so I'm having a bit of an emotional crisis this morning =/..

[Volaris]

First, I'm not sure anyone cares a whit for this particular topic,
Second, I guess it should go in the lounge...
Third, I'm posting this from my phone so please forgive any typos..

So the short of it is, I have decided to get married to a woman that I have known, and loved...uniquely...for about 2 decades. It's what I want for my life, and I am happy=).
In order for me to claim this happiness for myself, I have had to end a romantic relationship that was in the early stages of becoming something very fullfiling in its own right. This woman is ALSO wonderful, and caring, and deserves so much better than to be such a victim of this kind of cosmic chance.
That I must hurt a person I care about in order to secure my own happiness (and really, I feel, to be with the person I was DESTINED to be with) seems a cruelty I do not want the strength to bear. That I DO have the strength to bear it, makes me sad today=(.
Thoughts and opinions are most welcome. I very much love my fellow travelers here, and welcome your feedback on what would otherwise be a very, very private topic. Thanks.
Vol

[NYC_SKP]

1. Does the woman you want to marry know about the other woman?

And if she doesn't, do you plan to tell here before asking to marry you?

I think this is a central question.

[Volaris]

2. It's kind of not like that...

The woman im getting married to, asked me out of the blue. This was out of the blue sky after running into her again after several years apart. When she asked me, I had just started dating someone, and I said I would have to think about things.
I IMMEDIATELY Informed my short duration dating partner of what had happened (because I couldn't NOT do so, in my mind). I considered things, and made my decision, and informed both of them decision. One is happy, one is sad, and I'm feeling both. I KNOW I made the right decision for me in this matter, I just wish the circumstances had been more ideal.

[NYC_SKP]

3. Well, for you, this is not such a bad problem to have.

I think you'll be fine. The woman you're leaving will have to try to become secure in knowing that she is a valued person with or without you and we have to hope that she moves on from this in a healthy way.

Best wishes to all of you!

[Volaris]

4. You're right on all points I think. Thanks nyc_skp. =)

[Gidney N Cloyd]

5. It seems like you've pretty much handled things in the right way.

[femmocrat]

6. Trust me, you will never forget love number 2.

You will always wonder about what could have been. (I know.) You have to make a decision and live with it though. You can't have them both and either way, someone will get hurt.

[lunatica]

7. Honesty and the truth are required in important relationships

It's a very good foundation for doing what is the best for the three of you.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. regrets. only liars don't have them.

[Liberal_in_LA]

9. woman #2 will get over the hurt.