SF Bay Area dating scene help

[WilmywoodNCparalegal]

Ok, so my social life is non existent. Dating has never been a problem for me until I moved to the SF Bay Area a few months ago. I managed my first months and empty weekends alright. But now, spring and summer coming, it's starting to become oppressive. I've done it all - online dating, meetups, volunteering, etc. I see plenty of good looking guys who appear to be straight and single, so I know they are out there.

I'm attractive and smart. I work out. So, what's a single girl to do? I'm not into the bar scene and I do not have any friends who can set me up with anyone. Suggestions? What would be good places to go to pick up a single good-looking guy in SF or Man Jose? (sorry, the East Bay and Napa are too far for me)

[lapfog_1]

1. Hmmm...

How old (approximately) are you?

I used to own a Latin nightclub in Mtn View... and met plenty of single ladies by learning to salsa (I was deemed to be "OK" at it by my South American friends, at least for a white guy).

I would suggest taking up a hobby like that, preferably with some friends from work or similar. Then go to various night clubs and just be yourself and have fun.

There are many other ways if dancing isn't your thing. Hiking, learning to scuba dive, snowboarding, discussion groups, etc.

[WilmywoodNCparalegal]

2. I'm early 40s

but part of the problem is that I look in my early 30s. I also tend to date men who are slightly younger (35 to 42 range). I don't have any cool coworkers (all are much older and have families; they are also not very social).

I've done meetups for hiking, etc. It has been surreal because I never had problems before (in fact, quite the opposite). I have interests that I would think would be suited for the area - gaming, technology, etc.

I'm not the bar-going type, but if I must, I will... any good places?

[bluecollar2]

3. During my misspent youth

As a straight single male in San Francisco....

The Pierce Street Annex and the Abbey Tavern and Churchills were great places to meet the fairer sex....

Of course all that ended when I became a responsible human being and got married in 1986.

We left town shortly thereafter...

I wonder if any of those are still open...

Good luck...enjoy Baghdad by the Bay.

With any luck I'll be able to return there one day.

On edit:

I forgot to mention concerts at the Grove...

Sigmund Stern Grove concerts were always a good time...

[Hell Hath No Fury]

4. SF is a very hard City to date in --

I have lived here all my life and dated the past 30+ years and it has never really been easy, unless you were into the bar scene/hooking up. I think it is actually worse now that the tech industry has invaded because the type of male that tends to work there (and that the City is to the brim with) is not exactly socially adventurous or willing to really put themselves out there. My advice? Find yourself some female friends for starters -- they are an investment in your life, both social and personal. Also, take some classes -- they have ALWAYS been a very successful place for me to meet men -- just pick the right classes. Clubs can also be a good place -- again, it's about choosing the right club (wine club, food club, theater club, etc.) Volunteering has rarely given me any dating success (mostly women volunteering), so I would just scratch that. And the final word of advice for dating in SF: never, EVER assume anything about person's gender, sexual orientation, sexuality, or relationship status based on what you think you see. My dating life is littered with "good looking guys who appear to be straight and single" who turned out to be NOT.

[WilmywoodNCparalegal]

5. Thanks for the tips

I tend to relate to men better than women, possibly because my interests more closely align to those of men (sports, video games, etc.). It has gotten very challenging for me to deal with yet another weekend with nothing to do - as much as I love to explore, doing it by myself is very draining.

It doesn't help that my current workplace is devoid of any sort of social interaction and the people I work with are much older with families, so there's no 'networking' of any kind with them.

Ugh...

[Bravo Duck]

6. A place to meet guys.

Radio controlled car racing.

Attend a race, there are several different types of racing. On road, carpet track, off road with jumps, drag racing... . They're fun to watch and many guys are there. You can walk around the pits and talk . People always like to talk about their hobby.

The races are usually on weekends. You should be able to find some by googling " rc racing" and the town you're looking in. Or call some hobby shops, they should be able to direct you to some local races.

[Tikki]

7. Sounds like fun, even if you are not single.

I am sure these racing vehicles are very advanced and can accomplish all kinds of trials.

Tikki

[DFW]

8. We have a woman friend who lives on Union Street and is the same boat

She lost her husband about ten years ago, and hasn't found another partner since, although she would like to. She is older than you are, which doesn't make it any easier. She does have a decent record as a matchmaker, though, as far as I know, and is very well connected. If you are right in town, and she isn't off in Italy or Africa somewhere (which she tends to be), I could put you in touch.

Living about 6000 miles from San Francisco and being neither attractive nor single (since Lincoln was president, I think), and not even female for that matter, I'm afraid I have no words of wisdom to offer.

[TexasBushwhacker]

9. Go to a dog park?

Even if you don't have a dog - LOL.

You say you work out. What about joining a group to train to run a marathon.

[WilmywoodNCparalegal]

10. Update... and now the 'fun' begins

I went to a meetup event on Friday night. Wasn't expecting anything out of it except to have a good time. Ended up having a great conversation with an awesome guy - we have a lot in common, about the same age, etc. We exchanged numbers - he asked if I wanted to hang out. As the venue closed, we moved on to another place and, let's just say we hit it off and .. yadda yadda yadda... Anyway, after he left on Saturday morning, I spent wondering when he will contact me - if ever. He actually texted me that same evening and we've been texting here and there.

Now, I'm in that weird, uncomfortable 'zone' of waiting to see if we're actually going to go out or meet, etc. aaaaarrrrrghhhhhh ... Wondering... should I text him today or wait for him or ... Why does this stuff suck so badly?