Wildlife officials in Florida are now offering free T-shirts
and raffle prizes for anyone who catches a Burmese python.
You never want to hear: 'Just hold still, and we'll pry the jaws off'
The new "Python Pickup" program may be viewed either as whimsical desperation, or state government merely trying to make the best of a hopeless situation.
Any serious snake expert will tell you the big constrictors are in the area to stay. At the current pace of infestation, it probably won't be long before a python shows up on the croquet lawn at Mar-a-Lago. The Secret Service should scope out the instructional video provided by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.
This is no joke. The title is "Safe Capture of Burmese Pythons." https://vimeo.com/150195833
Consider this gem of low-key advice in Step Two, which describes the proper way to pin and secure a large snake's head: "You have to be quick to do this. Try not to hesitate."
http://www.tampabay.com/opinion/columns/carl-hiaasen-you-never-want-to-hear-just-hold-still-and-well-pry-the-jaws/2322574
