Florida Man Attacks Girlfriend With Pumpkin, Police Say

[marmar]

AFlorida man was arrested in the early hours of Monday morning for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend with a pumpkin.

Nathan Garisto, 26, was arrested on domestic battery charges, after he reportedly threw a winter squash and its innards at his girlfriend at around 2 a.m.

The Largo residents had been cohabiting for a year and a half, according to the police report, when the pair began arguing. The woman asked her boyfriend, who was intoxicated, to leave the property several times. He refused and his girlfriend claims he responded by striking her with a pumpkin, and throwing a tarp with pulp and seeds all over her. .............(more)

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-pumpkin-attack-1541220

[Beakybird]

1. She could have been gourd.

[luv2fly]

2. Instead she was squashed

I'm tired... 😷

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

3. 'pumpkin innards'

Reminds me of you know who and I'd be offended as well.

[Harker]

4. Seeds of a bad relationship.

[Harker]

5. Withered on the vine.

[world wide wally]

6. Smashing.

Did it have dyed yellow hair and a big gut?

[Initech]

7. It's the Great Pumpkin, Florida Man!

[Ziggysmom]

8. Reminds me of a bad joke

A man was driving home late one night,on a lonely road and is feeling very horny. As he is passing a pumpkin patch, his mind starts to wander, He says to himself, "Ya know,a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there's no one around for miles." He pulls over to the side of the road, picks up a nice juicy looking pumpkin, cuts the appropriate size hole in it,and begins to do the pumpkin. Very shortly he is really into it,and he doesn't notice a patrol car pull up. The cop walks over and says,"Excuse me sir,but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?" The guy looks at the pumpkin in complete horror, thinks fast and says, " A pumpkin? Oh My God,is it midnight already?"