If we DID have the National Guard take over Texas...what should they impose on it?

[Ken Burch]

(They think we're conspiring to do this anyway, might as well have some fun with it while this lasts).

Myself, I'd impose a 5pm nightly strutting curfew, a strict "share your stash with Willie" policy, and a ban on "well-done" steak.

Add your suggestions below.

[Major Nikon]

1. I'd be all for getting rid of the blue laws

[Ken Burch]

2. We should require everyone who owns a "ranch"

To either raise lifestock on it or CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE.

[Major Nikon]

3. I always called it the pig farm

Which is all it ever was.

[Ken Burch]

4. Did he even have pigs?

I thought he just went around cutting brush when the camera crews were there.

[Major Nikon]

5. It was a pig farm before he bought it

[Hassin Bin Sober]

14. And a 20 cattle minimum to wear those hats.

[Skittles]

15. what a fucking phony

remember the "windshield cowboy" bit? Asshole is afraid of horses.

[SCantiGOP]

17. Give W a break

Clearing brush is the only thing he did right in 8 years.

[Tom Ripley]

6. A dress code ( those hats are fucking ridiculous)

[Aristus]

21. And to that, I would add: unless you ride a horse and rope cattle for a living,

YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING COWBOY!

It's idiotic. You've got guys who work in, say, an aluminum siding factory, live in a trailer, drive a pickup truck and eat Hot Pockets while watching "Nashville". And they call themselves 'cowboys'. How the fuck does any of that make you a cowboy?

[clarice]

30. Cowboys are HOT !!!!! nt

[pinboy3niner]

7. Mandatory same sex marriage, of course

But I like that well done steak ban, too.

[Ken Burch]

9. All mandatory same-sex weddings to be performed by Rick Perry or Tom DeLay

With receptions held at Southfork Ranch.

[The Second Stone]

8. Psst. The US already controls Texas

and what we do with Texas is mess with them. Constantly messing with them.

[clarice]

24. and we just keep laughin' at you and livin' large pardner. nt

[kentauros]

10. Willie would have to share his stash with me,

because I don't have one

[Ken Burch]

12. Willie would understand. I'm sure he's been there.

Maybe not since 1966 or so, but still...

[kentauros]

13. I'd be happy to simply share the room with him!

[WinkyDink]

11. Kanye and Jay-Z. Minus wives.

[SCantiGOP]

16. sanity

[dawg]

18. I like the one where we force people to live in hobbit homes.

It's my favorite.

[sarge43]

19. Court ordered mandatory monthly psych counseling n/t

[Avalux]

20. Impose on IT??? What about us liberals who live here?

It might be fun for you to make fun of Texas, but plenty of us Blue Texans are working hard to change things from the inside.

Maybe I should have a thicker skin but sometimes I get weary of this crap.

[clarice]

25. Me too, it's as if most blues not only HATE Texas, but hate the very IDEA of Texas.....

Maybe it's all of that "pullin up your bootstraps and makin' your own way" nonsense.

[kentauros]

26. Well, I gave this thread a pass because it's in the Lounge.

Plus, there was that other thread here making fun of the CT folks that started all of this "invasion" shit.

Now, if this same thread were posted in GD, it would have less humor and more angry calls for us to "secdee"

[trof]

38. Right. I'm Texan-by-marriage.

They don't even ask to see my Texas passport when we visit.

[Paladin]

40. Texas liberals don't exist, for a lot of DU'ers.

Or hadn't you noticed? Back in the early days of DU, regional prejudice was unfavorably looked upon; those days are long gone, particularly as to Texas.

Keep up the good fight from within, because we're going to have to do it on our own. It's pretty obvious that the Democratic Party walked away from us, some time ago.

[Ken Burch]

42. I'm not making fun of the blue folks in Texas.

This is aimed at the RW types who really believe there's a conspiracy to send in the Guard to impose martial law or something.

No offense to the Castro bros or Jim Hightower or Sheila Jackson Lee intended.

[cloudbase]

22. They could make us all wear

"I love Oklahoma" shirts.

[clarice]

29. PERISH the thought !!!!!! nt

[Ken Burch]

43. That would be a war crime.

We'd never do such a thing to you.

[clarice]

23. How about keepin' all the Yankees out?. nt

[kentauros]

27. In some ways, we NEED those yankees

(yes, even the Hipsters) so that they can turn our elections around. Until the gerrymandered districts are recovered, it's going to take many more years for the Hispanic population to grow enough to make that damage moot. At least we do know that's one of the things top republicans fear

[clarice]

28. True Dat. nt

[DamnYankeeInHouston]

36. Hey!

[clarice]

44. ooops....except you of course. nt

[Ken Burch]

41. So they couldn't road games at Houston or Arlington? n/t.

[NewJeffCT]

31. A complete 100% ban on guns

and also on churches.

[Sancho]

32. Everyone would have to learn Spanish!

We have to know Spanish in Florida, so I think Texas should have to speak it too!

[trof]

39. You mean Mescun?

Honest to god.
One of my Texas brothers-in law said that.
"John, do you speak any Spanish?"
"Naw, but I kin speak a little Mescun."

[Puzzledtraveller]

33. I agree with your list

also, Ice Houses must operate 24/7 and always have a cooler with bottles of Big Red on Ice.

[benld74]

34. Intelligence

[NightWatcher]

35. Strict education standards that don't mention the bible

A science book.

[DamnYankeeInHouston]

37. And a history book.