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LiberalLoner

(9,761 posts)
Thu Nov 7, 2013, 11:10 AM Nov 2013

I didn't mean to stir up the gender wars.

I've been badly hurt by some things that have happened to me. I don't see all men as harmful. I'm happily married. But because I have gone through some stuff, I'm hyper alert to the possibility of danger from men and when I post, sometimes the venom and despair rooted in what I've experienced comes out.

I'm sorry for that, and sorry for any sh*t I've stirred without meaning to.

I would imagine some of you have been hurt too, and maybe you get angry sometimes at what was done to you.

I know I'm not welcome on DU. Just thought I owed some people an apology before I go is all.

23 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I didn't mean to stir up the gender wars. (Original Post) LiberalLoner Nov 2013 OP
As far as I've seen you've always been a substantive poster to this group Major Nikon Nov 2013 #1
+1 nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #12
You know what... Bonobo Nov 2013 #2
Your 1st paragraph is why I always enjoy your posts Inkfreak Nov 2013 #4
Thanks, Inkfreak. Bonobo Nov 2013 #11
This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #10
That's not going to happen. Look at meta. Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #15
Hi, LL Wait Wut Nov 2013 #3
Thank you all so much for being so gracious. LiberalLoner Nov 2013 #5
The people who, to my mind, are genuinely not welcome on DU would never say such a thing. Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #6
I hope you stay. n/t lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #7
Your post should not have been hidden... TeeYiYi Nov 2013 #8
Coming soon, the next point of contention in the not-gender wars Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #9
"If sex is a weapon, who's winning this war?" Bonobo Nov 2013 #13
That is fucking AWESOME. Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #16
I think of it more like hockey. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #14
Apparently the phrase gender war IS itself problematic, so from here on out I will instead Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #17
One of my favorite movies. and a great writer. RiffRandell Nov 2013 #18
"math, math, math, math, math..." /lilting melody opiate69 Nov 2013 #19
I can say "Ned Shneebly" all day long. Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #20
I so was expecting to hate that movie... opiate69 Nov 2013 #21
It was Richard Linklater, wasn't it? Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #22
Ah.. That would help explain it then... opiate69 Nov 2013 #23

Major Nikon

(36,814 posts)
1. As far as I've seen you've always been a substantive poster to this group
Thu Nov 7, 2013, 11:27 AM
Nov 2013

As such you are as welcome as anyone else here and your input is appreciated.

Everyone gets angry. Some deal with it better than others. Understanding where our anger comes from is the first step in addressing any behavior which arises from it.

Bonobo

(29,257 posts)
2. You know what...
Thu Nov 7, 2013, 11:28 AM
Nov 2013

If we all stopped assuming the very worst of each other from every post and stopped demonizing each other, we would probably find disagreements only in the degree to which we focus on each issue and NO disagreements on the actual issues.

We all carry pain, and luggage to these anonymous discussion rooms.

Though many may doubt my sincerity and goodness as a person, I also regret hurting people.

Sometimes striking back is all we know how to do because we were raised that way.

Thank you for your sincere apology (though it is unnecessary from my POV). It touches me because it humanizes you and through it, I hope we can connect at least for this one brief moment.

Be well, grow healthy in spirit and safe journeys.

Inkfreak

(1,695 posts)
4. Your 1st paragraph is why I always enjoy your posts
Thu Nov 7, 2013, 04:27 PM
Nov 2013

Ya hit the nail on the head. And on the rare occasion I don't quite agree with a post you have written, I always think to myself that I bet we could still have a reasonable calm discussion about it. I respect you and others who take this approach on DU.

Dunno if that means much from a random person on the Internet. But if ya ever wonder if you're reaching people thru posts here, you have. Thanks, man.

Response to Bonobo (Reply #2)

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
15. That's not going to happen. Look at meta.
Fri Nov 8, 2013, 01:27 AM
Nov 2013

...The train is the wreck, as it were.

It's the reason I don't take certain aspects of this site very seriously anymore. Life ...too short.

Wait Wut

(8,492 posts)
3. Hi, LL
Thu Nov 7, 2013, 12:56 PM
Nov 2013

I've been staying out of this, but something you said is forcing me to add some input.

"I know I'm not welcome on DU."

It breaks my heart that you think this. None of us have to agree with each other 100% of the time. We're human beings allowed the right to our own opinions, beliefs, fears, etc. Someone you get into an argument with today could be your strongest supporter the next. DU is like that. Hell, my friends are like that IRL.

Many of us have been hurt. We all deal with it in our own way.

Whatever you choose to do, please do it for the right reasons and not because you don't think you're welcome here. No one should feel that way. Well, except for the occasional RW troll.

Take a break and think about the good things here.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
6. The people who, to my mind, are genuinely not welcome on DU would never say such a thing.
Thu Nov 7, 2013, 05:43 PM
Nov 2013

The people who are genuinely not welcome on DU get banned over and over, and yet keep coming back to deliberately stir up crap while simultaneously complaining in secret enclaves elsewhere on the web, how much the place sucks.

I am sorry you've been through ... there is no phrase or combination of words which will do it justice, and I obviously can't fathom- so I'm sorry you've been through what you've been through, and I am sorry you've had to walk a difficult path.

I am aware that some people on this board are suffering from effects of their pasts. And I realize that people have their own burdens or whatever.

I do not believe that any strife on the board currently is your fault. Most people here have written something over-the-top and had it hidden at one time or another.

Like you, I have no interest in DU's "gender wars" Ned Shneeblies. I've said over and over again I think it's idiotic, and played out. I leave it to the reader to decide whether or not people who keep saying that they absolutely can't stand this site really ought to be trusted when they start trying to whip up a frenzy on the board over this, that or the other.


 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
14. I think of it more like hockey.
Fri Nov 8, 2013, 01:25 AM
Nov 2013

"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except the there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other." -Jack Handey

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
17. Apparently the phrase gender war IS itself problematic, so from here on out I will instead
Fri Nov 8, 2013, 06:49 AM
Nov 2013

use "Ned Shneebly".




In the interest of not feeding the flames of any additional ridiculous DU Ned Shneeblies.

 

opiate69

(10,129 posts)
21. I so was expecting to hate that movie...
Sun Nov 10, 2013, 12:42 AM
Nov 2013

As a musician, believe it or not, Airheads was the only movie I'd seen that actually "got" the whole thing, but Jack Black killed it in that lol.

 

opiate69

(10,129 posts)
23. Ah.. That would help explain it then...
Sun Nov 10, 2013, 03:05 AM
Nov 2013

Yeah, he's done some good stuff.. And I'm actually a big Jack Black fan, but I thought "JB and kids, making a rock band... Hmm.. Gotta be shit". And while it's no Citizen Kane, it pleasantly surprised me, for sure...

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