The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsA modest astrological proposal
The LA Times, like other newspapers, carries a column on astrology. This appeals to people who suppose that the position of the sun relative to certain constellations at birth somehow influences them. Needless to say, there is no empirical evidence to support this hypothesis.
I propose that newspapers discontinue the columns based on so-called "sun signs" (Aries, Pisces, etc.), the only virtue of which is that they are easily determined by birthdate.
As an alternative, newspapers might classify people according to the day of the week on which they were born. The associations of days with planets, and of planets with personalities, are equally ancient and no more ridiculous than the associations with the 12 constellations of the Zodiac.
Here's a sample of what you might read in a future newspaper.
Monday: You are either a lunatic, or you will become one if you don't watch out.
Tuesday: You have a warlike disposition and are likely to serve in the armed forces.
Wednesday: You are subject to sudden or unpredictable changes of mood. Furthermore, since Mercury was the god of thieves, you have a tendency toward shoplifting.
Thursday: You like to wield a hammer and are fond of wind, storms, and electrical sparks.
Friday: You are a sex fiend and will fuck just about anything.
Saturday: You are gloomy, slow moving, and mysterious.
Sunday: You have a sunny disposition and are subject to the delusion that people are basically good.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)Why didn't she wait until Friday.
Lionel Mandrake
(4,076 posts)Now that pregnant women can schedule their C sections, they can choose what kind of personalities they want their babies to have.
I guess you mother wanted a warrior, not a lover.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)[img][/img] [img][/img]
Lionel Mandrake
(4,076 posts)What could be more fun than the two F's?
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)magical thyme
(14,881 posts)Monday: you have a particularly pretty countenance
Tuesday: you find blessings in everyone, everything and every experience
Wednesday: so sorry.
Thursday: you are ambitious, driven even
Friday: you are especially kind, loving and generous
Saturday: you are the 99%
Sunday: you won the sperm donor lottery
Lionel Mandrake
(4,076 posts)Your guess is as good as mine.
Sekhmets Daughter
(7,515 posts)I am a Wednesdsay child...Full of Woe....
magical thyme
(14,881 posts)Do you remember how it ends? I always get stuck at Sunday. I lose the rhythm, the rhyme and now I can't remember the words...
Monday's child is fair of face
Tuesday's child is full of grace
Wednesday's child is full of woe
Thursday's child has far to go
Friday's child is loving and giving
Saturday's child must work for a living
Sunday's child...&*#$ %!& %$*# %$# @@!#@wha??????????
Sekhmets Daughter
(7,515 posts)I used to know a bit different version as well....But the child who is born on the Sabbath is blessed with virtue and... I have forgotten the last...
edit: I knew happy wasn't correct...
Lionel Mandrake
(4,076 posts)or Wotan or Odin. These are different names of the Norse god who somehow got identified with Mercury, which makes little sense. Woden, rather than Thor, should have been identified with Jupiter = Jove = Zeus.
But back to Mother Goose:
Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.
I had forgotten about this rhyme. Thanks for the reminder.
pink-o
(4,056 posts)I'm a Sagittarius, born on a Thursday (Jueves, Giovedi, jeudi) which is named for Jupiter, the planet which rules Sagittarius...OMG! Must be Fate!!! Where IS my Tarot deck?
Lionel Mandrake
(4,076 posts)aren't exactly in rebellion against Latin. Mostly they are borrowings and translations from the Latin. The English and Latin names of the gods supposedly governing the seven ancient "planets", starting with the one farthest from the Earth, were
Saturn = Saturnus
Jupiter = Iuppiter, Iovis
Mars = Mars, Martis
Sun = Sol, Solis
Venus = Venus, Veneris
Mercury = Mercuria, Mercuriae
Moon = luna, lunae
This was seen, e.g. by Ptolemy, as the natural order of the "planets". It starts out okay, but seems strange to us after Mars. Partly that's because we, following Copernicus and Galileo, don't consider the Sun and the Moon to be planets.
The corresponding English day names are Saturday, Thursday, Tuesday, Sunday, Friday, Wednesday, and Monday, in that order, which is different from, but related to, the order of the days of the week. That's because the ancients believed that every hour of every 24-hour day was ruled by a god. Each day name was that of the god ruling the first hour of that day. On Saturday, for example, hours 1, 8, 15, and 22 were ruled by Saturn. Hours 23 and 24 were ruled by Jupiter and Mars, respectively, and hour 1 of the next day was ruled by the Sun. Hence Sunday follows Saturday.
Some of English day names depend on identifying certain Roman gods with Norse gods. As I mentioned before, some of the traditional identifications, e.g. of Jupiter with Thor, aren't really a good fit. But we are stuck with them.