Power of the Picket Fence II: assault, armed robbery, and the shaggy lawn culture.

[Warren DeMontague]

Last edited Thu May 31, 2012, 08:26 PM - Edit history (1)

Armed robbery is terrible. Its bad. And so is violent assault. so can there be any doubt that these things are part and parcel of our grassified culture where it has become increasingly permissible to let your lawn go to seed? Obviously not. Because the scientifically peer reiewed sociological framework of lawn flatzhitzmatpiphery clearly tells us that through society's lens of lawnificating violencimatationizing, violence is always associated with not mowing your lawn frequently enough.

Lets review:







We need to do something about our lawnified culture, or the violence will never stop. WHY WONT THEY LISTEN?!?!!!?!

[lumberjack_jeff]

1. Yes. It's a well understood cognitive process.

People frustrated with their shaggy lawn will rob convenience stores for the money to hire the hapless neighbor kid.

[Warren DeMontague]

2. "well understood cognitive process"!

Nice to see ya, Jeff.




You realize that for using that phrase successfully in a sentence, the machine will dispense you a biscuit. I thought skinner, in particular, would appreciate the irony.

[Warren DeMontague]

3. Its also a statistical fact that 97% of all armed robbers have had contact, at some point in their

Lives, with crabgrass.

[Warren DeMontague]

4. See, science!