How do you treat gunshot injuries?

[struggle4progress]

Ambroise Paré’s account in the Oeuvres of 1575 of new methods of treating gunshot wounds
http://www.jameslindlibrary.org/illustrating/articles/ambroise-pares-account-in-the-oeuvres-of-1575-of-new-methods

Cops: Mom checked medical website after son shot
http://www.fresnobee.com/2013/05/10/3294608/cops-mom-checked-medical-website.html

1 vote, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	First hunt down and shoot whoever shot you: this will make you feel better, unless you shot yourself
	0 (0%)
	Argue with your SO about whose fault it was this time, and remember not to discuss the past
	0 (0%)
	Pour boiling oil into the wound to neutralize the gunpowder and stop the bleeding
	0 (0%)
	Call 911. You can pray while waiting for the ambulance, if you like
	0 (0%)
	Check the internet for advice! There's always lots of good information there!
	1 (100%)
	Apply soothing medicinal herbs to the gun that caused the injury
	0 (0%)
	Drink lots of tequila to dull the pain, then cut out the bullet with a dull bowie knife
	0 (0%)
	Leave a message on your doctor's answering machine explaining why you need an appointment sometime this month
	0 (0%)
	Just try really hard to avoid getting shot
	0 (0%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[denbot]

1. I'll take "Tequila and a dull Bowie knife" for a thousand Alex.

I'd personally preferred to answer "bleed profusely, while listening for harp music", but that wasn't offered as a choice.

[struggle4progress]

16. I can't help with the bleeding profusing part, but here's some harp music

[jakeXT]

2. Cocaine and super glue sounds nice

http://www.survivalistboards.com/showthread.php?t=198873

http://www.wikihow.com/Treat-a-Bullet-Wound

[struggle4progress]

7. "But officer! I always carry cocaine, in case I get shot! See? Here's my superglue!"

[Lady Freedom Returns]

3. Drink lots of tequila to dull the pain, then cut out the bullet with a dull bowie knife because ...

It has something to do with TEQUILA!

Everything is better with...

[struggle4progress]

14. !

[Bertha Venation]

4. the eggs of 1575?

[struggle4progress]

8. They just don't make eggs like the used to

[HappyMe]

5. Apply a band-aid.

Make an appointment with the doctor for some time in the future.

[struggle4progress]

6. Do you know which work best -- the ones with Snoopy or Hello Kitty or Sponge Bob?

It's good to have the right product on hand!

[HappyMe]

9. From the research I have

read, Snoopy is the recommended band-aid.

[pinboy3niner]

10. "There's nothing that a good bleeding won't cure"

--Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/theodoric-of-york/n8661/

[struggle4progress]

12. Theodoric taught me everything I know about medicine!

[OmahaBlueDog]

11. Have you ever played the coputer game "Oregon Trail"

Stuff like this comes up all the time, and it's always a multiple choice question:

"Jethro has been shot! What do you want to do?"

a) Apply astringent and antiseptic?
b) Bandage the wound?
c) Administer laudanam?
d) Keep going?

Certain choices may be greyed out -- like if you don't happen to own any laudanam or antiseptic on your wagon.

[struggle4progress]

13. I actually didn't know they had computers back on the old Oregon Trail! Live and learn, y'know!

[pinboy3niner]

15. They needed them to look up recipes

Not everyone has the natural culinary talents of a Hannibal Lecter.

[struggle4progress]

23. Vinegar Lemonade!

Mix 1 to 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar into a 12 oz. glass of water. Stir in 2 tablespoons of sugar or to taste ...
http://personal.my180.net/thesmiths/oregontrailrecipes.html

[Dash87]

17. Depends where they're hit, in my uninformed, useless opinion on this matter.

I used to know a heck of a lot more about this, but I'm no more informed than anyone else (and a bit more dangerous, probably, because I have heard little 'tid-bits' of what you should do without any formal training).

[struggle4progress]

21. I remember if it's a head wound you're either supposed to put a tourniquet around the neck

or else you're not supposed to do that: you can always look it up on the web if you need to be sure

[Dash87]

25. Nope - be sure to apply directly to the jugular

No blood getting up there means no more bleeding.

[Wounded Bear]

18. Eh....rub a little dirt on it....

It'll be fine.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

19. Got something better. Take two..

dozen of these!

[Wounded Bear]

20. Thanks for the thought....

But I've used up my right to chemically induced comforts.

[pinboy3niner]

22. From behind cover

And wishing all the while that I'd thought of that sooner!

[bike man]

24. Cut an X over the wound and suck the poison out wi....Never mind, that's snakebite. nt

[mythology]

26. I usually proceed with giving the victim

intercranial lead therapy. And none of my patients has ever complained.