When Jehova Witnesses ring my doorbell

[SHRED]

Why do I get a visceral disgust reaction?

I think a part of me feels that they think they are superior beings out to "save me".

I don't take kindly to that passive aggressive bullshit.

[pinboy3niner]

1. I just let my dog, 'Fluffy,' answer the door

[steve2470]

11. ha! nt

[Manifestor_of_Light]

31. Fluffy was in the first Harry Potter movie.

He had three heads and his real name is Cerberus.

[lovemydog]

70. LOL.

'Here Fluffy!'

[KamaAina]

2. Why don't you answer the door naked?

[Xyzse]

3. They would enjoy it too much?

[pinboy3niner]

4. Then instead just yell, very loudly, "Dave's not here."

Repeat as many times as needed.

[underpants]

78. "Sorry, can't help you. I didn't see the accident"

Line stolen from someone here at DU

[hippywife]

46. Because depending on the age of those at the door

and possibly even not depending on their age, it can get you arrested?

(I know you're being facetious. At least I think you are. )

My personal choice: just don't answer the door. They go away.

[Kablooie]

87. I just set off the big rig air horn that I have placed opposite the doorbell.

[Dont call me Shirley]

5. I tell them "No thanks, I have my own religion". They give me a confused look.

[LanternWaste]

6. I get the same emotional reaction to political canvassers out to save me with their passive-aggressi

I get the same emotional reaction to political canvassers out to save me with their passive-aggressive bs

[hifiguy]

7. I was once awakened from a hangover that would have killed

a horse by JWs. I told them, calmly and politely, what they had done, to leave and to NEVER turn up at my doorstep again.

[ailsagirl]

8. My first inclination is to slam the door

Last edited Thu Mar 26, 2015, 08:09 PM - Edit history (1)

But I don't. I just tell them I'm not interested and try to keep the annoyance out of my voice.

For me, seeing them on my doorstep is always such a downer.

I wonder how many people welcome them with open arms.

Added:

But also, I don't like being solicited. Honestly, I go to the grocery store and people come up to me in the parking lot asking for money. I feel bad for them but I'm barely scraping by as it is.

[PassingFair]

9. I answer the door like this:

[ailsagirl]

10. LOL!!!

[cwydro]

12. Lol!

[Manifestor_of_Light]

32. Hitchens smoking in the shower!!

Showing off his manly (hork, snort, cough) bod.

[Joe Shlabotnik]

60. Back in the day,

Every manly-man had an ashtray in the shower. Sigh, I miss those days.

[DFW]

13. They tried us during our vacation on Cape Cod once

My wife and I had a temporary lapse of linguistic ability, forgot all our English, and only spoke German for the duration of their (very short) visit. I'm sure next time they show up, they'll know German. But by then we'll have forgotten all our German and speak either Swedish, Russian or Catalan.

"Hello, I want to talk to you about the Lord and the Bible."

"что вы говорите? я не понимаю."

"Uhhhh. Oh. Never mind. Have a nice day."

"идти к чёрту, дурак"

[pinboy3niner]

14. I'd like to see someone address them in Klingon, lol. nt

[DFW]

15. I'd be afraid some of them know it as their native language! n/t

[pinboy3niner]

16. Bazinga!

[Archae]

28. I'd like to answer the door as a Klingon!

[ailsagirl]

17. That's hilarious!!!

[Sherman A1]

18. Had one today

He was very pleasant, gave me the little flyer thing and we wished each other a pleasant day.

[Jenoch]

23. That's how we handle these interactions as well.

The same for when a couple of Morman missionaries knock on our door. I don't see any reason to be insulting to them.

(However, whenever I see the Watchtower pamphlets in the waiting areas at medical facilities I discreetly put them into the trash.)

[DFW]

33. Ah, yes, the Mormons.....

[hifiguy]

35. Once a Mormon missionary accosted me while I was walking

to the bus. Followed me even after I told him was an atheist. After half a block of his telling me I was headed straight for hell I told him to "fuck off NOW!" or I was gonna find a cop.

