Pirate walks into a bar with

[LuckyCharms]

a ships steering wheel attached to his waist with a belt.

Bartender says: Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel attached to your waist?

Pirate says: Ayeeeeee. It's driving me nuts.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. A pirate walks into a bar...

The bartender noticed that the pirate had a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The bartender asked the pirate how he got the peg leg, and the pirate answered, "Well, matey, I got washed up overboard one night while we was in a fierce storm, and dang me if a shark didn't go and bite off me leg."

Then the bartender asked, "How'd you get the hook?" and the pirate answered, "Well, we was in a fierce fight while boardin' a ship one time, and that's when I got me hand cut off."

Finally, the bartender asked the pirate, "So, how'd you get the eye patch?" and the pirate responded, "A seagull crapped in me eye."

"You mean to tell me you lost an eye just because a seagull crapped in it?"

"Well, it was me first day with me hook..."

[LuckyCharms]

2. LOL!

[Glorfindel]

3. Pirate walks into a bar with a parrot sitting on top of his head

The bartender says, "May I help you?"

"Yeah!" says the parrot. "Tell me how to get this damn pirate off my ass!"

[DFW]

4. Cowboy in ten gallon hat, gunbelt and spurs walks into a bar with a colorful macaw on his shoulder

The bartender just stares, and finally asks, "where in the world did you find THAT?"

The macaw answers, "Oklahoma."

[yonder]

6. my favourite so far

[progressoid]

5. Will have to remember that one for the fishing trip in a couple weeks!

[longship]

7. A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender says: What is this? Some kind of a joke?