A niece, a step-child, godkids.

Our rules were 1) Earplugs Stay IN Ears. PERIOD. No arguments. Absence of earplugs means we go home, plus no video games for a week. 2) No Pit. The adults set a space and we dance there. 3) Line of sight leash. Kid and adults had designated, practiced hand signals for staying together (we shared responsibility for the kids between us all evening so neither kids nor adults felt constrained.) Once etextiles and wearable LEDs got cheap enough, we built the kids shirts with glow-fabric so they were easier to see because both kids and adults do get distracted and chase things. 4) Day of concert means taking naps, eating, no sugar. 5) adults had to be willing to bail if kid got overstimulated or cranky, or violated Rule 1.

The munchkins are now tween to legal adult, so this was a few years ago, but our rules worked pretty well. I still take niece and one godkid to all ages industrial concerts when the forces of the universe align. It's much easier now that they're not so small. I think we only ended up bailing once, and that was more because the club turned out to have a ventilation problem that sucked the outdoor smoking section's cloud directly into the indoor non-smoking space. We also went as a group, with a minimum of two trusted and known adults to every child for lighter punk/industrial (KMFDM, VF, VNV, BR, Chumba) and three to one for heavier/longer/festival settings. We also never tried a concert on a school night, and we adults either didn't drink at all or very, very lightly (and the drivers not at all).

And the munchkins were not warped. All 9 are top of their classes, never in trouble, and those who have graduated got very nice scholarships. And all are still somewhere on the punk/industrial/goth end of the spectrum. There's much to be said for a village raising the kids.

antiquie

(4,299 posts)

7. Good, workable rules.

Reply to politicat (Reply #6)

Tue Oct 8, 2013, 04:00 PM

Oct 2013

I would only add limiting kids liquid intake. Just explain about bathroom lines.
edit to add: I only know from mellow Dead shows...or related in this century.

politicat

(9,810 posts)

9. We didn't because the kids seriously dance and we wanted to model healthy hydration.

Reply to antiquie (Reply #7)

Tue Oct 8, 2013, 06:00 PM

Oct 2013

They were never allowed much soda anyway. Iirc, the normal munchkin beverages were Oj/Cran/whatever juice spritzers with a garnish (clubbie Shirley Temples with limited sugar) and water. Given that our venues maxed at about 1000 occupancy, the lines weren't too bad. I actually wouldn't take a kid to a stadium show (Wiggles, boy bands or Disney factory) because those environments are so much harder to manage.

Half the reason my group of friends started taking our kidlets to concerts was because we had all seen teenagers get seriously screwed up in the early 90s rave culture. Our local consensus was that the kids who got hurt worst had never learned to play responsibly because they weren't supposed to be there at all. Their parents already forbade clubbing, so since they would get in trouble for raving, they might as well get wasted, too. We wanted to model responsible club behavior early, often and with a safety net so that when the inevitable teenage storms started, the kidlets would have protocols already firmly established. (Also, babysitters are really much harder to find these days and the kids like the music, too.) Nobody learns without practice.

We also had long conversations about drink safety, personal bubbles, and what not to do (often with object lessons).