OMG! - we are going to be a laughing stock abroad!

[LeftishBrit]

She's just made Boris Foreign Secretary!

No, I didn't make that up; I don't have enough imagination to invent that!

[Warpy]

1. We in the land of Trump salute you

It's nice to know we're not the only idiots in the world.

(Boris? Good grief, he even looks a bit like Trump)

[pennylane100]

2. I just heard that,

I believe she is known as a Thatcher type politician. This does not look very good for the UK. To make matters worse, Labour is in the middle of some kind of internal fight which I hope they settle before an election is called for.

[LeftishBrit]

3. Even Thatcher usually had the less dreadful people represent us abroad, even though she chose

terrible people for the public services.

[muriel_volestrangler]

4. And she's appointed one of the most corrupt MPs to International Trade

Liam Fox had to resign because he let his friend Adam Werrity pose as an official adviser to him to make money.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Werritty

Johnson's a buffoon; Fox is literally an official danger to national security.

[Denzil_DC]

5. Lest we forget ...

[muriel_volestrangler]

8. Or obtaining a journalist's address because his friend wanted to beat him up

During the 21-minute conversation, in the summer of 1990, Johnson, then a journalist on the Daily Telegraph, leads Guppy to believe that he would try to obtain Collier's home telephone number so that his home address could be traced.

Guppy, who declares he believes himself to be a "potential psychopath", gives "his word of honour" that Johnson's role in the assault will remain undetected.

When Johnson expresses concern about how severe the beating will be, Guppy tells his friend: "I guarantee you he will not be seriously hurt. He will not have a broken limb or broken arm, he will not be put into intensive care or anything like that. He will probably get a couple of black eyes and a ... a cracked rib or something." The revelation prompts Johnson to ask, "Cracked rib?" and Guppy to reply: "Nothing which you didn't suffer at rugby, OK? But he'll get scared."

On the tape, Johnson appears to be afraid his role in supplying the personal details will be found out and seeks reassurance from his friend that it will not. At the end of the conversation, Johnson is heard saying: "OK, Darrie, I said I'll do it and I'll do it. Don't worry."

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2009/mar/29/boris-johnson-channel-4

[whathehell]

22. OMG..Did he really say that?

[Denzil_DC]

24. Oh yeah.

Johnson's 'piccaninnies' apology

Boris Johnson has apologised for referring to black people as "piccaninnies" and talking about "watermelon smiles".

During a debate for the London mayoral contest on Monday, the Conservative candidate said he was "sad" that people had been offended but insisted the words had been taken out of context.

In a column published in the Daily Telegraph six years ago, Johnson mocked Tony Blair's globetrotting: "What a relief it must be for Blair to get out of England. It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving piccaninnies," he wrote. It also mentioned "watermelon smiles".

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2008/jan/23/london.race

[whathehell]

29. Jeebus..

Almost makes Trump look PC...Unreal.

[Spazito]

6. I have to say my chin dropped upon hearing that...

Even the news reporter had a "I can't believe this just happened" tone in their voice, lol.

[DonCoquixote]

7. The last time some of our more regressive elents tried to break up the country

we fought the Civil War against them, and won.

Not saying you will need to go that far (though Nigel seems eager to play the part of General Lee), but when they lose, and when they come demanding to be let into the great community, do NOT make the mistake me did and offer "malice toward none, charity towards all" because if you do, they will simply do what our regressive element did, bide their time and sneak their way back into power.

[LeftishBrit]

9. What next?

Nadine Dorries as Health Secretary? Philip Davies as Education Secretary? Priti Patel or Bill Cash as anything at all? Or Daniel Hannan, when he loses his job as Euro-MP?

[muriel_volestrangler]

10. Literally, in German newscasts:

Germany-based journalist Laura Schneider tweets:

German TV news presenters can't help laughing as they announce #BorisJohnson as Britain's new Foreign Minister.
9:19 PM - 13 Jul 2016

Laura Schneider @alauraschneider
Boris Johnson is "hated" in Brussels, German @ZDF's Brussels correspondent says.
9:14 PM - 13 Jul 2016

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/blog/live/2016/jul/13/pmqs-cameron-may-reshuffle-labour-leadership-bid-as-mcdonnell-defends-claim-that-anti-corbyn-plotters-fucking-useless-politics-live?page=with:block-5786b01be4b08239dbab7248#block-5786b01be4b08239dbab7248

No surprise about the feeling in Brussels:

For 25 years our press has fed the British public a diet of distorted, mendacious and relentlessly hostile stories about the EU - and the journalist who set the tone was Boris Johnson.

I know this because I was appointed Brussels correspondent of The Times in 1999, a few years after Johnson’s stint there for The Telegraph, and I had to live with the consequences.

