I no longer feel like I'm dying.
I went through a long time where I felt like there was something dying inside of me. Or maybe like a period in my life was over. I began to feel that way not long after I hit my 40s, the onset of middle age. I would sometimes come home from work and just sit there in the driveway for a little bit before going in feeling this most poignant feeling of loss. An album I was listening to at the time by Young the Giant had a song on it called "Firelight" that really brought that feeling out of me.
I guess I'm still a little young to be suffering from a mid-life crisis, but that might have been what was happening. Only I didn't have the resources for a sports car and I'm much too devoted to my wife to sexually seek out twenty year old women.
However, I feel better now. I've got a good new job. It's the kind of place where you spend your entire working life. There are people there nearing retirement who have never worked anywhere else. I had some financial problems and I'm coming out of the lingering affects of a bankruptcy last year. Almost done with that now, though. We were still feeling a pinch on our bank accounts, but my wife's parents recently came into an inheritance and they gave us a nice cash gift. That coupled with better paying jobs for both me and my wife should have us back on our feet quickly.
John Lennon said that he thought life began at forty. I was feeling like it was all over there for a little while. Maybe an aspect of my life is all over now, but some part of me mistook it for the end of everything. Now I see that there is much more to come.
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WE have always known that you are well-alive, have been ever since we first 'met' you.
You're an earnest guy, Tobin. I enjoy your thoughts.
Some days it just comes down to a beer and a hug. Enjoy them when they come your way.
I've been to every state except Alaska and Hawaii and most of the southern half of Canada. When I embarked on that profession I wanted to see the country and have great adventures. I truly did and I will always cherish those experiences. I think you'll have a blast.
Alas, I have no sage advice to give. 
But that song is wonderful. 
I like everything I've heard from them and I bought their first two albums. I think they have a new album due out soon and have released the first single.
My daughter-in-law's maiden name is Tobin, and she's a peach! You, too have arrived, and it only gets better.
You made my day by introducing me to that group and that song. What a voice on the singer.
Cheers to you and your wife.
Tobin is my real first name. It was my dad's idea. He was looking for something different. When I was grown he asked me if I liked my name and I told him that I did.
Yeah, I really like Young the Giant. They have a new album due out soon if it already hasn't come out. I'll be buying it.
I'm an old fart though I have no problem going to a Death Metal (which I like) Concert. When I'm not working I dress like an old homeless guy because I really don't give a fuck what anyone thinks. For me, life truly began when I turned 60. It's like all that baggage I carried around for years was gone. I'm finally doing what I wanted to do when I was 30.
Glad the money thing is less stressful. Been there more times than I want to remember.
Sounds like things are coming around. Good to hear.
We all get depressed at times, but I think money problems create much more stress for people than we want to admit. It is wearing...so mind-numbingly wearying to have to worry about money all the time. It can suck the joy of life out of us.
Thank you for the song. Really a beautiful song and a great band, and I love Sameers' voice. They are going in my music folder.
May your life continue forward on a positive path.
There have been times in my life when I wanted to check out permanently. I'm glad I found a way to stick around.
After 13 years, DU and all of the people who post here have become a lasting part of my life. It's more than just about people of like-minded political persuasion.
I consider that young, as I'll be 59 in a few months.
One of the keys is to stay active mentally and physically. I still play slowpitch softball 3 nights a week in local park districts. One of the leagues is for players 40+ (the young guys are in their early 40's) and the other two nights there is no age minimum (most players are in their 20's & 30's). I'm in the less competitive division, but still play the outfield. I'm also on a 55+ team that competes in weekend tournaments.
Softball is not for everyone. If you like the outdoors, hiking in natural areas is great. It need not be overly strenuous. Walk at your own pace. The goal is to be away from concrete and traffic. I use most of my vacation time for hiking & backpacking. My goal is not to churn out long miles, but to stop and smell the flowers and take in the views.
Cheer up -- you've got a long road yet to travel.
