How do you do? My name is Dr. Cornilous Baxter Throcmorton. I need to send you 34 million..

[BlueJazz]

..dollars because my government want me to take part in a devilish experiment. The government contacted me and said they have instructed me to change the faces on all our spys. They said also that some will be changed into a woman. Your good friend contacted me but asks that I keep his name silient.
I will send you a check for 744 dollars. you keep the money but then send me the money and...

(This is exactly how the email read. These dudes sure come up with some weird shit.)

[dixiegrrrrl]

1. Quite obviously an example of a Haldol deficiency

[BlueJazz]

2. Took me a few seconds to catch that! (Isn't that for schizophrenia?)

[dixiegrrrrl]

5. Yes.

Symptoms include racing thoughts, flight of ideas, and word salad
Also the belief that you are under the control of someone else...but since that covers all Tea Baggers with their God illusion.....

[BlueJazz]

8. Being a somewhat scientific person, I wish there were a shot/pill that (administered by a doctor)..

... would allow you to experience all the symptoms of a mental disease for say...an hour or two.
Obviously, a padded room or a safe place would be a requirement.

Of course, if you did participate in this scenario and didn't notice anything different, they might ask you to stay in the room!

[struggle4progress]

3. I think it's legit but you changed the name:

didn't the email really come from Winston Corrigan?

[BlueJazz]

4. Damn! He could trip to the end of the universe and back. Brings back fond memories.

In my band days..after work, we'd go to the beach (2:00 AM) and play "Airplane"
Ready for take-off sir! Roger!

[struggle4progress]

6. I'd guess a 55 gallon drum would let everybody on the planet visit Lucy in the sky

[Marie Marie]

7. Damn!! No one ever wants to send me 34 million.

[Art_from_Ark]

9. I once got a job offer promising me 34 million...

...yen (about $280,000) per month doing easy work a few hours a week. All I had to do to get started was to reply to someone with an English-sounding name in Russia (whose e-mail address was different from the sender's address). I'm still kicking myself for not taking advantage of that "opportunity of a lifetime"

[SwissTony]

10. I once had an email from the CIA (in Russia) telling me I had committed a crime

and they intended to prosecute me but I could have the charge waived if I paid a fee. Well, I suppose the CIA does work in Russia, bur I'm not sure they advertise it. Also his English was mediocre to say the least.

Many of the junk emails I get have return address which differs from the "sender's" address. The "sender" could be entirely innocent. I once received an email from a woman enquiring as to whether I had sent her an email promising megabucks if she replied. I assured I had not. How the true sender got a hold of my email address, I don't know. I'm sure it's not hard to pull them off the internet.