I SO wish I could let loose!...

[Locut0s]

I'm a care free spontaneous, fun loving guy trapped in the body of an anxiety ridden, risk adverse square. Don't get me wrong I don't want to change who I am, I just wish externally I could be the guy yearning to get out. I don't want to be the party guy who goes out and chats up every girl he comes across, get's wasted every night and does tons of drugs. But neither do I want to be the guy who has regretted never having any real deep, hell even shallow, social contacts in his life. You have no idea how much I envy the guys who are comfortable in their own skin, who spontaneously walk up to some pretty girl and starts chatting with them, not cause they are a player necessarily but JUST BECAUSE. Those who can just say FUCK IT when it comes to social interactions, who don't let embarrassment and the "what if" hold them back more than 1/2 a second. To be the guy who gladly volunteers when they ask for participants at a party or event, because "shit this could be fun". To be the guy who goes out on the dance floor. Instead I'm the guy sitting back regretting I've never lived. I suppose I'm in the perfect environment to experiment and try to loosen up, college dorm now. But despite fitting in better than I had expected I still don't have that type of courage.

Here's the interesting thing. I see many a nerdy and awkward guy out there who are worse than me at expressing themselves. Who are not as smooth and sophisticated in their conversations. Who genuinely come across as much more of your stereotypical nerd type. Yet many many of them have managed to find reserves of confidence when it comes to socializing, with both sexes, that I struggle to find. It's maddening cause I sit there paralyzed feeling that I have, if anything more to contribute (yes that's a bit egotistical but I knew it to be the truth in some ways), and yet I'm forced into inaction. It's a lonely existence.

[steve2470]

1. .....

Come on over to the imvu lounge while you post here

[Frosty1]

2. Fake it till you make it?

Act as if... it can go a long way toward creating what you want to be.

[steve2470]

3. pick something super super small.....

Something so small that only you might notice. Do it. See what happens.

As long as it's a well-chosen super super small thing, you will probably see a good result.

Baby steps.....remember the quote by Chinese philosopher Laozi: Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I think that's it.

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/a_journey_of_a_thousand_miles_begins_with_a_single_step

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear Locut0s!

Now, look.

You JUST moved into the dorm. These things don't happen overnight! Give yourself some time, OK?

You will get there!

I was painfully shy for many years, believe it or not. It took moving out of my parents' house and a year or two before I really woke up and started to have a good time.

Don't think about it. Just do it. I know it's not that easy, but I think the time will come when you're ready.....

[TrogL]

5. Have a listen

Loverboy - Turn me Loose

[In_The_Wind]

6. You've come a long way this year ...

Just enjoy something about everyday. Things are already getting better.

[Tanuki]

7. Please don't beat yourself up!

Social anxiety is very common, and although berating yourself over it won't help, you can definitely learn some strategies to feel more comfortable and assertive. Your campus counseling center will almost certainly have someone who can help you with this. Learn a little more about it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. you can't plan spontaneity. Sort of an oxymoron there. Like

Nike says: Just do it.

baby steps. AND really you don't have to live up to other people's expectations of what is supposed to be.

Just be yourself. You are a likeable enough sort with talents and knowledge.

Join a group that revolves around something that interest you - like Photography.

[NuclearDem]

9. Best advice: don't try to be someone you're not.

I did that for years and hated it. I tried to do what all the popular people wanted to do, and it got me nowhere.

Find something you enjoy doing or talking about, and just let it grow from there. You'll end up finding other people who enjoy the same things, especially in a university environment.

Just remember that other people are people too, and plenty of them are dealing with the same kind of anxiety and nervousness as you are, even the ones who would've been the popular ones a few years ago. No one is better than any other that way.

If the pressures about being considered popular, attractive, or any of the other pointless social demands are getting to you, then don't worry about it. I know it sounds contradictory, but people respect and admire someone who's comfortable in their own skin.

You'll be fine. Just remember this is a time for you to discover yourself, and nobody else has the right to make you someone you don't want to be.

[Generic Brad]

10. That used to be me

Join Toastmasters. Seriously. Join and actively participate. The anxiety will not go away, but you will learn how to control it.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

11. Use that.

Find a way to leak it that you want to dance and loosen up. I'm sure a lot of girls will take on the challenge for a nice guy.