I am dreading my birthday.

[alarimer]

It's not a milestone, but I'm still not looking forward to it.

My life is not good; I can't get past this thought that I should never have taken this job here. I'm speaking to my ex again, but I think I have made an assumption that maybe I shouldn't have about him. I don't really do anything, but work. Work is stressful, extremely so right at the moment. But I feel better about work these days. So my plan is to work myself into exhaustion so that I forget everything else.

I don't know how I'll get through the day itself though. I can't afford to go anywhere really and I feel pathetic eating out alone.

[evlbstrd]

1. Mine is tomorrow.

I'm unemployed and being evicted. But I'll be grilling kebabs!

[alarimer]

2. I'm sorry.

I hope things turn around.

[evlbstrd]

16. Thank you.

I'm trying to remain positive.

[hollysmom]

3. I have stopped celebrating birthdays, just another day

instead a celebrate a beautiful day by giving myself a walk in the park.

I hope you have some close family or friends you can turn to, if not, consider visiting an animal shelter and offer to walk some dogs or pet some cats and get some animal loving. My dog always makes me smile, except when I want o smack her for taking advantage of me, but then she gives another hug freely and I am sucked back in.

[alarimer]

4. Yes, maybe it's a mistake to put too much stock in it.

I guess thinking about it makes it seem worse.

[vanlassie]

5. Alarimer, I think you just said a mouthful.

"Thinking about it makes it seem worse."

So you are having a lot of thoughts and they are making things seem worse. Have you heard anyone say "Don't believe everything you think?"
I love that because it is so true! Just because my mind tells me a thing does not make it true.

In fact, my mind tells me bullshit false stuff all the time.

What I suggest is to empty all the current beliefs you are hearing abut your birthday on to a piece of paper.
Like this:
My life is not good.
I never should have taken a job here.
My ex is...
I will have to eat alone.

Like that.
Then, see if you can verify if those things you are believing are really, truly true. Hint: If they will happen in the future, since you are not omnipotent (I assume!) then they are unknown. Then when you get rid of the lies you have been telling yourself were true, you will have something you can make a choice about.
Making a choice about what you will do next is how you regain control and peace of mind over your life. Write down the choices you make. Keep them close by, and follow them. Maybe you want to make a choice about your birthday? What you will do? Where you will go? Choose.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. There is nothing pathetic about eating out alone.

I do it all the time; if other people think I'm pathetic, too bad. In fact, there is a lot to be said for eating at a restaurant by yourself. You can bring a book and take your time. Order whatever you want, including appetizers and wine, and maybe a rich dessert, without worrying about what a dinner partner might think (for example, do you worry that they'd think that you drink too much wine, that you shouldn't be eating fattening food, that you should or shouldn't eat meat, that you ordered a too-expensive entree, that you got spinach on your teeth, that you spilled sauce on yourself - whatever). You can just relax and enjoy your meal and take as much time as you want, eat what you want, and not have to make conversation.

I like going to a nice restaurant by myself. I learned to like it because I have no social life - and I've learned to like that, too. Be your own best friend and you won't be lonely.

[LeftofObama]

8. "Be your own best friend and you won't be lonely."

That's my philosophy and as yet I've never been disappointed.

[whistler162]

14. Used to be mine too until.....

I found out my best friend was talking about me behind my back! The nerve of me.

[alarimer]

9. I do it when I travel

So I guess it shouldn't be that big a deal.

[Rowdyboy]

7. For most of my life I was miserable. Now I'm not. Do as best you can but always understand that it

really can get better. Sometimes it doesn't but often it does. Best of luck my friend.

And fuck that shit about eating out alone. Enjoy dinner!

[alarimer]

10. Thanks.

I just need to make myself get out there and do something. I keep telling myself I'm going to learn something: cooking, guitar, fishing. Something.

[Rowdyboy]

15. All good choices-if you're interested, I personally think cooking is a great way to go....

You can do it any time you have a free moment regardless of the weather or time of day, its money you're already gonna spend, and the free resources on the internet are limitless. 25 years ago when I found my partner and my life turned around I decided I wanted to cook for him. My mom always showed her love through food and it just seemed like a natural fit to me. Now I can pretty much cook anything I want to with at least some degree of success. And your friends will really be impressed with your efforts. Trust me, people appreciate home-cooked food. You can be as health conscious as you choose and start anywhere you like.

Cookies are a great thing to share with co-workers and you'll get reaffirmation by the shit-load. EVERYBODY likes cookies. Plus they're easy and cheap. Buy cake-mix on sale, add an egg some fruit or chocolate chips and pecans and you'll find yourself everybody's friend. Also simple main dishes like soup, spaghetti and lasagna can be a great way to save money and show off for your friends/family/co-workers.

Don't get me wrong-I love to fish (though I haven't in years), I love guitar music (no musical talent whatsoever) but the ability to put out a good meal is really kick-ass talent. Good luck whatever you choose.

[Xyzse]

11. I just had one on the 5th

It was just another day. I was also sick.

I did get to play with my niece and nephew, with my neighbor's jack/chihuahua mix.
Which was just plain awesome!
The choice really is how you plan to take in the day.

Eat out, watch a movie, do things, even alone if need be.
I also look at groupons and meetups to find things to do for cheap.

Hope you find new things to do.
I just bought myself a new ukulele for kicks and giggles.

[noamnety]

12. I don't like eating out alone

it makes me feel too self-conscious.

But I do love curling up with a good meal at home, watching a movie or even surfing online, or sitting outside with a cup of coffee or glass of wine by myself. That would be a fine birthday for me. It could be takeout food or something I make, fancy or comfort food.

[alarimer]

13. I've been craving sushi lately, so that's what I'll probably do.

This small town has two sushi places. I've only eaten at one, maybe I'll try the other. Still, I wish I had someone to go with.