[Jenoch]

38. They are not supposed to behave in that manner,

but of course they are only human, and usually quite young.

When I was in junior high, I remember a couple of young Morman missionaries foming to our front door. My mother invited them in and they spoke for at least an hour. My mother was curious about their beliefs. They even left The abook of Morman behind when my mother asked. (I think it's still on the bookshelf.) of course my mother had no intention of joining their church, she was merely curious. I have encountered Morman missionaries three times and they were always polite. Perhaps it was because when I was approached I was polite to them.

[alphafemale]

51. Then they'll be back shortly.

Asking what you thought about it.

They do not interrupt polite vague disinterest well.

You have to be rude.

Go away and don't ever come here again. I want no part of your hallucinogenic horseshit.

[LiberalElite]

19. They do

believe they have a lock on The Truth. They refer to themselves as living in The Truth. As such, they don't participate in any inter-faith activities because they know The Truth and all other beliefs are just not it.

From their website: "Although many churches allow their members to do whatever they want, the Witnesses live according to Jehovah’s standards" Sez who? Sez them!

[DebJ]

21. and 'them' is like ten men living in NY.

The way they have twisted my sister's head and life is just horrendous.

She has no friends, and hasn't for decades...you are only allowed to associate with other Witnesses. They have no hobbies, no interests, other than gardening and home remodeling, things they pursue as a couple, with no friends. For forty years. Forty years of isolation.

She had some real issues as a child, things she totally distorted about my mother(per her three siblings), and the Witnesses told her
"Just tell yourself you are not upset and that is the answer. Emotions are a tool of the devil, so choose to not feel them." Whatever you do, they said, Don't talk to you mother, no, don't work it out, don't find out the truth...that would be feeding Satan's ability to use emotion to get to you. My sister decided this was effective and had 'fixed' her issues. Meanwhile, she shut her parents and her sisters pretty much out of her life completely. for 40 years. And never, ever spoke, until two years ago in some phone calls, of her perception that our mother had abused her. We heard her details, and other nutsy things she said, and realized she needed a psychologist, badly. We lived in a small home and nothing like what she described happened...my mother had merely given my sister some advice on how to make herself attractive to a man, in the manner that a woman born in 1928 might well do, and my sister had taken offense at this... Mom told her not to eat too much and put on weight because then no man would want her... this was a reflection of my mother's own self-image (my sister looks very much like my Mom) and her firm concept that without a husband, a woman is nothing, useless, so Mom was doing what she felt was in my sister's best interests. Ever after that, my sister considered herself abused, and hated our mother. In discussions of this with our Aunt, the Aunt described my sister as a young child as someone who seemed to have an attachment disorder, a child who never wanted to be hugged, cuddled, kissed or touched. This is all very bizarre, to discover when my sister is now aged 58.


My sister convinced herself, literally convinced herself, that my mother was always insane. She told us this a year ago, and the next thing we know, she had convinced my parents to live with her. Parents whom she only visited maybe 4 times in 40 years, for a day or two each time, and whose phone calls she didn't bother to return for months at a time. My parents were in very early stages of dementia. I was horrified, and very concerned, but couldn't get my other two sisters to accept what I was saying until over the ensuing months, strange things and a trail of lies began to be very evident. My sister wouldn't spend any time with my mother at all, though they were living in the same house. She wouldn't even answer my mother when she was 6 feet from her and Mom asked her a direct question. And many other oddities. Within two weeks of their arrival, my sister asked us to declare our parents totally incompetent and give her control of their medical and financial matters. Our parents were not incompetent in either fashion at that point. Next thing we know, my sister is plying my mother with antidepressants, without her or anyone's knowledge. When we found out, we stepped in to stop it. My mother was very ill two weeks ago, and I went to my sisters (8 hour drive away) to visit for a week. To my horror, I found out that by using four different doctors in the ER, my sister had put my mother on 2 anti-depressants, 1 anti-anxiety med, and 2 other psychoactive drugs....within 5 days, all these new meds being dumped into my 86 year old mother, who by this point had advanced rather severely in her dementia. The drugs INCREASED her anxiety, she was in a constant panic. I can't describe the horror I witnessed, of a woman who was already disoriented by dementia, being chemically put into total panic..... for 8 long hours... happened 3 nights in a row before I saw where the meds were, logged them down, and blew my stack! I insisted we go to Mom's GP and have him review this nightmare, he pulled all the drugs thank God except on short-term use antidepressant. Next step: we find that one other sister had documents naming her as guardian (thank God). The sister with whom my Mom lived keeps pushing now to try to get that guardianship transferred to her, or for my sister to give her some proxy status.... because, I'm telling you, she has a twisted need to stuff Mom with psych drugs to justify her stance of apparently 40 years that Mom was 'always insane'. By now, my sisters and brothers-in-law know what is really going on. Mom went in a nursing home and my other sister is taking guardianship, so at least my twisted sister can't hurt her anymore.

