David Cameron's victory speech - a translation

[LeftishBrit]

I’ve been proud to lead the first coalition government in 70 years and I want to thank all those who worked so hard to make it a success, and in particular, on this day ,Nick Clegg.

I’ve been amazed to survive the first coalition government in 70 years and I want to thank all those who worked so hard to help us win this election, and in particular, on this day, Nick Clegg.

....

It means giving everyone in our country a chance, so no matter where you’re from you have the opportunity to make the most of our life. It means giving the poorest people the chance of training, a job and hope for the future. It means that for children who don’t get the best start in life, there must be the nursery education and good schooling that can transform their life chances. And of course it means bringing together the different nations of our United Kingdom.

It means giving everyone in our country a chance, so no matter which public school you went to, you have the opportunity to be a Tory cabinet member. It means removing the safety net of welfare. It means that more children will go to unaccountable free schools. And of course it means bringing together the different nations of our United Kingdom, although I've got no f***ing clue how to do that with the Scots.


(And much more!)


http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/05/08/david-cameron-victory-speech-spoof_n_7241810.html

[shenmue]

1. Why does English gin taste like aspirin?