I'm not allowed to join in most of the reindeer games. Actually, I've decided to think of it less as rejection than territorial asset protection. When there's so little to be had, people protect their little spots in the sunshine with a vehemence. The zero sum attitude rules.
But I've been in choirs from the age of 6, when I was already a budding contralto. Some were excellent, even winning a superior rating in competition, others not so good. Across the board what bothered me most was the ridiculous preference most directors (and others) had for sopranos, especially when it came to singing lead or solo. Anybody who didn't sound like a squeaky wheel could just forget about the limelight. I mean, look how they excorciated Peggy Lee as a 'siren' when it was her vocal range they objected to as much if not more than her song lyrics. I even knew people who bought and played her records but kept them hidden from public view as if they were porn or something.
One reason I was always partial to real musicians is that they appreciated contraltos more and when I was lucky, I got to jam with some fine players. I listened to Billie Holliday so much I picked up her habit of singing just behind the beat.
Back to choirs, however. Local especially. I don't really mind not being welcome in the one at the UMC so conveniently nearby, partly because all the females are sopranos and the males are barely light tenors. All poor breathers, too. Not only would I have to restrain myself from singing over them all, I could hit at least half an octave lower than anyone else. So I wouldn't fit in even if allowed in.
There are ways to compensate, however. On my first visit there, I actually liked the selections for the congregation, so I let 'er rip. Can't say I almost knocked over the pipe organ, but my voice training hasn't faded that much and I still despise microphones. Don't like them for speaking either, because they force you to swallow your voice, and I was taught excellent projection. At least I will say this, the numerous heads turned in my direction all showed smiling faces. I'm not always used to that around here, and it really feels good.
So no, I don't sing in a choir anymore. I stand in the pew and basically sing over them if I like the song. If not, I mumble along with everyone else.
Sorry (??) if that sounds conceited. There are days I don't feel inclined to hide my light under a bushel like a good little damnYankee librul invader. When I wanna sing, I'm gonna sing. I keep wishing a good bass singer would show up, because they're a lot of fun. I just loved the one that sang backup for Olivia Newton-John on "Let Me Be There" or whatever the title was.
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