That's the result of the Witness advice, to not work things out with family members...because you know, if you talk to non-Witness family members, they might wake you the hell up.

There are so many other twisted things, it makes me sick. I used to allow Witnesses in my home, glad to discuss the Bible with anyone...though never to agree. But after this nightmare of the past year, and seeing how they totally screwed my sister in so many, many ways, i don't know what I'll do if one knocks on my door ever again. But it won't be pretty.

[hippywife]

47. That's pretty messed up.

And I'm sorry your sister fell in with these people.

I'm an atheist and once worked with a woman who is JW and we never had anything but the warmest relationship. She was very sweet, never imposing of her beliefs, and we shared many laughs together as well as hugs, never in the least feeling any restrictions in our interactions in any way.

I suppose like any any sect, there are those who believe and use their beliefs in strange and twisted ways, that others of the same belief system do not.

[Duppers]

72. People usually develop such dysfunctional behavior from childhood.

Demands and pressures by parent(s) create neurotic needs which in turn can push the adult child into fundamental religions.

Yes, your sister certainly needs psychological help but can you be so sure that your mother didn't contribute to your sister's neurosis/personality disorder? JWs just made it ten times worse. A sane person wouldn't be susceptible to the twisted thinking of JWs, imo.

[DebJ]

93. Well, there were four daughters.

None of us observed the things my sister said, and each of us understood our mother (even if we didn't agree with her).

And my Aunt, my mother's sister who was 14 years younger than my mother and 14 years older than I, said that this sister
was very different from a very young age. All of us, except this one sister, were like the usual 2 year olds: we would sit in
her lap, enjoy hugs and love and attention. My Aunt told me that this one sister would never let anyone touch her, from the
time she could walk away.

[pipi_k]

20. I usually just mess

Up my hair and clothing before flinging the door open in terror while batting at myself and screaming hysterically for someone to get all the giant spiders off of me

[Major Nikon]

22. One of the things I like about my town...

is they have a no soliciting ordinance which states you can't knock on a door if a No Soliciting sign is displayed. The god peddlers are pretty good about following the law. Occasionally I get a salesperson who knocks on the door. I keep copies of the ordinance handy which I hand to them. Then I tell them they might want to run as I'm about to call the cops.

[libodem]

24. So don't ya wish

You could shock or horrify them in some violent way?

[Tom Ripley]

25. They are unfailingly polite and non-racist...

I give them 5 minutes of my time then tell them I have pressing business.
JWs are responsible for a couple of very important civil liberties decisions: conscientious objector status and not being compelled to salute the flag or recite the pledge of allegiance.

I wouldn't want to be one, but I am grateful to them.

[handmade34]

41. I am not grateful for them

[Skittles]

26. I find them to be very polite

I don't care for people doing that kind of activity but I do find those folk in general to be very polite

[noamnety]

76. I disagree.

I've had them ring my bell and wake up a infant who had just taken hours to fall asleep, while I was sleep deprived following surgery, setting me into another multi-hour task of getting the little one to drift off again.

