Donald Trump hair repaired by Thatcher

[T_i_B]

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/donald-trump-hair-thatcher/

United States presidential hopeful Donald Trump has hired a Suffolk thatcher to sort out his famous hair.

The American billionaire had been spotted in Suffolk twice in recent months, sparking rumours that he was planning to expand his luxury hotel empire to the region. But the Suffolk Gazette can reveal he has in fact been in secret meetings with thatcher Derek Williams.

Trump, 69, is famous for his cringeworthy hairstyle, which features a bizarre back-to-front combover. He fears it could cost him crucial votes should he be nominated by the Republicans to run for the presidency. And he has told pals that he wakes up in a sweat at night from a recurring nightmare in which he is waving to the press as he steps off his presidential helicopter outside the White House – and the rotor blades blow his hair clean off.

While trying to find a solution, Trump’s aids learnt about the famous work of Suffolk thatchers who specialise in repairing the roofs of picture-postcard cottages. They discovered that secret techniques used by the skilled craftsmen could be used on human hair to create a thicker look that was stronger in all weather conditions.

[rurallib]

1. once again I am stumped if this is real or satire.

so hard to tell any more.

[T_i_B]

4. Girls are stupid and they smell, claims Donald Trump

Much like this?

http://newsthump.com/2015/08/27/girls-are-stupid-and-they-smell-claims-donald-trump/

Donald Trump has launched another furious attack on girls claiming that they are stupid and they smell ‘gross, like doodies’.

Several weeks ago, he clashed with Fox News host Megyn Kelly after his mother had explained to him what menstruation was.

“I’m not listening to you,” he said, putting his fingers in his ears. “My ma just told me what periods are, and that’s what you’re doing. You’re doing periods everywhere. Eww, period lady, period lady. Look everyone Megyn is just a big period.”

It has been seen as one Mr Trump’s oratorical highpoints.

[trof]

2. I thought this was about Margaret.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

3. Trump has a solution ...

... don't go outdoors without a ball cap.

Very presidential.