My next door neighbor is an asshole.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

My yard is totally garden, no lawn, and he hates it. He especially hates it that I own the half-lot between our houses that he apparently thought was his until I pointed out the lot line, and when I took up the sod and planted apple trees and shrubs and flowers there, he complained that I shouldn't have done that because he liked grass, and that my shrubbery would interfere with his ability to put up storm windows (a problem that he doesn't seem to have on the other side of his house).

Anyhow, for the last couple of years he's been getting even with me for my landscaping choices by throwing trimmed-off brush and branches into my yard. I found another one today - a dead branch about 7' long that apparently fell off the large tree in his front yard, but could not possibly have landed where I found it all by itself.

The last time I complained about branches being deposited in my yard, his wife screamed at me for 10 minutes because my landscaping allegedly attracts raccoons that scare her child (It doesn't. The raccoons, if there are any, probably live under their upended kiddie pool). This time, instead of tossing the branch back into his yard, I stuck it in a pot and put Christmas lights on it. And set it right near the lot line, close to where the branch "fell."

From now on, I will take all of the branches and brush he throws in my yard and put lights on them or turn them into some form of garden sculpture.

[rrneck]

1. I like your style. ntt

[TreasonousBastard]

2. I would LOVE to have you next door...

Lawns are useless wastes anywhere but golf courses, and I can't stand golf.

I grew up in a house with the tiny front yard almost all azaleas and tulips, and the back yard largely concreted when we found nothing interesting that would grow there except a huge peach tree in the middle. We kept the peach tree and around the sides were rose bushes.

Lots of people stopped to take pictures of the place.

Another place I lived, there was a guy who grew corn in his front yard, others were content with ivy taking over.

Lawns? Phew! Waste of water.

And his tree limbs as artworks-- brilliant!

[Gato Moteado]

3. time to turn the half lot into.....

...a place to run your pigs, goats and chickens! make sure you have at least one rooster. it's also a great spot for making compost and bokashi!

[magical thyme]

8. this^^^ you need to raise your own pigs...

also goats and chickens plus a rooster.

and pile your compost right up to the property line.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. I think the city might have something to say about that...

But if I could get away with it I'd consider it. You can raise chickens here, but no roosters.

[anasv]

21. the neighbor would probably

harm anyanimals.

First time here incredibly slowsite onmynook anyoneknowwhy? Other sites work fine. Thx.

[TBF]

22. No idea why it's slow -

I check in from my smartphone (Samsung Note) and it's pretty fast on there. Maybe just busy today with folks off work ..

Welcome to DU!

[eppur_se_muova]

4. If you ever convert part of your lawn to grass ...

be sure it's only for grazing goats.

Also, be sure to tell your neighbor you got the idea from him.

[trof]

5. We're lucky with our neighbors.

We hardly ever see the older couple on one side.
They're very quiet and seem to like just keeping to themselves.
Introverts?

On the other side is a nice couple with two delightful little girls, 11 and 7.
Miz t. and I are their 'stand-in' grandparents.
We keep Popsicles in the freezer for them, and watch their pets (2 small dogs, 2 cats) when the family is away.

The mom brings us food when she has 'made too much'.

Lasagna, gumbo, brownies, etc.

I imagine having a neighbor like yours is the pits, but I like your approach to dealing with the jerk.

[No Vested Interest]

24. Good neighbors are a blessing.

My next door neighbor shovels my sidewalk when it first snows. He (or his family) often take make garbage cart to the curb the night before pickup, when getting it all the way down the hilly driveway is more than I can manage.

Sadly, I seldom see the neighbors on the other side, because my exit through my garage is on the side of my neighbor first mentioned above. But they are good neighbors re no problems and home neat and tidy.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. The incredible hideousness of my side yard

can't be adequately displayed in a photograph, but maybe you can get an idea of what may neighbor finds so loathsome: No grass! (The grass in the background is his yard, not mine)

[bluesbassman]

7. Good gawd Lady! How can you possibly inflict such pain on your neighbor?

Beautiful yard TVO.

[graywarrior]

10. Lovely!

Your neighbor must have brain damage.

[fizzgig]

12. love it!

your neighbor sounds like a passive aggressive idiot. the wife sounds like a real gem, too.

we live in an apartment but don't know our neighbors. the people upstairs always sound like they're throwing cast iron on the floor or practice for a wrestling match. betsy, the blue-haired woman next door (she has blue hair, she's not older) came over and introduced herself to my husband (i was inside), but i haven't met her yet. maybe i'll talk her a goodie plate when i get the baking done.

