What's your favorite malaphor?

[bench scientist]

Everyone knows what a metaphor is, but I prefer malaphors.
A malaphor is a mixture of two common idioms, or cliches leading to the creation of a something new in metaphor form.
Probably the best known is it's not Rocket Surgery. A combination of it's not rocket science and it's not brain surgery.

My personal favorites" We'll burn that bridge when we get to it" and " The road to hell is the spice of life".
What's your favorite malaphor?

bench

[pkdu]

1. I have no horse in this fight! nt

[democratisphere]

2. To be or not to be; Now what was the question?

[longship]

3. Move the goal posts all the way out to left field. nt

[Xipe Totec]

4. If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. nt

[3catwoman3]

11. I think that is...

...a mala-four. Well done!!!!

[Xipe Totec]

17. Credit to Zapp Brannigan - Futurama. nt

[Kimchijeon]

24. You beat me to it lol

[Nac Mac Feegle]

5. Make sure every T is dotted and every I crossed. nt

[lpbk2713]

6. Yogi Berra.

What else need be said?

[Doreen]

7. Power corrupts,

absolute power corrupts absolutely.

This is exactly what is happening.

[brush]

8. Also, absolute power reveals.

[Doreen]

10. I like that.

[Ron Obvious]

9. I heard someone mention "gelding the lilly" the other day.

Does the pope shit in the woods?
We were just two sheep that passed in the night.

[eppur_se_muova]

20. "To gild refined gold, to paint the lily ..."

Gilding the lily is already a malaphor.

Therefore, to be possess'd with double pomp,
To guard a title that was rich before,
To gild refined gold, to paint the lily,
To throw a perfume on the violet,
To smooth the ice, or add another hue
Unto the rainbow, or with taper-light
To seek the beauteous eye of heaven to garnish,
Is wasteful and ridiculous excess.

Salisbury, in The Life and Death of King John, Act 4, Scene 2, by you-know-who

[Ron Obvious]

21. Thanks, I actually didn't remember that.

It's always important to have your facts in order when engaging in sneering pedantry, so I'll be sure to remember this.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

39. Hahahaha. Thanks.

[MrPurple]

12. Does the pope shit in the woods?

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

16. Is a bear catholic?

[eppur_se_muova]

19. Bears are omnivores -- you can't get more catholic than that.

(Well, you didn't say Catholic ...)

cath·o·lic
ˈkaTH(ə lik/
adjective: catholic

including a wide variety of things; all-embracing.
"her tastes are pretty catholic"
synonyms: universal, diverse, diversified, wide, broad, broad-based, eclectic, liberal, latitudinarian; More
comprehensive, all-encompassing, all-embracing, all-inclusive
"her musical tastes are quite catholic"
antonyms: narrow

Origin
late Middle English: from Catholic.

[unblock]

13. This thread really rubs me up the wrong tree!

[earthshine]

14. I hate to say anything good about GWB, but ...

"Fool me once ... shame on ... shame on you,
fool me twice, er, ummm, ... won't get fooled again!"

was one of the funniest things I have ever heard.

[uriel1972]

31. The importance of bondage...

between mother and child. Another Dubya doozy.

[uriel1972]

33. We really did misunderestimate him...

[Ron Obvious]

41. I thought that was Dan Quayle?

Ha, isn't it amazing that, considering present circumstances, Dan Quayle seems like a perfectly reasonable candidate for the office now?

[sprinkleeninow]

47. Quayle spelt 'potato' 'POTATOE'

😆

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

15. People in glass houses sink sh-sh-ships.

A penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?
And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.
Why don't you make like a tree, and get the f*@k outta here?

[COLGATE4]

18. All's well that ends.

[fNord]

22. "Well if that ain't the pot.....

Calling the pipe green."

Also: "this'll be like getting two birds stoned at once."

[Iggo]

28. That reminds me, I gotta catch up on my Trailer Park Boys.

I miss me some Ricky.

[fNord]

35. Ricky, remember what I said about thinking before you talk.....

One of those words wasn't real.

[TexasBushwhacker]

23. Don't stick your neck out on a limb n/t

[bench scientist]

25. LOL all of these are great!

[TlalocW]

26. You can lead a horse to water

But you can't make it make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke and stay happy as a clam.

TlalocW

[truebluegreen]

27. We'll jump off that bridge when we get to it.

[Iggo]

29. My brother is fond of messing up the common age and height ones.

That guy's fifty if he's an inch.

-- or --

That kid's six feet if he's a day.

(Cracks himself up, he does.)

[NJCher]

30. These are hilarious and I am going to start

collecting them when I hear them.

Being an English teacher, I rarely mess up a cliche, mostly because we're trained not to use them. I do, however, switch up names of stores. When I talk to my brother, who is an engineer and thus very precise, he corrects me. For example, he patiently explains that it illogical for me to to say Shop 'n Stop. "They would not want you to stop shopping, you understand," he says. "That is why it's Stop 'n Shop."


Cher

[uriel1972]

32. I could care less...

It's very unique after all.

[sprinkleeninow]

45. When my hub's parents used to visit,

his mom called Food Lion, 'Food Tiger'. Now we still call it that to this day!
Ya gotta interject silliness ta keep it reallll...

[sprinkleeninow]

34. "I know how hard it is to put food on your family." Mad Cow(boy)

(Maybe this is a malaprop and not what the OP asked for?)
Well, anyway 😝

[WinkyDink]

43. ?? Dubya said this. Is that whom you mena?

[Phentex]

36. Not the brightest bulb in the shed. Just heard this on tv...

that's mostly where I hear these. People try to sound witty, but then mix up the phrases.

[Zorro]

37. Let's get this boat on the road

I use it all the time.

[OriginalGeek]

38. Well now, I reckon this subject

is a horse of a different flavor!

[Dave Starsky]

40. You buttered your bread, now lie in it. n/t

[WinkyDink]

42. A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a metaphor?

[sprinkleeninow]

44. Aw, man. Now I'M all mixed up. Moreso than usual.

Is moreso a proper word? The grammaticals will reprimand me. And yas, that was the other 'selected' pResident in the Peoples' Whitehouse, the champion of brush clearing, bush*
🆖
Anyway, 🍻
(A tad foggy tonite. Just took note of your user name. I had a Winky Dink set, did you? Hahah.)

[WinkyDink]

49. Oh, I had a WinkyDink set, for sure!

[sprinkleeninow]

52. Now then, should I ask you to describe it (The Winky Dink) and its application

or should I drop this like a hot potatoe❓

[sprinkleeninow]

46. Most excellent thread! Love it. It's been good for my head, doncha know! n/t

[sprinkleeninow]

48. One more post and I'm done.

Don't cry over spilled chickens.
Don't count your milk before it's hatched.

Ima

[WinkyDink]

50. I ALWAYS cry over spilled chickens! It's a doggy-dog world!

[world wide wally]

51. He didn't know whether to wind his watch or walk to school

[ashling]

53. What you have there is

called a mixed metaphor. As a college instructor i would advise against mixing your metaphors

[bench scientist]

54. dually noted (pun intended).

[Tommy_Carcetti]

55. Does the Catholic bear pope shit in the woods? nt