Anyone here an expert on Swiss women, or Swiss dating?

[harmonicon]

I had a great "not a date" which really was a date tonight with a lovely woman, and she's already sent me a message from the train to say she had a good time (to which I reciprocated). The thing is, the Swiss make protestant farmer Americans look like the children of Bacchus; they're very reserved is what I'm saying. We've made tentative plans to go out again, which is nice. I just don't want to come off as too forward while still letting her know that I'm interested in more than friendship... urgh.. I'm used to English women, who are quite the opposite. Ok, I'm a lost cause. Never mind.

[kwassa]

1. English women are more outgoing than Swiss?

I thought the English invented inexpressiveness. It is a quality of many Northern Europeans, however. It is my heritage.

It is better to be too forward than to miss the opportunity due to lack of action on your part. You will kick yourself forever if you don't pursue this.

I have no expertise on Swiss women, however, the only one I know is an English woman who has become Swiss! She would fit in the very reserved category, however.

[harmonicon]

2. That's a weird stereotype about the English that's totally wrong.

Well, I'm sure it's true about a certain class of English woman. I mean, this girl I was out with tonight said a girl she went to a private high school with (a school in Cambridge) said, "I just can't see marrying anyone without a title." My experience however is with working-class people in Yorkshire. People in Yorkshire are like Americans' stereotypes about Italians or something - they're very touchy, warm, loud/enthusiastic, etc.

[kwassa]

4. It might indeed be a social class thing.

though when we could briefly afford a nanny for our daughter, we had a English working-class young woman as nanny. She was excellent, but also very, very reserved.

I had a great discussion with a Japanese friend about how similar English culture was to Japanese culture in that fabled reserve. She thought the two very similar.

[harmonicon]

5. Well, there's a big difference between work and social situations. That's for sure.

Kids in school will call a teacher "Sir," for instance. That seems very formal compared to US standards, but I found that social situations were different.

[talkingmime]

7. Even if the teacher's a woman?

I know what you meant.

[DFW]

3. No clue

My wife is German. I run down to Switzerland all the time for work, and although I get the impression the women there are indeed reserved, finding out would cost me my unreserved German wife, and THAT I am not willing to risk!

[sendero]

23. Of all of the qualities I would look for in a woman.

... "reserved" is not in the top 1,000,000.

[DFW]

24. It is said that still waters run deep

So who knows? The Swiss as a whole are pretty content to be Swiss, and it can't be just the money and the chocolate.

[sendero]

25. yeah..

.... I suppose. In any event I guess it would be wrong to judge a book by it's cover

Here's to both of you being just what the other needed

[talkingmime]

6. "You might even go to...Amsterdam. Just be careful. European women are...different."

"How would you know, Dad?"

"James Bond films mostly."

- From "The Out of Towners", the Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn version

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. so then, Swiss women are not seen as individuals

but, in general terms ... this woman was nothing to stand out to you as an individual?

If you are interested in her as a person then contact her.

If not, move on.

my 2 cents which, is pretty much worthless in today's economy.

[harmonicon]

9. I'm pretty sure she's an individual, and - as I've said - we plan to see each other again.

That being said, there are definite cultural differences to which I am not privy, having come to Switzerland a few months ago as a 34 year old man. You see, while people are all individuals, each country is also different, has its own cultural norms, etc. Therefore, an individual brought up in one culture will behave differently in social situations than if that same individual were brought up in a different culture. I thought this would be assumed when reading my post.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. you know they spell ass u me - anyway - if the relationship develops I would think

cultural differences would be discussed and dissolved and mutual understanding would be found.

just my thoughts.

[sir pball]

11. Can't speak to Swiss women specifically or dating them even more specifically

But the Swiss people in general are extraordinarily rigorously procedural - I've noticed, at least in the South, if you don't start speaking to anybody, any time, for any reason (even to make a purchase in a store) with "Bonjour! Ca va?", they will very politely stop you midsentence to say just that, to which you must reply "Bonjour! Ca va bien! Et vous?" to which THEY have to reply "Bien, merci!" and only THEN are you allowed to converse. Makes the Germans look downright loose and playful.

I'd suggest finding a Swiss woman you aren't interested in who understands your social situation and can coach you through all this. I mean, I could be totally wrong - maybe with matters of the heart the Swiss like two dates and then pure hedonism, but somehow I don't get that feeling..

[harmonicon]

12. I'm in the north, but I think it's basically the same.

Even though almost everyone speaks English, I'm trying to learn at least enough Swiss German for those sort of pleasantries you mention.

You make a good suggestion, but - it being hard to meet people at all - I'm not sure how to implement it.

[kwassa]

17. Gruezi!

It is how everyone says hello.

My friends are in Bern. They were actually French-speakers working for the Swiss national library in Lausanne who were transferred to Bern, and had to learn a lot more German.

[harmonicon]

18. Gruezi!

That's one of the few things I know. I was told that my pronunciation is good, which is nice to know, but I'd rather have a terrible accent and actually be able to have a conversation. Saying "hello" and being able to tell someone what your name is doesn't do much when the cashier at the grocery store is giving you dozens of sentences about a bag of frozen peas with a hole in it.

[datasuspect]

13. just treat her with respect

and be yourself.

[harmonicon]

15. I can't help but be myself.

I'd be terrible at pretending I'm something I'm not.

[ashling]

14. I like a blend

[struggle4progress]

16. I bought Swiss cheese once. What a rip-off! It was full of holes. Really!

You think you're buying cheese but you end up paying for empty space

Well, back then I knew this lady who I knew was from Switzerland (cuz her name was Geneva) so I tried to talk to her about what a rip-off Swiss cheese was. I'm a fast learner, and boy! did I learn my lesson that day! She acted like I was crazy, and she told a bunch of other people that too!

Never, never complain about Swiss cheese to anybody named Geneva

That's all I want to say for now. I hope it's helpful

[Tuesday Afternoon]

27. mos def. helped me. lol. so glad you have a generous nature.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

19. The only Swiss woman I know is from the Italian-speaking part, and she is

very outgoing and expressive. Of course, it may have something to do with growing up speaking Italian.

[BainsBane]

20. I bet right about now

You're sorry you bothered asking.

I have no advice. I do wish you luck, however.

[darkangel218]

21. I have dated a swiss guy for a short tiime years ago.

He was cold, cheap and very negative overall. Bad experience.
Of course though, I can't judge the whole country by one person. Hopefully his personality was not a swiss thing :p

[harmonicon]

22. Oh, dear!

Well, I think they're famously quite "distant," which is maybe similar to cold. I'm sorry you had a bad experience.

I don't know about being cheap. Things here are expensive. I'd only been out to a bar here once before, and then I wasn't buying. I was a little surprised that they don't tip at the bar (the English don't either, but in some other European countries you tip at least a bit), but the drinks are insanely expensive, which I don't entirely get. A bottle of bourbon from the store costs something like 30 Francs, for a fifth. How then does a single measured shot of bourbon cost 12 Francs? I know a lot of people in the bar trade, so I understand markups, but not like that. Maybe this sort of thing makes people cheap? I don't know.

[irisblue]

26. as a fairly reserved American woman,

and being 'of a certain age', I'd like you to notice ~she's~ already contacted you, ~and~ you're going out again with her, so you're doing very well. Enjoy the butterflies and take your time to enjoy this.