Any KPop fans?
Because I'm crazy about the genre. It's almost all that I listen to anymore.
I have over 100 different KPop artists in my music library. And that means thousands of albums, EPs and singles clogging up my hard drives. But even I have favorites, and singer/songwriter Jonghyun of SHINee was always my bae, a Korean term for bias or favorite.
I don’t know why I was drawn to him, of all the KPop artists out there. It wasn’t his personality, although I found him suitably endearing.
It wasn’t his looks, because scores of KPop artists exceed him there. Not that he was ugly. He wasn’t, in any sense of the word. But if it’s pure looks, then Baekhyun of Exo or nearly every member of Super Junior definitely leaves him in the dust.
He wasn’t the sexiest or most charismatic guy in KPop, either. That’s Yunho of TVXQ or T.O.P of Big Bang, hands down.
He wasn’t even the best vocalist, male or female. He was up there, to be sure—WAAAAAAYYYYY up there, as in Top 5 KPop vocalist material, but KyuHyun of Super Junior, Chen of Exo and Taeyeon of SNSD were (slightly) more talented.
Yet Jonghyun was my bae despite all that, and I realized it was because he was good enough in all of those categories, overall, to make him stand out. Sort of like winning on total points, rather than one category. There was simply something special about him to me. And so I became a fanatic watching hours of videos of him on YouTube, whether it was music videos solo or with his band, SHINee, or goofing off on a variety show.
And then, in a flash, he was gone. He took his own life on 18 December 2017, after a long battle against depression.
I have had favorite celebrities die and grieved their passing, but none hit me like Jonghyun’s suicide. I cried so hard that I couldn’t breathe. I almost went to the ER, because my chest was aching so much that I thought I might be having a heart attack. And even now, I can still break down in tears when I see videos like “Replay,” or when I see him in happier (or what only seemed happier) times with his SHINee bandmates.
Only a month after his suicide, SM Entertainment released “Shinin’,” the first track from his final album, finished not long before he died. I almost couldn’t bring myself to watch it, but I braced myself and hit the play button on Youtube. There were tears, but I managed to smile through them, probably much like he had done all those years with the pain he felt. Somehow, I felt connected to him, and soothed by the song’s promise that he would always be there. As long as there are the videos, and the memories of his many fans, he will indeed be with us.
And anyone who thinks his talent was all studio magic and KPop glitz, well, how about a live performance?
RIP, Jonghyun. You did well.
= new reply since forum marked as read