My view is that it's inherently impolite to disturb someone in their own house, without any indication that they want to talk to you, and without any indication that you won't be disturbing someone who is sick, sleeping, on a different work shift, or otherwise engaged in their own life and not wanting interruptions.

Talking nice after the point at which you've invaded a person's private life for your own reasons doesn't make it polite.

[Skittles]

82. hmmmmmm

I am guessing you are NOT a night worker

[noamnety]

90. Currently I am not.

But one of my past jobs had me on a few weeks rotation day shifts, then a few weeks evening, followed by a cycle of graveyard shifts. Having been through that definitely gave me a different mindset about assuming it's okay to disturb everyone at their house at any hour.

[csziggy]

27. Last time they stopped, I thought it was some pagan friends here for Samhain

I don't practice any religion but I had given some friends permission to have their festival at the farm. I thought the Jehovah's Witnesses were some of the members of the group I hadn't so I asked them where they wanted to set up their circle, etc. We were all confused until the real pagans got here and the JWs left really fast.

For some reason the JWs haven't been back.

[olddots]

29. I hand them a Dianetics book

and tell them to come back when they get things " cleared " up .

[hifiguy]

36. Well played indeed!

[DeSwiss]

30. Talk to the cat.....

[hifiguy]

37. Ceiling Cat!

[NJCher]

40. Good one!

Cher

[CherokeeDem]

34. I woman I worked with...

told us her husband, a firefighter was home after being injured slightly at a fire and two young Mormon guys rang the doorbell. Bored, her husband let them in, asked them to sit down, offered them something to drink, then asked them, "What now?" He expected them to give their message but he said they looked at each other, then one answered. "We don't know, we've never gotten this far before."

[Tuesday Afternoon]

55. Ha! Now, that is funny!

awkward.

[NNadir]

39. My cousin was a Jehovah's Witness.

She used to drop off "The Watchtower" here and there, year after year while I was growing up.

She used to call me "baby" even after I was a full grown man, because she was much older than I am, and remembered me being born and to her, I was always "the baby."

She was a beautiful woman, filled with kindness and grace, who never asked for anything from anyone, but never stopped trying to help other people. She was with me when my mother died, and I swear she kept me from going crazy, or getting arrested, or worse.

I loved her very much, my cousin.

She got cancer some years back, and died, and to be perfectly honest, if she could hand me a copy of the Watchtower once more, my heart would burst with love.

I cannot say much about her faith, except that she lived it, unlike a lot of other people I know who want to tell me about their version of God, she lived the parts of Christianity that are about service, and help, tolerance and forgiveness.

I may not be a Christian, but I miss her very much.

[DeSwiss]

42. Beautiful......

[SHRED]

43. Nice story

[hippywife]

48. Thank you for sharing your story, NNadir.

As an atheist, I can certainly still appreciate those who believe who are non-intrusive and treat others so well.

[RazzleCat]

44. Many years ago Mormons would "visit" every day

Found out the super of my secured building was a Mormon and letting them in. I snapped, next visit I pulled out the finger symbols, and did the Harri Krishna dance and chant while they spoke to me. Last visit ever.

[Algernon Moncrieff]

45. I respect your faith, but I don't share your faith. Now I'm going to ask you to leave.

That's been my stock response for years.

My wife says I'm too nice to them.

[MrMickeysMom]

54. You are nice to say this, AM...

I've engaged them to the point of even attending a service with them years ago. I was given a "one chance, then it's too late" pitch upon arriving at said church and getting face time with one of the zealots.

Then, there are my cousins…. Their parents are now gone, and we have nothing in common. The uncle and aunt never wanted their kids to mingle with my brother, sister and me. Too bad, because the cousins dropped by not long after the 2nd parent died. They had no sense of family history. My siblings and I reached out to them, but I notice that they are stuck in JW dogma.

Too bad. I see that religion as oppressive. If I ever get another one at my door, I'll try you stock response, since it'll save me another thing to add to the recycle pile.

