Sometimes I feel like screaming and punching people in the face.

[Ron Obvious]

Oh, not for any good reason or anything. I just like screaming and punching people in the face a lot.

[Tobin S.]

1. Come with me to work on Friday.

I could use your services.

[Ron Obvious]

13. I'm there!

I'll bring my brass knuckles and a picture of W to get into the right mood.

[magical thyme]

2. could you pay a visit to my 2 neighbors across the street?

They're always fighting about tree branches and irrelevent shit....

[loli phabay]

3. your one to talk with your awful maple trees, and enjoying your leaves covering our yards.

[magical thyme]

4. Meh! You're just jealous of my shade...

but you are right about my enjoying you having to rake up my escaped leaves

[loli phabay]

5. not anymore, i moved above the adult novelty and video store next to olive garden.

So now i am in a classier neighborhood.

[magical thyme]

6. Meh! Your new neighborhood *used* to be classier

seems to me that your leaving here just upped ours more than a smidgen, and dropped your new neighborhood into the dumpster category.

[loli phabay]

7. touche, though the inverse happened with good looking people and intelligence.

[magical thyme]

8. hey, coming from somebody who thinks porn starts are good looking and smart

I'll take that as a compliment!

[loli phabay]

9. rofl, well i only look from the neck down.

[geardaddy]

10. let's form a union.

I feel the same way.

[Ron Obvious]

15. Yes!

I think I have a good idea on how we can settle who's going to be the president too.

[hunter]

11. My crazy grandma was more of a biter, claw the face, and kick for the groin sort.

I learned a lot from her bad example.

My mom learned that the physical violence part was bad but she's always had trouble with the cutting words. Don't be in the same car with her during an ordinary traffic stop. She does not "respect" certain authorities.

I learned to be amiable. The cops mostly took me home, not to the Police Station or Emergency Room.



Sigh. I'm only a quarter the hellcat my grandma was. The rest of me is friendly feral dog. Sitting in the animal shelter I'm easily bought.

[magical thyme]

12. when I'm working in the call center, I want to reach through the phone wires

and strangle them with my bare hands, while screaming at the top of my lungs. Although wrapping the phone cord around their necks works too...

Can I be in the union?

[Ron Obvious]

14. But that sounds like a very good reason to feel like punching someone

I think we had more of a union that advocates senseless violence in mind.

[magical thyme]

16. well, how about if I strangle them from behind

while you punch them out from the front. My violence would still be justified and just desserts, but I'd be aiding and abetting your violence, which still would be senseless.

[Ron Obvious]

17. I find your ideas intriguing...

I find your ideas intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[magical thyme]

18. great! I'll start writing a newsletter, "Putting People in their Place," immediately...

just as soon as I finish my book, "How to get along with the jerks around you!"

Although the newsletter is mostly about justified violence, we consider all violence to be justified because people are all jerks just begging for it. From that perspective, even "senseless violence" is not senseless. I mean, maybe the jerk you want to punch out didn't do anything to *you* he probably did something to somebody that deserves a good screaming and punch out. So we do take a broad tent approach...

[Ron Obvious]

19. I should be glad to contribute a regular column

People who I think should be shot by Ron Obvious.