A realistic horror movie plot

[MrScorpio]

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Similarly:

Something evil is chasing me! I think I'll kick off these 4" high heels so I can run away instead of twisting my ankle and falling down.

[Liberal Veteran]

2. And: I smacked this mass-murderer with a iron skillet and kept smacking him until he was ground meat

rather than smacking him once and then collapsing on the floor with my back turned to him while he recovers.

[MrScorpio]

3. And keep your horny teenagers out of haunted houses...

That's asking for trouble.

[charlie and algernon]

4. Just turn the damn lights on!

Coming home late at night? Guess what?! There's usually a light switch right next to the door. Turn that sumbitch on and go your merry way instead of fumbling around in the dark!

[frogmarch]

5. Instead of this:

Little Jimmy: “Fido just...”

Jimmys parents: “Not now, Jimmy. Whatever Fido did, telling us about it can wait till morning. Now go back to bed.”

Jimmy obeys and goes back to bed. Fido, once a tiny chihuahua, is now a huge hideous monster. Fido devours the family.

This instead:

Little Jimmy: “Fido just...”

Jimmy’s parents: Fido just what?

Jimmy: “Turned into a huge hideous monster.”

Parents: “Another bad dream?”

Jimmy: “Uh-huh.”

Parents: “Let's watch a funny movie to make you forget the dream, okay?”

Jimmy: "Okay."

Jimmy, with tiny Fido snuggled up against him, falls asleep on the couch while watching the movie.