New Line of Trump Condoms Boast Thinnest Skin Possible

[Warpy]

?w=1200

NEW YORK — U.S. President-elect Donald J. Trump held a press conference this morning to announce the manufacture of Trump Condoms, his latest namesake business venture, which will feature a gold foil-wrapped contraceptive touted as having the thinnest skin ever to hit the market.

“These condoms are really something, really terrific,” the incoming 45th President told reporters. “The slightest touch, be it real or imagined, will create a sensation that goes way beyond what mainstream condom companies would call ‘appropriate,’ folks, and I mean that — big league.”

But the prophylactics have faced a great deal of criticism even before their official release. Leaked developmental records show the condoms failed numerous stress tests, with one report describing them as “too delicate to be considered a qualified option.”

Live footage confirmed the President-elect turned slightly red and grew defensive when reporters mentioned these concerns.
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Much more and other funny stuff at http://thehardtimes.net/2016/12/11/new-line-trump-condoms-boast-thinnest-skin-possible/

This guy's going to give The Onion a run for its money.

[True Dough]

1. And you know those condoms are going to be well used, even if they're delicate...

[Wolf Frankula]

2. They come in

Small, Tiny, Extra Tiny and Microscopic Sizes.

Wolf

[Kaleva]

3. It's just Saran Wrap in fancy, gold packaging.

Still, it's an upgrade over his earlier product which was a white sock in a sandwich baggy.

[lastlib]

4. The critical question is:

Does it "grab 'em by the p****"?

[lastlib]

5. Not only are they wrapped in gold-foil.......

They are in a package **MUCH** larger than the little product itself.