Somedays I hate being the mom. Took my daughter to Planned Parenthood for her 1st birth control

[riderinthestorm]

pills. Ugh. I'm not sure she quite understood what would happen during this first appointment. Pretty subdued coming out. Was thinking I'd give her a big hug but the black gloom over her head kept me at arms length.

Had to run a nasty gauntlet of screaming anti-abortion folks to even get in the front door. Double ugh.


Now to go back to my regularly scheduled workday like this hasn't been some kind of truly surreal experience....

Thank gawd it's Friday... 5:00 can't come soon enough!

[bigwillq]

1. Better to be prepared

Responsible sex education is key, imo.

[riderinthestorm]

3. Yup. There's no question it's the right thing to do, its just hard sometimes. nt

[siligut]

2. The repugs want to make being realistic and responsible painful

I feel for the workers at Planned Parenthood. You did the right thing

[riderinthestorm]

4. Thanks. PP has a great little info card they give you when you register now.

Pretty informative about the protesters and their misinformation campaign, what a patients' legal rights are when it comes to these protesters etc. etc. My daughter really did read through all of it.

Honestly, I had completely forgotten they'd be there. I was so zeroed in on HER that I wasn't clear-headed until we got close and I saw the crowd. I just said a very quick "Ignore them. They're ignorant and you are doing the right thing".

Front doors at the clinic were heavily locked and barred. Had to show ID to get in which takes a moment so you do feel pretty exposed standing there.

Young women (like my daughter) who aren't as fortunate to have a mentor, friend, or anyone else with them though would probably feel pretty damn intimidated.

[LynneSin]

5. Imagine having to do that when your daughter is 12

That was my first visit to the gynecologist although mine was not for birth control but other health related issues.

Your daughter should be honored to have her mother with her and one who cares enough to do this.

[riderinthestorm]

6. Oh geez, just makes my tummy get butterflies even thinking of it.

Hope your mom was with you....

[Gold Metal Flake]

7. Hoping you both have a relaxing weekend.

It's hard for anyone to deal with that kind of hatred, especially when it is coming from multiple people. Scary, too. And fundamentally unfair.

[riderinthestorm]

12. I am totally off this weekend. Can't wait to do... NOTHING! LOL. nt

[MuseRider]

8. You did the right thing by your daughter today Mom.

I had to learn about all of it myself and get myself into a clinic for my first check not knowing what to expect and terrified they would call my parents. Terrified the pharmacy would call my parents. Terrified I would run into someone who would call my parents. Terrified about what would happen if the pills did not work, pre Roe V Wade.

At least at that time we did not have protesters to deal with. That has to be the nastiest of all.

Black gloom, I can imagine. Bet you get that hug later when she has processed it all. Here is one from me in the meantime

My mother would have handed my father the baseball bat he would use on me if they had ever found out. Not all young women are as lucky as your daughter and I am sure she knows it. Another

[riderinthestorm]

13. I just can't imagine doing that by yourself... oh yikes!

I hope someday she understands. I believe she's been responsible and been using condoms but as we all know, they're not all that.

I asked her if she wanted me to come in and she almost hit me with a baseball bat (if we'd ever possessed one which we don't!) "No way Mom!" she hissed.

She came out clutching a brown paper bag and literally bolted for the door, with me scrambling behind her. I'm hoping by the end of the day we can actually have a conversation about it. For now, she's hibernating in her room. I didn't even ask her if she wanted McDonald's pancakes after this "ordeal", I just swung through the drive-thru for her favorite comfort food.

She finished all of it before we even got home. Closest thing I could think of doing for her aside from a hug.... (and thanks for the hug, I needed it!!)

[AnneD]

9. A Nurse Mom here......

and School Nurse. Responsible sex education starts when the ask their first question or when they explore their bodies. I wish I could teach sex ed classes like they really need to be taught-the earlier the better in my book. I am hamstrung by the rules and it is a tough tight rope I have to walk.

I knew kids would ask my daughter about sex because "your mom is the School Nurse". So she knew the correct names etc. I always told her that she should feel comfortable to come and talk to me, especially if she was thinking about becoming active. To my surprise, she took me up on my offer and talked to me before she became active, at the age of 21, (see, they don't become sexually active when they know the fact) with her fiance. Geography kept us apart for her first pelvic, but I explained everything to her , she had a female Doc, and she did as I recommended and tell them it was her first exam. She called me afterward and we talked about methods of birth control. I have to be honest in that it made me feel uncomfortable talking to her about it...after all I am still a mom. However, I was happy that she felt comfortable enough about it to confide in me. I am glad she took my advice to wait until she was more emotionally mature to have sex.

