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Gonna throw something out here..... (Original Post) alittlelark Sep 2016 OP
I'd like to think that by the time I knew someone well enough The Velveteen Ocelot Sep 2016 #1
I probably would never be with someone who is racist bigwillq Sep 2016 #2
63 yrs old, 2 failed marriages, live alone... Wounded Bear Sep 2016 #3
amen! nt steve2470 Oct 2016 #20
would not be a "soul-mate" handmade34 Sep 2016 #4
The love of my life is a racist TexasBushwhacker Sep 2016 #5
When I met mine DFW Sep 2016 #6
I'd dump that person in a flash. nt frogmarch Sep 2016 #7
I just can't think of a way a racist would get close enough to me OriginalGeek Sep 2016 #8
I couldn't be in a relationship much less soul mates with anyone holding racist views. Ever. AgadorSparticus Oct 2016 #9
I broke up with a guy because of that. redwitch Oct 2016 #10
I would realize I have made terrible mistake. ohnoyoudidnt Oct 2016 #11
no way would a "soul-mate" of mine be racist Skittles Oct 2016 #12
Run as fast as you can. Racism is a symptom of serious personality disorders of varying underahedgerow Oct 2016 #13
Racism/Sexism are not medical disorders, they can not be treated with meds. chknltl Oct 2016 #14
My soul mate was a racist unfaithful thieving asshole. Iggo Oct 2016 #15
I'd know he wasn't a soul mate. nt LWolf Oct 2016 #16
then I'd say he is not your soul mate. Dyedinthewoolliberal Oct 2016 #17
Can't speak for anyone else, but racism of any kind is a deal breaker for me Marc2010 Oct 2016 #18
I'd say bye-bye supposed soul mate... 47of74 Oct 2016 #19
I'm not a racist, so there's no way my "soulmate" could be one steve2470 Oct 2016 #21

The Velveteen Ocelot

(115,664 posts)
1. I'd like to think that by the time I knew someone well enough
Tue Sep 27, 2016, 08:40 PM
Sep 2016

to confer "soul-mate" status on them, I'd already know they weren't a racist. If they were, they'd never get to be my soul-mate because I'd have long since 86'd their bigoted ass out of my life. However, assuming this person did manage to conceal his racism and Trumpism, but now you've found out, you'll have to decide whether your soul really does want to mate with someone like that...

 

bigwillq

(72,790 posts)
2. I probably would never be with someone who is racist
Tue Sep 27, 2016, 09:17 PM
Sep 2016

If they wanted to vote for Trump, I wouldn't care since it's their vote; I don't think all Trump supporters are racist.
But, a racist? Naw. Don't think I could ever be with one.

Wounded Bear

(58,637 posts)
3. 63 yrs old, 2 failed marriages, live alone...
Tue Sep 27, 2016, 09:19 PM
Sep 2016

I don't much trust all that "soul mate" shit. Sure, the heart wants what it wants, but the head makes decisions.

handmade34

(22,756 posts)
4. would not be a "soul-mate"
Tue Sep 27, 2016, 10:04 PM
Sep 2016

I could not, would not, be partner to a Trump supporter/racist, etc... I would part ways

TexasBushwhacker

(20,169 posts)
5. The love of my life is a racist
Wed Sep 28, 2016, 09:10 PM
Sep 2016

For that reason, our relationship fell apart. We're still friends somewhat, but he never changed and every time I talk to him he says something that reminds me why I didn't want to have children with him. I never married and oddly enough, neither did he.

DFW

(54,338 posts)
6. When I met mine
Thu Sep 29, 2016, 01:31 AM
Sep 2016

We had many hours to get to know each other. By the time 3 days had gone by, we knew we were on the same wavelength, despite coming from two different continents, cultures, and speaking two different languages (I spoke hers better than she spoke mine).

No way it would have gotten anywhere if one of us had been a racist or (in her case, since she is German) a Nazi sympathizer.

That was 42 years ago. We were both 22. Now, at 64, we are still happy together, and still not racist. We still speak German together, but our children are fully bilingual.