[Algernon Moncrieff]

59. I did this stupid thing once.

I was in the shower. The doorbell rang. I was expecting a UPS package. I wrapped a towel around me, and went to get the door. As I go to open the door, my wet feet hit the lino in the foyer; I fall backwards; my head hits the corner of a wall; and I'm damn near knocked senseless. I get up. Wrap the towel back around me. I open the door. Two very nice JW ladies are there. I ask what they want as nicely as I can. They say words I'll never forget as long as I live:

"Sir, you're bleeding"

I look to my left/their right. Blood is pouring down my shoulder. I look at them and say "Oh -- I have to go now." My then girlfriend (now wife) drove me to the ER, where 6 stitches were put in the back of my head (I have the scar to this day) and she had to wake me every hour as part of the concussion protocol.

While I was sleeping, they came back to ask how I was. I think they left literature.

[BarbaRosa]

49. They stopped by last Thursday.

I went to answer the door but they didn't knock, just left a flyer, But I overheard this part of a conversation: "We call her Brownie because she is a brown person. . ."

This is SW New Mexico

[sharp_stick]

50. Too busy setting up a blood drive

When I was a teenager I told them my parents ran the Red Cross and were out setting up a blood drive. Would you be interested in helping them out?

They never came back.

[Inkfreak]

52. I've never had one come to my door.

Lucky me! I prolly wouldn't answer it anyways.

[MrMickeysMom]

53. Tell them you're catholic...

They'll probably leave then… They really don't like the catholic….

[RebelOne]

68. Even better, tell them you are an atheist.

I do since in my case, it is true.

[MrMickeysMom]

69. How quickly does the blood drain from their face?

[Demoiselle]

56. I really hate having strangers come to my door.

I don't have any trouble saying Thanks but No Thanks once they're there. It just creeps me out a bit when somebody I don't know shows up...

[jmowreader]

57. There's only one sure-fire way to get rid of them

"Yes, please come in. Would you like a beer?"

[shireen]

58. Are you searching for answers to the questions of life? (paraphrased)

Answer: I don't have any questions.

You should have seen the look on their faces!

[UTUSN]

61. This post ought to say it all.

1- My mother would freak, "I *have* my religion!1"

2- I was educated here at DU about how the JW enhanced our liberties by going to the SCotUS to assert rights to whatever.

3- They LUERVE parking in front of my abode. (Tree shading the chain linked gate, BELL, so CUTE!1) There they stand, the women in their long skirts and under their umbrellas, the dudes in long-sleeved dress shirts and neckties.

4- I don't answer. When they've caught me outside, I said, "If it's about religion, I don't want it and they said, "Oh, you don't want to talk about 'religion' so can we talk about the Bible?!1" and I said, "What did I SAY?!1"

5- So the most recent time they parked in front, I said, I *KNOW* it's a PUBLIC STREET but WHY *just* in front of MY house, why not at my various neighbors'?!1" (Their answer, because my place is CUTE/quaint.)

6- I can quote scripture, like, if you are rejected at the door then SHAKE THE DUST FROM YOUR DAMNED SANDALS and beat it!1

I think I've said it all.

[LuckyLib]

62. I have a ceramic sign next to my doorbell that reads: No solicitors, religious or otherwise.

We are happy just the way we are. If that changes, we'll call you.

[UTUSN]

63. I hate when that happens. So many stories. n/t

[sakabatou]

64. I just point to a placard which has my family name on it.

[LiberalElite]

65. I'd agree that they

see themselves as "superior". They refer to themselves as "being in the truth." Then there's everyone else....
P.S.: JW don't participate in interfaith events because theirs is the "one true faith".
http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/2010410

[raccoon]

94. Lots of religious people do that "see themselves as "superior".

Which turns me off completely. And I'm sure, many other people.

[Avalux]

66. I don't answer the door. I remember my mom and dad had different styles.

My mom would open the door and angrily scream at them to go away and never come back.