Ridin...you did the right thing by your daughter-and she will thank you later. I would still give her a hug though. When they act the toughest is when they need it the most.

[riderinthestorm]

14. Thanks. Honestly, I'm just not naive about when they start having sex.

I have two daughters, my oldest is 24 and we never had any conversation about going for birth control. She just took it upon herself. We were/are heavily into breeding horses so reproductive issues have never been an embarrassing subject at the family dinner table. When you have to head to the airport to pick up a cooler of semen or you are having a conversation about when a certain mare is ovulating, it becomes pretty blase pretty fast. My girls have always known they can talk to me about it.

My youngest daughter however is a wild one. Way too sexually mature for her age, going way too fast. I'm really worried about her and this just seemed like a pro-active step I could do with her, for her, to keep her safe?! (or as safe in this arena as I can).

She's hibernating in her room right now and I'm in and out doing chores and working. Hopefully later I can give her that hug!

[AnneD]

23. Some kids mature and are active earlier.....

I have seen this and it is hard on the parents of the 'wild' ones. Making sure they have protection is the best you can do. One of my daughters friends was wild. We actually had a talk about that too. It was a good example for my daughter, albeit a negative one.

After giving her that hug, don't forget to be kind to yourself. Remember, in the end it is their life to live. All you can do is hope they don't make life altering decision too early.

[OriginalGeek]

10. My daughter has been on the pill since she was 14

She and her mother went down to get them to control her periods.

I have (had) mixed emotions about it because I wasn't even told until after it was a done deal. I'm 100% happy they went and got them and I don't doubt for a minute that was the reason but I was a little perturbed they thought I needed to be shielded from it until after it was done. On the other hand, though it bothers me to admit it, they were probably right. I was uncomfortable talking about all that stuff then and I'm a little ashamed of that.

Fortunately, we are all over all that and it's just natural business to us now. My daughter will often text me to remind me I need to stop at the drug store on my way home to pick up her pills. Only took 7 years to get there lol.

[riderinthestorm]

15. I was embarrassed too today. It was really awkward for me.

I didn't have the words I felt I should have. I still don't really know exactly what I'm going to say to her when she emerges later..... I was trying to act all matter of fact, and encouraging, and supportive... probably ended up coming off as the biggest mom-dork.

Ah well. It's done and that's the most important thing.

There's a great commercial running in the Chicago area about how you don't have to be a perfect parent to adopt a kid out of foster care. How the kids are actually secretly happy to have an embarrassing parent - ANY loving parent.

Heh, so I comfort myself in that I'm just the most embarrassing mom on the face of the planet today but no matter what, I just know this was the right thing to do.

[trof]

20. Same for me.

I was a head-in-sand dad who just didn't want to know about that stuff.
Her mom got her started for the same reason.
'Heavy periods'.
Yeah...OK.

Ah well, she's 40 now, married with two kids.
And all is well.

[lunatica]

11. When young people and children have to learn about the crappy world stuff

It's absolutely good when they do it under their parent's protection.

You did good.

[riderinthestorm]

16. .

[alphafemale]

17. If you are uncomfortable speaking of these issues get your kid this book.

It's been around for decades. This is a "fairly" recent update.

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&q=our+body+ourselves&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1045&bih=654&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=9798099509995487878&sa=X&ei=eCt2T_TTC43rtgfzlcmFDw&ved=0CEoQ8wIwAg

It's just sex. Almost all of us do it. Find the best way to do it safely???

[yankeepants]

18. You are a great mom.

[Arkansas Granny]

19. You did the right thing, Mom.

In time, you daughter will realize just how much your support is worth to her. Hang in there and have a good weekend.

[Callalily]

21. You are a good mom . . .

plain and simple.

I'm going to repeat . . . you are a good mom.

Please keep that in mind that you are a good mom.

[dana_b]

22. I remember doing that with my kid

she's old enough now to go herself but yes, it does suck. We were lucky though that no one screamed at her. They were just kneeling and praying. The only time that I remember screaming is when I had had a miscarriage and had to go in for a D&C. I wanted to hit those people.

btw - I wanted to add that it will get easier and you are an excellent parent.