I could've died or sumthin' just now.
It's a beautiful day here in central AZ, so I was out back by the creek enjoying a few drags off half a cigarette. There were these two hummingbirds flitting about when one...lit? alit?...screw it...sat on a branch about 4 feet away. I stood there with a slight smile on my face enjoying the zen moment when the damned air conditioner that was right next to me turned on.
I jumped about 2 feet off the ground, tossed the cigarette into my hair, brushed it out and it almost went down my shirt. In my panic to keep from burning alive like those poor women in Salem, I tripped over the step and almost rolled down a steep embankment into the very dry, very rocky and very dead tree filled creek.
The silver lining? I have a cold and can't smell the singed hair.
TGIF...1.75 hours and counting.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Stop smoking!
I'm glad you're OK...
I'm glad you're okay, too, my dear CAPeggy!
When I was about 6 I was going to Sunday School with the neighbor girl so my parents could recover from their hangovers in peace. It was summer and I was wearing my brand new sandals that I picked out myself.
Somehow, and no one ever figured out how...I stepped on a very, very long nail and it went all the way through my foot. The crazy teacher lady actually made the sign of the cross over me and scared me half to death. What was really bizarre, it didn't hurt. I sat there and stared at it for a minute before I called crazy teacher lady over to help me take it out. I took it as a sign that I wasn't meant to be a Christian. 
I like how you think! 
Don't doctors recommend inhaling along with exhaling? Although...it could make for a fun headrush! 
my brother meditates, I don't.
Yes, inhaling AND exhaling recommended!
...is an auto upholsterer. He gets husbands in occasionally that want him to fix burn holes in back seats...quickly, before the wife finds out.
I'm glad you're okay. I hope the hummingbirds are okay. Your hair will grow back. Your cold will get better, and
Thank you. The hummingbirds flew away to a safer place without crazy redheads doing smoke dances on the edges of creeks. My cold is 'getting there' and...
if you are you're probably a long lost cousin of mine.
Haven't heard that one in years (luckily it's on youtube...) 
...but, he was damned hot.
paper filled with dried plant matter are the devil's playground...
One reason why I gave up smoking.
OK, so there was the time I lit my long bangs on fire when my Bic lighter was set a little too high.
Then there was the time I set the side of my hair on fire soon after it had been permed (and was airy and fluffy, like dried tinder).
The time I was driving my VW bug and, forgetting I was holding a cigarette, smoothed back my hair and hit the lit end on the ceiling of the car, and it went down my coat sleeve, almost causing me to have an accident.
Then there was the time I was sitting in the bathroom smoking a cigarette and threw it in the toilet from the front, nearly causing a brush fire (if you get my drift!)
If it doesn't get you one way, it gets you another...
I've had every one of those experiences...even the VW (mine was red!)...but not that one!
Yes, I have cats, but they're at home. The hummingbirds did look suspicious, now that I think about it.
Got it going good, I was the first. Had Some flames shouting high in the air. Set all the hair on the left side of my head on fire.
By the time it got evened out I was no longer a hippy.
