I really suck at being a caregiver

[Arcanetrance]

My dad had been sick earlier in the week and was running a fever. Well the fever broke but he spent the rest of this week still kind of congested. I didn't think much of it figuring it's just leftover crud and it'll pass. Well today my dad was extremely weak and having issues his doctor told me to get him to the hospital. Turns out he has a bad case of the flu I figured everything was okay since he wasn't running a fever but I guess I was wrong. I'll know more tomorrow after they run more tests but I think it's obvious I suck at this.

[blogslut]

1. I understand that you feel bad but

...you did the right thing by contacting his doctor and getting him to hospital. Don't beat yourself up. Caregiving is hard enough.

[Locut0s]

2. I understand why you would beat yourself up. But there is absolutely no reason to here...

I share the same character trait, I blame myself for everything. But here's absolutely no reason to here. Illnesses are hard enough for trained Drs to read and even they frequently get things wrong. There's no reason to think you should expect to have known otherwise!

PS: good vibes to your father!

[Hoyt]

3. I bet your dad is plenty glad to have your help.

[bamademo]

4. Was not a good caregiver either I thought but I got high praise for everyone for doing for Mother.

I made sure she had everything she needed but I wasn't cheerful about it. It's rough to do. Don't beat yourself up.

[eShirl]

5. As one caregiver to another, sounds to me like you're doing great.

We can only keep trying to do the best we can do. I feel like you do sometimes, too.

[pipi_k]

6. Don't beat yourself up

Over this

When my MIL lived with us after breaking her hip she started acting all weird and shit

Big change in personality. We told her doctor and it turned out she had a bladder infection. No fever. That's what often happens with the elderly

Also, she developed a foot sore literally overnight that never did heal no matter what we, or the hospice nurse, did. Although one thing I was proud of was that she did not get bedsores because we changed her position on a regular basis when she was unable to move on her own

Care taking is a process of learning. If you are doing your best, then that's all you can do.

[MissMillie]

7. Anyone could have made that mistake

you're there for him, you got him the help he needs.

Sounds to me like you're a great caregiver.

[Scruffy Rumbler]

8. Sounds like you did just great!

You observed his fever breaking, were aware of his continuing congestion, CONTACTED HIS DOCTOR, communicated his conditions and your concerns, listened for the advise and took action. EXACTLY what you needed to do as his caregiver! You're his care giver, not some omnipotent being!

As other have said, be gentle on yourself. You did it right!

Not sure if you are aware, but dehydration and other things can lead to UTI's that in elderly people can first present as increased confusion or other changes in personality. My sister is full time caregiver for our mom (Alzheimer's) and getting her to drink enough fluids is one on my sister's daily challenges. We have seen this first hand a few times.

Mom and sis had a trip to the ER recently after Mom spent a sleepless night complaining of pain to her groin and hip and refusing to bare weight. My first concern was that one of her prosthetic hips had failed or another kidney stone. Turned out to be neither and later that day she was back to her normal with no pain!

Hang in there!