Question about being a boarder

[steve2470]

Last edited Thu Apr 7, 2016, 12:11 PM - Edit history (3)

Thanks all of you for my questions over the years on behalf of my son. I love him and want the best for him, so I ask these questions.

Question: What should he know about being a boarder ? I know the really obvious stuff, but since I've never been a boarder in someone's house/apartment/condo, I don't know what else to advise him on. Any and all suggestions sought. Thank you once again, and have a wonderful day!

Steve

on edit: Thank you so far for the suggestions! Sorry I was not more clear, but what I'm really interested in is a situation where he moves into someone's house, and the occupants of the house are a family or a married couple, etc.

2nd edit: changed subject line and text to be more accurate

[blogslut]

1. Get the food and sundries situation figured out.

If all items are communal, cool. If you're both going to buy those things separately then ground rules must be set.

As well, set some rules about utility/water/internet/cable usage. Two people means more usage.

Agreeing on these things going in means less stressing about it later.

[LynneSin]

3. And regular overnight guests mean even more usage

My ex had a roommate situation ages ago where he was rooming with 3 other people. Two of the roommates always seemed to have their girlfriends stay over which mean those bills you mentioned went up even higher. He was not happy about paying for these higher bills even though it seemed like 6 roommates and not two.

I almost had a roommate and we would have been sharing a 2-bedroom/1-bathroom apartment. I had made a requirement 'No overnight guests during the week' (an occasional I'd be fine but didn't want a regular one). Honestly, I didn't want to have to get ready in the morning and share that one bathroom with 2 other people especially since one was an extra. Neither of us were dating anyone serious at the time but the potential roommate had a hissy fit over that rule. I decided it was better to pay a bit extra and stay in my small apartment then deal with a roommate.

[Mr.Bill]

13. When I lived with roomates we had a simple rule about overnight guests.

When you had an overnight guest, you contributed $10 to a household fund. We used the money for commonly used items, like toilet paper, laundry soap, etc. Any excess funds were applied to utility bills.

This was many years ago, a different may be appropriate today. The point is, if someone stays, someone pays. And no body stayed long or often.

[mackerel]

2. Make sure he has a safe in his room

for his valuables.

[rug]

4. Settle the toilet paper controversy before he moves in.

[Thor_MN]

6. Over the top vs. Down the wall?

[rug]

7. Yup.

Unless it's over the top, the police will vbe called within three weeks.

[trof]

8. Absolutely.

It's the law.

[rug]

9. .

[In_The_Wind]

5. Don't drink the last beer.

[fizzgig]

12. i had a terrible roommate once who did that all the time

in the four months we lived together, i think she paid rent once. ate my food, drank my beer, smoked my cigs and never paid her utilities. she got pissed when i tossed her out and took all my nice silverware. only reason i gave her that long was because she was a friend of mine.

[In_The_Wind]

14. I know the type all too well. imo: you and I are softies.

[fizzgig]

16. i totally am

[elleng]

10. Ask them, first/early,

what are their rules/preferences.

[ohnoyoudidnt]

11. Clean up after yourself, especially in common areas.

Never touch their food unless offered. Ask before you invite guests over, especially if over the night. If you use their washer/dryer, do it as quickly as possible, never leaving your clothes in the machine for an extended period of time. Be mindful of the noise you are making after they go to sleep. Maybe offer to help with house maintenance, yard work, etc. etc.

[fizzgig]

15. honest question

how different do expect it to be than before he initially moved out? i can see setting clear expectations on parties or overnight guests as well as any expected financial contributions, but that's about it. i'm assuming he'll still respect quiet hours and will be expected to pitch in with the housework.

[steve2470]

17. I really don't know

I would think becoming a boarder in someone else's home to be a pretty straightforward affair overall, but I don't know. He may not go that route. All the advice so far has been good, so maybe I'm worried about nothing.

[fizzgig]

18. just don't let him turn into my sister is the best advice i can give

she is 31, still lives at home. doesn't pay rent, utilities, student loans (my dad is a co-signer), car insurance or parts or for most of the groceries. she does a few chores around the house, but not many.

no, i don't want to hit either of them with a hammer

[steve2470]

19. yes, he knows that won't happen

He's been out on his own for almost two years, but now needs another place. My place is one option with my very reasonable rules (but yea, I'm still his father), or being a boarder, or other options. He'll give me an answer soon. Thanks for your time, and everyone else's in this thread. The part about helping out with housework didn't occur to me, so I'm glad I asked this question. If he elects to become a boarder, I'll remind him about that.

[noamnety]

20. Headphones!

Always, if others are home, he should listen to music through headphones, not blasting the stereo.

Wash his dishes right after a meal. Living with your own dirty dishes in the sink is no big deal, but working around someone else's dirty dishes piled up is gross, and it's especially frustrating when the pan you want to use was left dirty.

[steve2470]

23. headphones FTW, you are SO right about that

I agree with everything else too.

[Fla Dem]

21. Roommate to me is different than a boarder.

I think of room mates as being equal in responsibilities; rent, food, housekeeping, etc. Also they have equal acces to common areas such as living room & kitchen, while having privacy and domain over their own space(bedrooms). Even then there would have to be some agreement over guests, both temporary and overnight, how late they can entertain, use of common food for their guests etc.

I see a boarder as having very limited freedom. To me this is someone who rents out a room in someone's else's home. They have to live by the rules of that home regarding all things, guests, food, noise, access to common space etc. Unless it's a separate space like an in-law apartment in the basement, with a separate entrance, small kitchen area, own bath, I would find that arrangement very confining.

I would take being a roommate (preferably with someone I know) to be a boarder every time.

[steve2470]

22. ignorant question here

Do boarders usually pay less per month than roommate situations ? Of course, we're not talking about living in a multi-million dollar mansion or being gouged. My impression has always been that boarders pay less. Is that accurate ?

[Fla Dem]

24. I have only had roommates,(long time ago)

We rented an apartment. We split the rent and utilities. I would guess being a boarder would be much less expensive. I am assuming you are only paying for a room, not a whole apartment. Whatever utility costs would be factored into the boarding fee. Maybe it would also cover food costs, unless you are expected to pay for your own meals. But boarding would not be for me. I'm sure it's not for most people and if they could afford their own apartment they would rather do that. I just think of it as a very restrictive, non-private arrangement.