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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsJade Helm (remember this???) Week Is Here. Have You Decorated Your Bunker Yet?
Operation Soiled Trousers 15
Jade Helm Week Is Here. Have You Decorated Your Bunker Yet?
Surely this proves something!
Congratulations, comrades! It has been a glorious month! Our puppets on the Supreme Court have forced through the twin abominations of Obamacare and Sodomite Marriage, and in the wake of our successful False Flag attack in Charleston, our Politically Correct allies have destroyed the last symbol of resistance to tyranny. Now, while the nation is distracted by the insane ramblings of a crazy man with a tribble on his head, the hour has come for Our Glorious Leader Barack Obama to declare martial law across the southwest, and to start rounding up the guns and the patriots! Jade Helm 15 is finally here! Remember, dont start the rioting until you hear the code words on the TV: Rapid Advance, They Helped My Business Grow, Rapid Advance, They Didnt Say No. Then head to your nearest Walmart and start yelling whatever slogans come to mind. And remember to say a friendly Ni hao! to our Chinese comrades as they come flooding out of the subterranean tunnels, which are the best kind. Even if our Glorious Leader doesnt announce his plan to bend America to his will this time, there will no doubt be some hilarious videos of idiots yelling at Army dudes.
But beware the patriots are watching! The Houston Chronicle warns that the Armys training exercise (hah! That one never gets old) will be monitoring Jade Helm 15 on the internet, which will somehow remain functioning even when the shit hits the fan, because Obama is crafty that way. A website called Counter Jade Helm has been slapped together so that patriots can keep track of government troop movements, and its got all sorts of cool resources, like a place for citizens to report all the suspicious stuff they see in their area. If theres a bustle in your hedgerow, or you see a suspicious number of Subaru Outbacks that you suspect may be carrying lesbian terrorists, make sure you report it there! Theres also a handy dandy guide to American military vehicles, in microscopic side views that are literally the size of a thumbnail, so you can get eyestrain trying to distinguish between various versions of the MRAP armored vehicle. And no, clicking on the pictures will not enlarge them, probably to enhance Operational Security, or OPSex as we patriot militia types call it. You can tell that theyve worked a lot on the website, since the homepage includes a line of boilerplate web theme nonsense that came pre-loaded on the page (click to embiggen):
The objective is not to stop or countermand the militarys training, but to practice our own skills. Anyone can participate. Groups within each state that will play host to the military are being established to streamline the process. Individuals not wishing to be affiliated with a group can also submit information to this website for analysis and publishing.>Vermilion adopts a business or commercial centric visual model, with corporate background shades interwoven with configurable, vibrant or brand colors, allowing for an equilibrium between professionalism and artistic allure. [Emphasis added]
. . . .
Eric Johnston of Kerrville, Texas, explained to the Houston Chronicle how the Counter Jade Helm patriots will provide sitreps on the militarys maneuvers:
If a team member sees two Humvees full of soldiers driving through town, theyre going to follow them, Johnston said. And theyre going to radio back their ultimate location.
. . . . .
http://wonkette.com/590898/jade-helm-week-is-here-have-you-decorated-your-bunker-yet?utm_source=wysija&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=july+13
dixiegrrrrl
(60,011 posts)not sure what the latest colors ad materials are.
Anyone know?
antiquie
(4,299 posts)seveneyes
(4,631 posts)Le Taz Hot
(22,271 posts)and she started talking about how Jade Helm was going to start in a couple of days and it's going to start in Utah. I swear to goddess she was serious. I mean, what do you say? It's like someone walked up and told you that the C.I.A. had planted implants in their head and they're monitoring their every move which is why they have glasses filled with urine surrounding the house. I mean, just what in the hell do you say to that?
niyad
(118,195 posts)those fear-driven idiots do something really stupid!)
Le Taz Hot
(22,271 posts)with maps and 8 X 10 glossy pictures with circles and arrows the names on the back of every one.
niyad
(118,195 posts)(note to self: order more popcorn--and wine, and chocolate!)