Johnson, sacked by The Times in 1988 for fabricating a quote, made his mark in Brussels not through fair and balanced reporting, but through extreme euro-scepticism. He seized every chance to mock or denigrate the EU, filing stories that were undoubtedly colourful but also grotesquely exaggerated or completely untrue.

The Telegraph loved it. So did the Tory Right. Johnson later confessed: 'Everything I wrote from Brussels, I found was sort of chucking these rocks over the garden wall and I listened to this amazing crash from the greenhouse next door over in England as everything I wrote from Brussels was having this amazing, explosive effect on the Tory party, and it really gave me this I suppose rather weird sense of power.'

Johnson’s reports also had an amazing, explosive effect on the rest of Fleet Street. They were much more fun than the usual dry and rather complex Brussels fare. News editors on other papers, particularly but not exclusively the tabloids, started pressing their own correspondents to match them. By the time I arrived in Brussels editors only wanted stories about faceless Brussels eurocrats imposing absurd rules on Britain, or scheming Europeans ganging up on us, or British prime ministers fighting plucky rearguard actions against a hostile continent.

http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/a-journalist-has-shared-a-story-about-boris-johnson-that-completely-undermines-his-authority-on-the-eu--bkoHJPBuVZ

[Denzil_DC]

12. A little more insight on that second story:

Last edited Wed Jul 13, 2016, 07:45 PM - Edit history (1)

The first time I heard the name Boris Johnson was in the early 1990s. I was in graduate school, and one of the ways I made a little money during the summer was by helping shepherd tours of American policy people around Brussels to be lectured by various dignitaries and then writing up reports. One year, my Americans were treated to a performance by a prominent UK member of the Brussels press corps, who was clearly enjoying himself immensely. The larger part of his talk focused on Boris Johnson, who was then the Daily Telegraph’s Brussels correspondent. The journalist told of how Johnson clearly was completely at sea in Brussels, and at a loss for what to report on. Other reporters quickly noted that he had a sweet tooth for stories about this or that regulatory horror that Brussels bureaucrats were about to inflict on unsuspecting Britons. They started an informal pool, to see what was the most ridiculously exaggerated story that they could stuff into Boris, which he would then relay as gospel truth to Telegraph readers. The speaker suggested (perhaps exaggerating for effect) that they hadn’t yet been able to find a story so ludicrous that Boris wouldn’t gulp it down.

http://crookedtimber.org/2016/06/28/boris-johnson/

[Denzil_DC]

11. Succinct

https://twitter.com/cher/status/753309026427867136

[johnp3907]

13. Um....Rule Britannia?

[non sociopath skin]

14. At first I was shocked a stunned .... shocked and stunned I was .... and then ...

... me and Mrs. Skin talked about it over supper.

And the more I think about it, the more I think that Theresa May have pulled a rather clever "flanker" here. He's not in a position to turn down one of the "Great Offices of State" but not only is the Foreign Office a poison chalice right now, it's particularly toxic one for Yer Man.

Just suppose that what Cruella is saying to him is "You broke it - you fix it".

She went out of her way to say, even before she was elected that "Brexit Means Brexit" so she's set down a very clear marker - pretty much the opposite of Bo Zo who, before the ink was dry on the Returning Officer's report, was hurrying to shuffle backwards from the consequences.

But now he can shuffle no more if he wishes to retain credibility. Either he negotiates a Euro-friendly solution - in the face of which his remarks during the Referendum will continually be brought back to haunt him by his many enemies - or he negotiates an unfriendly one, for which the consequences will be on his head.

Either way, his path to Downing Street will be severely challenged.

And now I see that she may have stitched up his buddy Dai the Davies in much the same way.

Yes, I may end up having a grudging respect for Cruella for this one, if for nothing else she ever does.

The Skin

[Matilda]

15. Mr Matilda (who's a Brit) and I just sat stunned.

Then decided there had to be some politicking behind the scenes that we didn't know about or understand.

This guy has to try to get the best deal for Britain from the EU - will they laugh at him, or hit him?

I'm sure there's much we don't know, but Boris and delicate negotiations - I think not.

Feeling a bit bemused at the moment.

[Nihil]

30. That was also the conclusion we came to after a little quiet thought ...

... when discussing this with my son last night: "You broke it, it's yours!" and delivered
in a manner that he has no chance to back-pedal away.

I have to say that in this - as well as for Davies & Patel - May has already proved herself
a master (mistress?) of making the punishment fit the crime ... (just like the Mikado ...).

[Denzil_DC]

16. US State Department spokesman told Boris Johnson is Foreign Secretary

tried his best to keep a straight face

...

Tonight, State Department spokesman Mark Toner tried valiantly ... and failed to keep a straight face when confronted with the news Boris had been made Foreign Secretary.

