Proof that I can't write a decent joke (Trump walks into a bar...add your own)

[A HERETIC I AM]

Trump walks into a bar and the bartender says
"Hey! You've got a caterpillar on your head"

Trumps hair says
"No, I've just got a prolaspsed rectum.

Trump walks into a bar and shouts "I'm your new president"

A drunk in the corner says "Yeah? You and whose army?

Putin walks in.


Trump walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks "What'll you have?"

Trump says "The usual"
The bartender punches him in the face.


Trump walks into a bar.

The entire patronage runs out the other door, screaming

Trump walks into a bar with his entire cabinet.

The bar immediately burns down, everyone becomes illiterate, the air quality becomes deadly, a war breaks out in the mens room, Water floods the entire place, and every woman in the joint kicks him in the balls.

Trump walks into a bar and takes a seat.

And then another. And another. Then complains there are no seats and he isn't going to pay for his drink.

Trump walks into a bar.
The building emigrates to New Zealand

See? Told ya I couldn't write a joke.

[Glamrock]

1. OH MY GOD!

That first one!

[A HERETIC I AM]

6. ...

[JudyM]

16. Yep, comedy gold.

[revmclaren]

2. Donald Trump walks into a bar....

Everyone else ducks!

[Ken Burch]

3. Trump walks into a bar...and insults the priest and the rabbi...

n/t.

[fleur-de-lisa]

8. That's the most realistic scenario. N/T

[localroger]

4. A liar, a narcissist, and a deadbeat walk into a bar

The bartender asks "What will you be having tonight, Mr. Trump?"

[JudyM]

17. Ha!

[sarge43]

5. Trump walks into a bar,

orders a drink, finishes it, then stiffs the bartender.

and a priest gives unction, a rabbi says kaddish and a minister mutters, "Our ass is grass, praise the Lord".

[A HERETIC I AM]

7. Trump walks into a bar with Betsy DeVos....

The Grizzly at the end of the bar shoots her.

[jpak]

9. Trump walks into a bar. Bartender says...

What is this a joke?

[hay rick]

10. Old joke recycled.

Donald Trump walks into a bar. He drinks a shot of tequila. He drinks another shot of tequila- and another. He gets so drunk that he pukes on his shirt. He flags down the bartender and says "I'm in trouble now. When Melania finds out I drank so much that I puked on my shirt she'll kill me." The bartender says: "Don't worry Mr. Trump, here's what you do. Take a ten dollar bill and put it in your shirt pocket, then go home to your wife and say some other guy puked on your shirt. The guy told you he's sorry and gave you ten dollars to have it cleaned." Donald says okay he'll try it. He goes home and tells Melania "I was in the bar and this guy puked on my shirt and gave me this ten dollars to have it cleaned". She looks at the money and says " but he gave you twenty dollars." Donald says "Oh I forgot to tell you he also shit in my pants."

[TexasBushwhacker]

11. That one made me LOL. n/t

[A HERETIC I AM]

12. .....

[A HERETIC I AM]

13. I was looking for those sorts to reference

Perfect! Very funny

[tandem5]

14. Trump walks into a bar because he keeps forgetting that he's in prison for treason.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

15. And the bartender says, "why the long tie?" NT

[DFW]

18. Donald Trump walks into a bar

He sits down. The bartender walks over and asks, "What'll it be?"

Trump asks huffily, "Don't you recognize me?"

The bartender says, "you look like someone doing a poor imitation of a president."

Trump gets pissed and snarls, "whaddya mean? I'm Donald Trump!"

The bartender answers, "like I said."

[A HERETIC I AM]

19. ...