[No Vested Interest]

25. Good idea to introduce yourself to neighbors.

You never know when you may need to call on them for something small - borrow an egg_ or something large - acute illness or problem needing anyone's assistance.
No man is an island.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

28. Oh, we've been introduced. I've lived here for over 20 years

and they've lived in their house for about 10. They've been a thorn in my side pretty much that whole time - this business with the tree branches is only part of the story. I think if I went over there and asked to borrow an egg they'd tell me they hated my yard and then would slam the door in my face. Other folks in the neighborhood are just fine.

[No Vested Interest]

31. Yes, I understand.

I was referring to fizzgig, directly above my response, who apparently hasn't met her neighbors as yet.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

33. Ah, I see.

In general it is a good thing to meet your neighbors. Sometimes, though, you're sorry you did.

[No Vested Interest]

36. I would, however,enjoy a pic of the branch with

Christmas tree lights on it.
It's the season, you know.

[Gato Moteado]

13. looks great!

your neighbor is a douchebag

[krispos42]

16. Oh, the horror.

You need to grow some pot there for him to harvest. Might mellow him out a bit.

[grilled onions]

17. It Has A Restful Feeling To It

One could take their hobbies out there and work on them. One could read or contemplate the worlds problems while being wrapped in nature's own. I love it!

[Hula Popper]

18. You seem to be

absolutely correct about azzholes..You do have a beautiful yard !

Perhaps you should save the wood and build a firepit near the lot line!

[pipi_k]

26. Looks like

a very charming cottage garden.

I love them, and in fact, I would probably stick some copper garden windmills, glass gazing balls, a birdbath, and other cottage-y items out there.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

27. I have a bird bath and a little gargoyle, but I don't like a lot of non-natural stuff.

I prefer to let the flowers get most of the attention.

However, I may be adding some more repurposed-tree "sculptures" if my neighbor keeps throwing branches in my yard.

[pipi_k]

35. Well at least one positive thing

about discarded tree branches and stuff is that they provide cover for small birds.

I like leaving branches and even fallen logs around as homes and protection for smaller critters.

[Liberal Veteran]

30. They should call the code enforcement on you for tasteful gardening.

[MicaelS]

11. I hate gardens. I love lawns.

The greener, and flatter the better. No trees or bushes. Bring on the fertilizer, weed killer, roller and sprinkler.

After all, how is one supposed to practice their putting in a fricking garden?



Now, I might be bribed of course. The cost would be very high. And endless supply of your best tomatoes. Even in wintertime.

[irisblue]

14. can we get pictures?

[hedgehog]

15. Kick to keep this going!

[treestar]

19. You are cool

And why does he think he has any rights over your property? People can be so entitled sometimes.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

29. They are exactly that - entitled yuppie control freaks.

They'd be much happier living in a McMansion in a gated suburban community where there's a fascist homeowners' association that ensures nobody does anything interesting with their property. I have no idea why these people want to live in a city neighborhood with old (1880s-1920s) houses and small lots and an ethnically diverse population.

[geardaddy]

20. He sounds like an arse.

Great yard!

We live in a condo in Uptown and planted our boulevard. So sick of grass.

[mnhtnbb]

23. We have a neighbor that decided to use the back edge of his lot line--up against the back edge

of ours--to dump his tree trimmings and yard waste.

We complained to our city government that he was creating an unsightly
mess that would attract snakes and other critters (and also was an ungodly
messy view from our deck).

The city sent him a letter and made him remove the pile!

He's never done it again.

He also used to let his dog run loose to come crap in our yard. We put up a fence, so the dog could no longer
get in to 'water' the plants. When we told him to stop letting his dog run wild, he asked us, 'what's the matter,
don't you think it's a cute dog?'. Uh, no, not crapping in our yard.

[B Calm]

32. I would buy a chipper/shredder and thank him for the mulch!

[bif]

34. Welcome to the club!

We have asshole neighbors we been fighting with since we moved in 27 years ago!

[Blue_In_AK]

37. Our next-door neighbor's yard looks like a junkyard...

...and I'm not exaggerating at all. He has some kind of "shop" set up back there, and some nights when he thinks everyone is asleep, he burns the sweepings. I've contemplated calling the fire marshal on him because I'm sure his place is a fire hazard. My guess is that he and his wife are hoarders, as well. Judging from the outside, I would be afraid to step inside their door.

[davidpdx]

38. It's too bad you can't pump a little raw sewage on to his lawn

He sounds like the kind of person who deserves it.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

39. I have indulged in some revenge fantasies along those lines, but

I think I'm going to stick with my jiu-jitsu methods and use his spitefulness against him - by creating weird tree sculptures that he'll hate and putting them up just inside my lot line.

[davidpdx]

40. Put a fake CCTV up as well

Make him think you are watching him.