where our grandparents and great-uncle are buried. I am thankful now that my brother had the opportunity to visit with her; the only previous time he'd spent time with her was on her visit in 1979.

This past September Aunt Aino's brother Albert, known as Tip, passed away in New Jersey and I had the task of notifying our relatives overseas. Tip cut himself off from everyone in our small family years ago, and I barely knew him. My father died 25 years ago. Aino's only son, Arno, died in 2009 at age 44. Now my biological relatives consist of my two daughters, my brother, my cousin, her three kids and her late brother's two kids and one grandkid, though there are any number of more distant relatives scattered around Estonia. (My mother was an only child and all her family is long gone.)

I am going to miss Aunt Aino.

[Helen Reddy]

1. Hugs to you. n/t

[LiberalEsto]

2. Thanks, Helen

[ohiosmith]

3. Sad stuff in the Lounge today. Peace be with you LE.

[LiberalEsto]

7. thank you, ohiosmith

at least I have the comfort of knowing that my aunt lived a long, full life

Like all of us, I feel terrible about graywarrior's nephew and his friends, who were so young.

[In_The_Wind]

4. I am so very sorry for your loss, LiberalEsto.

[LiberalEsto]

8. Thank you, ITW...

you're a sweetheart

[In_The_Wind]

9. we all need to feel love

I know I do when I give, I receive love because I give love.

[LeftofObama]

5. So sorry for your loss!

[LiberalEsto]

11. Thank you, LeftofObama

[tavernier]

6. Hey my Let sister!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My dad is very ill and when he passes I will only have one relative left who is older than myself, and that is my aunt in Latvia. I wish I had the means and the time to visit her every year, but that's not to be.

I don't think of her or help her as often as I should. You humble me.

I'll try harder to be a better niece. Thanks for setting the bar higher.



Lily

[LiberalEsto]

10. Oh my dear tavernier, I'm so sorry about your father being ill

Honestly I don't think I did much of anything for my aunt except bring my brother to see her... it was my aunt's daughter, my cousin Anne, whom I helped during the hard Soviet times.

I was grateful to have the chance to know my aunt. She gave me a very different picture of my father when he was young and fun-loving, a prankster, and a talented actor in community theater in Estonia. I only knew him as a sullen or raging parent.

The best thing I think you and I can do is be bridges between the generations and the nations. Learn what we can about our ancestors, and pass the knowledge on to our descendants, who may not know enough of the language to research things themselves.

[Honeycombe8]

12. I'm so sorry, Esto. She sounds like she was a wonderful and beloved person.

It's so painful when loved ones pass on. And years down the road, others will be mourning that their uncle Esto, or Aunt Honeycomb, has passed away.

How wonderful to be remembered and mourned and missed. We can only hope.

[LiberalEsto]

13. Thank you, dear Honeycombe8

Yes, Aunt Aino will be missed by many, including her former classmates, colleagues and students as well as relatives.

I'm sorry to say that I'm not an uncle, and never will be one. Won't be an aunt either since my only brother has no children, and won't have any due to a medical condition. However I am a mom to two daughters in their late 20s, and an aunt-by-marriage to my husband's 23 nephews and nieces.

[Loryn]

14. So sorry for your loss.

The loss of Aunt Aino brought tears to me. My thoughts are with you.

[LiberalEsto]

16. Thank you Loryn

[CrazyOrangeCat]

15. I'm sorry for your loss; she must have been an inspiration.

An interesting story. Sounds like you really helped your cousin. Trying to imagine getting a letter with outlines of the children's feet . . .

It's good that you got to visit them in Estonia. I have a friend who visited Prague right after the Czech Republic became a free country. Amazing stories from behind the fallen Iron Curtain.

[LiberalEsto]

18. Thank you, CrazyOrangeCat

One of the wonderful things about Aunt Aino was her incredible skill in mathematics and physics, as well as in teaching. She tutored her grandchildren extensively. Her eldest grandson competed in mathematics and computer science all over the globe (Iceland, Korea, the U.S.), including in the International Math Olympiad. He did very well and won a number of medals. My cousin's children all graduated from high school with high honors. One's an environmental scientist, one is getting his masters degree in economics, and one is in medical school. I wish I could have had the benefit of her instruction, because I'm lousy at math, but it wasn't possible because of the distance and the Iron Curtain.

[fizzgig]

17. i am so sorry for your loss

thank you for sharing about aunt aino, she must have had incredible stories to tell.

peace and love to you and yours

[LiberalEsto]

19. Thank you, fizzgig