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How to get a faculty job in 20 not-so-easy-steps
http://hopejahrensurecanwrite.com/2013/10/28/my-4-page-comic-book-on-how-to-get-a-faculty-job-in-20-not-so-easy-steps/http://hopejahrensurecanwrite.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/jahrenhowtogetfacultyjob.pdf
4. Don’t forget to show interest in the local area
It’s effective to wax ebullient about how you view moving to rural nowhere as a dream-come-true since your personal interests include not being anywhere near a theater, operahouse, symphony or having an escalator in town.
...
15. Don't drink at the interview dinner.
Your hosts will. They will drink like men who’ve been stuck in the Sahara Desert for ten years. This is because the fancy dinner will be at the university’s expense. Years of pent up anguish suffered at the cold sinewy hand of the administration can be soothed by about $30 of Sauvingnon with astonishing efficiency. It’s actually a good deal for the alumni.
...
Erratum:
When I first posted this, there was massive outcry about point 15 and I learned that some people are really genuinely horrified by the idea of passing up a free drink for any reason, personal or professional. Therefore, I am officially changing my advice to "Wash down a handful of Vicodin with 42 ounces of Thunderbird during dinner."
It’s effective to wax ebullient about how you view moving to rural nowhere as a dream-come-true since your personal interests include not being anywhere near a theater, operahouse, symphony or having an escalator in town.
...
15. Don't drink at the interview dinner.
Your hosts will. They will drink like men who’ve been stuck in the Sahara Desert for ten years. This is because the fancy dinner will be at the university’s expense. Years of pent up anguish suffered at the cold sinewy hand of the administration can be soothed by about $30 of Sauvingnon with astonishing efficiency. It’s actually a good deal for the alumni.
...
Erratum:
When I first posted this, there was massive outcry about point 15 and I learned that some people are really genuinely horrified by the idea of passing up a free drink for any reason, personal or professional. Therefore, I am officially changing my advice to "Wash down a handful of Vicodin with 42 ounces of Thunderbird during dinner."