And if you watch the clip carefully, you can see the exact moment the awful truth hits him.



...

For his part, Mr Johnson has accepted he might have a few apologies to make before he starts his new job.

...

Asked if he had anyone to apologise to, perhaps President Obama, he said: “The United States of America will be at the front of the queue”

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/state-department-spokesman-told-boris-8417326

[Dworkin]

17. Need a laugh

Denzil,

For those of us in the UK with a liberal disposition, reading news and posting on forums could become a miserable grind for a while. Yes, we do need to see the funny side of this Tower of Babel, unless we retire permanently to a life of gardening.

Keep up the good work!

D.

[RogueTrooper]

20. Just when the the genuine smile from laughter turns rictus

[BooScout]

18. All I can figure is she is making him own Brexit...

There is just no logical explanation for this appointment.

[auntpurl]

19. I don't know about you, but I sure prefer to negotiate

delicate trade agreements with no leverage, massive need, and a complete fucking buffoon leading the charge.

[LeftishBrit]

21. One of the few bits of good news is that Gove has apparently got the Order of the Boot

[T_i_B]

23. Well.....

...Gove and Theresa May did have a public spat in the last parliament so I'm not wholly surprised that she wanted him out.

My former MP John Whittingdale has gone as well. I'll let somebody else make the inevitable fruity joke about what he will be doing in the backbenches.....

[muriel_volestrangler]

25. The new International Development Secretary wanted to scrap what is now her department

Priti Patel, the Secretary of State for International Development, said in 2013 that trade and private sector investment could take priority over aid.

She was appointed to her new post running the Department for International Development on Thursday by the new Prime Minister, Theresa May.

In 2013 Ms Patel said: “A long-term strategic assessment is required, including the consideration to replace DfID with a Department for International Trade and Development in order to enable the UK to focus on enhancing trade with the developing world and seek out new investment opportunities in the global race.

“It is possible to bring more prosperity to the developing world and enable greater wealth transfers to be made from the UK by fostering greater trade and private sector investment opportunities.”

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/new-international-development-secretary-priti-patel-called-for-department-for-international-a7137331.html

And since May has created a department for International Trade, with the corrupt Liam Fox as its head, Patel thinks her department is pointless. Brilliant.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

26. Rue, Britannia.

I guess the US isn't the only country with ridiculous politicians...

[unblock]

27. i imagine she's trying to hang brexit on him so she can survive whatever mess he makes.

of course, now he's saying, i ducked out of the pm job to escape exactly that responsibility....

[muriel_volestrangler]

28. Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson booed at French Embassy

The new Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, has been booed by some of the guests at a French Embassy reception in London.

In his first public speech in his new role, Mr Johnson told the audience at the French Ambassador's residence that Anglo-French intergovernmental relations would be strengthened as the UK moves to leave the EU.

It was not clear whether the booing came from British or French guests, or both.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36798992

[LeftishBrit]

31. Two flippant remarks from another forum

(1) Isn't it interesting that one of our worst politicians has a surname that means 'Prick' to Americans, and one of their worst politicians has a surname that means 'Fart' to the British?

(2) Q: Why should Boris Johnson be called 'Johnson' instead of 'Boris'?
A: Because he certainly isn't Godunov!

[T_i_B]

32. ‘A coup in Johnny Ottomanland? Don’t panic, I’ve got this’ insists Boris Johnson

http://newsthump.com/2016/07/16/a-coup-in-johnny-ottomanland-dont-panic-ive-got-this-insists-boris-johnson/

Newly installed Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has issued a statement to reassure the British people regarding events in Turkey.

“Erm, yes, isn’t it? Hello, I’m Boris, the, erm, you know, chap in charge of the foreign types and everything,” said Mr Johnson as he combed crunchy nut corn flakes out of his hair.

“I just want to take this opportunity to reassure everyone that I, a man unable to negotiate a zip wire, is perfectly able to handle the events taking place in that Ottomanland place just next to where we have our summer hols.”

“So essentially, no one panic because I’m Boris and I’m brilliant at foreigners.”

[muriel_volestrangler]

33. Someone pointed out "Boris Johnson, Foreign Secretary" sounds like a Viz cartoon (nt)

[T_i_B]

34. Remember "Baxter Basics MP" from the 90's?

[Denzil_DC]

35. They need to rename the Foreign and Commonwealth Office

the You Couldn't Make It Up Office:



https://twitter.com/BorisJohnson/status/754071415612116992

[T_i_B]

36. Here is the link

https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/turkey

There you go. More informative than anything on a politicians twitterfeed.

[Denzil_DC]

37. Very much so.

The FCO has its own Twitter feed, which did give that link.

Which raises the disturbing possibility that they may be letting Boris run his own Twitter account, rather than filtering it through a staffer.

What could possibly go wrong?