Okay update on my first date in 24 years..........

[mrmpa]

I was to meet him at the concert venue on Friday @ about 7 p.m. I texted him that due to traffic, I'd be there closer to 7:20. No answer to my text. Called him no answer to the call.

Finally hear from him at 7:50 & he tells me where he is sitting. I start walking that way. Stopped right near the audio tent. I called him & told him what I was wearing and where I was. No sign of him.

At 8:10 he says he's in the handicapped parking lot. Great I told him stay there, I'll meet him there.

At 8:25 after 2 failed calls & no sight of him, I texted I was going home. I went home, for a couple of reasons, #1. not being able to find him & #2. I was in extreme pain from being on my feet and walking for nearly 1 hour.

There were only about 800 people at the event and the audio tent was a very easy landmark & there's only one handicapped parking lot.

He has left messages & called several times since Friday. One of the texts was "I really like you", to me that's scary.

[patricia92243]

1. "I really like you" is not scary. Give the guy another chance. It seems this time was a comedy of

errors. Eventually, you will both have a good laugh about it and will have a funny story to share with your friends.

Why not meet for coffee or drinks. Then if all goes well, some other time let him come by your house to pick you up to go out.

[underahedgerow]

2. Keep in mind he might have been having a bit of anxiety. Newly widowed, first dates,

etc.

Give him the benefit of the doubt, meet up for coffee. You both deserve a shot at this!

[irisblue]

3. Isn't he a very recent widower? I really like you seems fast to me

that said, maybe he freaked out about dating someone. If you want to try again, do it in public. How did you meet him?

[mrmpa]

4. We're in the same organization.......

The Marine Corps League. He's a former Marine & I'm the daughter of a former Marine (I'm an associate member).

[irisblue]

6. so you had a chance to check him out?

[mrmpa]

7. I've known him for about 6 years........

I had met his wife on previous occasions (our annual picnic & Marine Corps Birthday Ball).

[3catwoman3]

5. I am having the exact opposite reaction.

I would not pursue any further contact. If you find it scary, trust your gut. A survival specialist that I have seen interviewed on several occasions, Gavin DeBecker, advises ALWAYS paying attention to your first instinct about someone. He explained that women are particularly bad at doing this, because we get socialized to always be "nice" and not to hurt anyone's feelings.

The example he gives is a woman waiting to get on an elevator. It arrives, and there is only one other person in it - a guy who gives off a creepy vibe. Typically, a woman will talk herself out of waiting for the next elevator, because she fears offending this total stranger by not getting in the elevator with him. Mr. DeBecker points out that no other mammal on the planet would get into a closed metal box with a creature that made them fearful.

[Marthe48]

8. If she wanted to be unoffensive

and still be safe, she could look down the hall as if she were waiting for someone else, then glance around like she's looking for a clock.

[lindysalsagal]

10. You did the right thing going home. Block all contact from him.

This person is deranged and likely wasn't eve at the concert, and you should consider yourself fortunate.

A real date won't be this difficult: Starbucks. Always starbucks. Always have somewhere to be in 20 minutes. Use a 2nd phone: A burner, so he doesn't get your personal info. They're $10 at walmart with pay as you go from tracfone.

There are jerks out there and you don't have your guard up. You'll learn the ropes, but you are smart to be on here getting advice.

[womanofthehills]

18. Having been out there in the dating scene as an older adult

I definitely agree with 3catwoman3. You know he is a liar and he already has shown some weird behavior. I always go with my gut. If this situation was normal, you would not be writing it here.

And the guys who say they love/really like you on the first date, are often incapable of love - they are just needy and who you are as a person doesn't really matter to them. They don't know much about you but they really like you - run, run, run.

[Marthe48]

9. Try again

in a public situation with no set time that it starts. Make sure you both have created a contact for the other on your phone, so if his phone rings, he knows its you, and vice versa. It could be that there were phone connection problems. My phone doesn't ring long and I miss calls because my phone always goes to the bottom of my purse and I don't get to it. If you already know each other, should be easier to meet in public. Have fun!

[lunatica]

11. Your gut advice is the only advice you should seek or follow

Just the fact he didn't answer your texts or calls is suspect enough.

He shouldn't be telling you that he really likes you as much as he should be doing some major apologizing. I find it scary that after all that he just says he wants to still go out because he likes you. It's just a tad weird.

[bigwillq]

12. I wouldn't waste my time

I would never contact him again.

[Yavin4]

13. He made the situation far more difficult than it had to be, and that's a bad sign.

Something just isn't right about the whole situation. Walk away from it and move on.

[LisaL]

14. As I recall, his wife just recently died. Did he get cold feet?

Maybe it's too early for him to be dating.
I am still not clear if he was even there?

[a kennedy]

15. This is spot on......something is just not right......trust your first thought....not comfortable,

get the hell out of there, and always, ALWAYS, trust your gut.

[hamsterjill]

16. Run.

There are other fish in the sea. If a relationship starts out this bad, it doesn't have a chance.

If he wasn't where he was supposed to be, which caused you to stress trying to find him (more than once!), that was inconsiderate at the very least. You can do better than this.

[yellowcanine]

17. Meet at a restaurant next time. Much safer all around.

A concert is a lousy place to try to meet someone you do not know.

[mrmpa]

19. I've known him about 6 years....n/t