how would you feel if
your husband/wife had died a month ago and when you called your sister to talk she said "i can only talk to you for 5 minutes -- the bachelorette is going on". i said "can you call me when it's over"? she said "it's a 2 hour special -- i'll be too tired".
your thoughts?
= new reply since forum marked as read
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Did she spend time talking with you about it at other times or was she
generally and usually unsupportive?
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Had she been drinking? I assume bachelorette to mean "party" -- she
may have felt unfit to talk with you in her present state-of-mind...
which would actually have been VERY thoughtful of her.
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Did you have other avenues of support? If she were the main and/or
only, she may have simply been having a bad day herself and might
be worthy of a little break for this time.
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But if it were a "normal" thing -- or one of the few or only times you
reached out to her, I could see where it would be very disappointing.
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But remember, some of us are simply terrible when dealing with the
issue of death in general.
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I'd let my sister know how horrible it made me feel, though. Depending on her response, I might start looking for a new sister. She could use the excuse that she wasn't thinking, had stuff on her mind, hit her head...
That's heartbreaking. My sister is one of the two most important people in my life. I honestly couldn't imagine. I hope you two can clear things up.
That's what DVRs are for!
I've known people to do this and I find it ridiculous.
I'm sorry. 
I'm also sorry you have such an insensitive sister.
She is not worth the price of a postage stamp. I am so sorry you have such a self-centered, selfish sister...and sorrier still that you lost your husband.
They say that blood is thicker than water, your sister's callous indifference proves most families have at least one member with ice water running through their veins.
This has bothered you for a long time, bury it by burying your ties to her. You'll feel better when she is no longer able to hurt you. Then try to find a support group for widows. You'll probably be amazed at how many have faced similar experiences.
The Lounge is always a great place to bring your troubles and your joy...hope you find some of the latter quickly!
Everyone will be happy to see you here! 
I would feel very hurt.
Is she known to do things like that usually?
I have a sister who quite often says/does inappropriate things.
It took me a long time to realize she's not really an asshole. She just can't help it.
Anyway, on October 4, 2002, she called me to say that our dad was in the hospital and things didn't look so great. He was in pretty bad shape. A few minutes into the conversation, she totally switches tack and says, "But on the bright side, I just got two Chihuahuas".
I was incredulous and hung up on her after telling her to shove her Chihuahuas up her ass. OK...an overreaction...
A bit more than a week later she was among the family at the hospital when the doctor spoke about taking dad off of life support. My son was there and told me what happened....after going through the whole explanation, the doctor said, "Does anyone have any questions?" This same sister says, "Yeah...how do you housebreak two Chihuahua puppies?"
There is something seriously wrong with her brain. For real.
So either your sister has something wrong with her brain as well
or
She just could not handle the pain of knowing that YOU were in pain and that was her way of avoiding feelings she couldn't deal with.
I'm sorry for your loss and that your sister couldn't be there for you.
or maybe she's been emotionally unavailable for years...
and you should expect that kind of behavior....
and maybe there could be someone else to talk to,
someone that WANTS to be there for you.
would that suck that your sister is so selfish....um yea....
but you can't fix that and you need to stick close to people
who are available to listen, especially with something so hard as
losing a spouse.
just my 2 cents, since you asked.
on edit: I hope you are taking care of yourself