My dad would invite them in, listen to them politely, then tell them he didn't agree and he hoped they respected that. He told them to never come back, and to tell their church to that it was pointless to keep sending people to his house.

[seveneyes]

67. play this for them

[struggle4progress]

71. I always tell them: (1) I agree with their anti-war stand; (2) I really admire the history

of the Witnesses in Nazi Germany; but (3) I don't agree with them about everything; and (4) I'm happy with my current church; so (5) I probably won't become a Jehovah's Witness. This generally produces a short and pleasant conversation, after which they happily go on their way

My father, whose career was molecular biology research and who therefore regularly taught evolutionary theory and related topics, is a very sweet man, who (I think) would rather be eviscerated with a chainsaw than to offend anyone, and who is an optimist regarding the possibility of changing minds by conversation, once invited them inside to discuss their creationist views. Since then, whenever I have mentioned the Witnesses to my mother, she sternly warns me never ever to let them into my house, lest I be unable to get them to leave again

[catbyte]

75. Yep, same reaction here. Also dislike the Mormons & the bots from our local megachurch that bother

me on an otherwise quiet, tranquil Saturday morning. In the immortal words of W.C. Fields, "Go away, kid, you bother me."

[LanternWaste]

77. I react the same way towards political canvassers.

I react the same way towards political canvassers.

[underpants]

79. Tuesday night the doorbell rang. I was cooking. My wife answered

I saw that it was a young woman. After a few minutes my wife closed the door.

Me- vinyl siding or politics?
Wife- politics
Me- good or evil?
Wife - evil


Having canvassed a LOT (1,200+ doors for Sen. Jaime) I am not rude I just say that I'm not interested or if it a political campaign I let them know that they don't need to waste their time.

There is a Repub primary here next week for 3 offices. I am planning on writing in Josh Duggar, Dennis Hastert, and possibly Jeff Gannon if I can't think of another current name.

[Kali]

80. they can't get down my road anymore

[Capt. Obvious]

81. Answer naked

[Telcontar]

83. My wife had a standing tea time with some JWs for some time

They would come to the house, sit for tea or whatever, and talk about the Bible. My FIL is a Methodist preacher, so she is well versed in the scriptures. My wife enjoyed the company.

I had two Mormon girls sit on the porch and we talked religion for a long time. I feel bad for them, there's little traction in the South but they never get discouraged.

[ailsagirl]

84. I didn't realize they actually would come into one's house

[LiberalEsto]

85. You can always say "Hail, Satan"

and see how they react.

[LuckyLib]

86. We have a sign near the doorbell that says, "No Solicitors -- religious or otherwise. We are happy

just the way we are. If that changes, we will call you." Works like a charm.

[Danmel]

88. When I was home on maternity leave a father-son team of Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell

I was 31 at the time, but I am very petite and have always looked much younger than I am. So I answer the door and the kid, who was probably 15ish said "good afternoon! Is your mom home? ". So I said, no I'm sorry, she isn't. And they left!!!

[Joe Shlabotnik]

89. I just bought a shirt for 6 bucks

at the local Salvation Army. Its a really well made short sleeve white shirt, that begs to have me wearing a black tie and carrying around a bible. I think I might just convert to Jehovah Witnesses so I can wear it and aggravate people.

[IDemo]

91. A house around the corner from us had a hand written sign on the door:

"If you're selling God or goods, please leave." Pretty well gets the message across.

[DFW]

92. Last time that happened to me in the States

We were on vacation. Some big black limousine drove two clearly uncomfortable fourteen (or so) year old boys around to knock on doors and try to convert people who were clearly not there to be harassed by religious fanatics using brainwashed kids to recruit converts.

I sent my wife to answer the door when they knocked and told her to speak only her language (her English is fine when the occasion warrants). It worked. They understood no German, and they left without a fuss.

We got one such visit here at the house in Germany, too. I took it this time, and spoke to them in Catalan. They gave up on me, too. It was either that, or tell them what we really thought of their little campaign, and that would have taken more time than we thought they were worth.