Study: Majority Of Americans Not Prepared For A Sucker Punch To The Gut
Study: Majority Of Americans Not Prepared For A Sucker Punch To The Gut
The Department of Health and Human Services says disturbing scenes like this can be prevented if Americans take the correct precautions before a sucker punch hits.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-majority-of-americans-not-prepared-for-a-suc,37118/
WASHINGTONWarning that millions of citizens across the country are currently at the highest level of risk, a study released Tuesday by the Department of Health and Human Services revealed that the vast majority of Americans are not adequately prepared for a sucker punch to the gut.
Agency officials determined that as much as three quarters of the American populace, or some 240 million individuals, are fully exposed and vulnerable to the threat of an acquaintance or fellow bar patron coming out of nowhere, placing one hand on their shoulder, and then drilling them square in the stomach with a closed fist.
According to our findings, the average American has not taken even the most basic precautions for the possibility that someone might wait until their guard is down and land a sudden, solid blow directly to their gut, HHS Secretary Sylvia Mathews Burwell said, noting that citizens nationwide would likely be caught unaware and left completely devastated should a sucker punch hit in the near future. Many people seem to believe that a sucker punch wont happen to them, or that if it does, it wont be particularly harmful. But the unfortunate reality is that a sucker punch can strike anyone at any time without warning, and it can be one of the most awful events of ones life, often leaving victims doubled over and grimacing for minutes on end.
That is why its absolutely crucial that citizens develop a comprehensive preparedness and recovery action plan immediately, she continued. Because by the time someone slugs you in the belly, its already too late.