OriginalGeek

(12,132 posts)
8. I just can't think of a way a racist would get close enough to me
Fri Sep 30, 2016, 11:13 AM
Sep 2016

to achieve soul-mate status.


Unless you're asking about some "Love at first sight" situation, in which case, no. Not that either.

Now, my in-laws were pretty open racists - not mean, but prejudiced. (as if that was any better but I digress). But then, so were my wife's. We both managed to escape that and have been happily married for 30 years.

Growing up in Texas I knew more than my fair share of racists. I didn't date them.

AgadorSparticus

(7,963 posts)
9. I couldn't be in a relationship much less soul mates with anyone holding racist views. Ever.
Sat Oct 1, 2016, 12:07 PM
Oct 2016

I lose respect for them. And that loss of respect grows. It just would never work for me.

redwitch

(14,944 posts)
10. I broke up with a guy because of that.
Sat Oct 1, 2016, 12:12 PM
Oct 2016

We weren't soul mates though. Drop the n word around me and we are through.

underahedgerow

(1,232 posts)
13. Run as fast as you can. Racism is a symptom of serious personality disorders of varying
Mon Oct 3, 2016, 01:31 AM
Oct 2016

degrees, including schizophrenia, and many other things, far worse.

Who needs that kind of hate in their life?

Plenty of other humans out there to pair up with. I'd rather be alone than paired up with a potential psychotic.

You picked them. It's your choice.

chknltl

(10,558 posts)
14. Racism/Sexism are not medical disorders, they can not be treated with meds.
Mon Oct 3, 2016, 03:37 AM
Oct 2016

For purposes of this discussion, I wish to connect racism with sexism because I feel that they are two sides of the same coin. I am of the opinion that when our culture grows to accept this connection within it's paradigm, both racism and sexism will be greatly diminished!

I am manic/depressive, as are all the males in my family and as were both my deceased grandfather and father, so are all of my current nephews. My brother Jeff has the horrifying added complication of full blown schizophrenia. Jeff believes himself to be "All Of Space", a cosmic deity many billions of years old. Jeff will remain under the care of our family for the rest of his life. Unlike some of the males in our lineage, Jeff refuses to take any medications for his manic or depressive mood swings-let me assure you, those meds help me, without them we would not have chknltl to kick around here at DU.

What we have is a handicap, it is just not visible on the outside. Like any other person with a handicap we would trade the world to be 'normal', to have the chance to lead 'normal' lives! Tragically Jeff is fully unaware that he is twice cursed handicapped. He believes that Mauri Povich needs to give him a lie detector test so he can prove to the world that he is indeed an alien deity. Once the world learns of his true self, he will take me on a world tour on an aircraft carrier and the Pope will be accompanying us. (Interestingly enough, "All Of Space" is afraid of flying which is why he needs the aircraft carrier).

There are indeed personality disorders associated with our illnesses, anger and impulsiveness to name a couple of items but that's what the meds are for. Hate is not the same thing as anger, one can not treat hate with medications! Any racism or sexism that we have in my lineage or in anyone else's for that matter, comes in thru being taught to see things that way. It is not a genetic trait nor is it something one can just catch like the flu. Cures for racism/sexism must come by unlearning what has been learned.

Why is this all important? Because fear of/hate for the handicapped are also learned things. I strongly ask that you not 'teach' others that "Racism is a symptom of serious personality disorders....including schizophrenia". I ask this of you because I hope that I've made the case that one is a cultural disorder while the other is medical disorder and that we with the medical disorders would prefer not to be lumped in with the reasons behind the culturally taught hate you refer too.

 

47of74

(18,470 posts)
19. I'd say bye-bye supposed soul mate...
Mon Oct 3, 2016, 04:30 PM
Oct 2016

...I'd be saying to that supposed soul mate, "you're nothing to me now. You're not a soul-mate, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you around here. I don't want you at my house. When you see <certain friends>, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?

steve2470

(37,457 posts)
21. I'm not a racist, so there's no way my "soulmate" could be one
Tue Oct 4, 2016, 04:59 AM
Oct 2016

I really don't think my SM would like Trump, either. I sure don't.

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